How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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