Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

thumb_up thumb_down

So a man dipped his balls in sloppy joe sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the hamster not on his wheel? Because he had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

thumb_up thumb_down -2

People Eating Tasty Animals

thumb_up thumb_down -2

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's black and white and red all over? A cow being processed

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What do the Wizard of Oz, Popeye and my sweaty, fat asshole all have in common? The letter O.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

thumb_up thumb_down -8

I'm gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

A horse walks into a bar. It neighs and knocks over a few tables before leaving the bar confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Hello I'm a fat kid

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

What's green and has wheels? A chinese race car driver.

thumb_up thumb_down -10

How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

thumb_up thumb_down -18

Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops