Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Microsoft Windows

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I'm not as random as you think i salad.

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What if I told you that our role our "little team" is not as little as you think?

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Banana(s)

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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