Come over here boy and have a cigar, you're gonna go far. Congratulations on being the first human cannonball, please use the cigar to light the fuse. Happy landings.

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How many ears does Chuck Norris have? Two.

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Why did Willy kill the black man? Because not.

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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What did the dead man say at his own funeral? Nothing, he's dead...

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8=D

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he died...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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"I love you, you love me" And you didn't just read that; you sang it.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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