Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a four door Sudan? A: Two in the front, three in the back, six million in the ash trey.

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What did the fish say when he swam into the wall? Nothing, fishes don't speak, and due to their short memory he's probably forgotten about the event already, although he may have a pretty bad headache

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How come Michael Jackson can draw a perfect circle? He likes little BOYS.

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An armed ninja walks into a bank. He is apprehended by the police, whom he tries to attack with a drawn sword, and is promptly shot down in a hail of gunfire causing civilian injuries and rather significant property damage.

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how did the thirteen year old girl get pregnant? she was raped.

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Why did the blonde drown in the bathtub? Her father repeatedly molested her and beat her mother, she no longer wanted to live in such a life and promptly committed suicide

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Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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69

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this going to be my new text thingy! i dont have a phone! WATS UP!

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Whats the difference between a cobra and the hulk? One is my penis and the other one is a cobra.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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Why, if you are blending a baby, should you put it in feet first? So you can look in to it's eyes when masturbating.

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Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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What do you give a small child when you don't have any candy? Nothing, you just kidnap them.

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Why didn't Erick have a party last week? Because his grandma died

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin... Nothing they are muffins.

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The WNBA

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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What do you call a blond british girl a blond britishngirl

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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