I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

Guess What? What? Get in the van.

Why was johny late to school? He died

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

like my drawing of a white person?

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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