Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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whats worse than flunking math? death.

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What did Lady Gaga say to Justin Timberlake? "I love the Backstreet Boys!" Justin Timberlake Replied with a Bazooka.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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Hi! This is Richard Young, I'll take it from here Ms.Mcgruder, lets find a quiet place to talk about this, e.c. at 5:00 p.m. tomarrow.

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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Why did the little kid use pillows at night? Because he was constipated.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Okay chan, you can have it then, I am tired.

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What di the wrecking ball say to the house? Duck!!!

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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