"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What did one deer say to the other? Nothing. The second deer was killed while they were eating and now the first deer is scarred dot life.

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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A British man walks into a dental office.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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A small child and a pedophile are walking hand-in-hand through the dark, creaky woods. "Mister," says the small child, " I'm scared." "YOU'RE scared?" says the pedophile. "I'M the one who's gonna have to walk back alone!"

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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