what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

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Why did the rabbit like to wear shoes? It doesn't.

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Kittens.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Women's sports.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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Person 1: Do you want to hear a joke? Person 2: Sure! Person:1: That was the joke... You missed it!!!!!

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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