the guy below me is gay

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Your doorbell is broken.

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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69

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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How many monkeys can play COD at once? It depends on how many controllers you have.

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A man walks into a bar. Jeremy Lin congratulates him for being a person.

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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Kittens.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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