A woman gets in her car to drive.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Why did Billy fall down? Because his brain was replaced with a piece of toast.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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666 im christian

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Knock knock Who's there? Alzhiemers guy Alzhiemers guy who? Knock knock

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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Penis in a box.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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