- Anti Joke

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

I am really good at math debating

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

What's the difference between a vegetable and my son? Nothing

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

potato farming

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

I am really good at math debating

What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

HTML

What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

i wish i was a tree !

What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

Anti Joke

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