Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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