how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Tim's gay.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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What do you call a Chinese man in a cage full of Ostridges? A zoo worker.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape her abusive father

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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I cut my pubes, Now they itch a lot.

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

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What did the Queen of England say when here servant died? Another one bites the dust!

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? Nothing, hes Jewish.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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