Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What is brown and sticky?

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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