How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Kittens.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Roses are blue, Roses are red. Give me your money, Or I'll cut off your head.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

69

thumb_up thumb_down +37

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

like my drawing of a white person?

thumb_up thumb_down +33

here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

your mother is so lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house. No. Neither has he

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops