I scream. You scream. We all scream.

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

A man. That is all.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

a

balls in ya mouf

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

Penis jokes.

How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

Bert: Hey, what you got there? Sal: Nothing.

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

Happiness is just at the end of the road... Just take a look at how long that road is yeah i wouldnt even try

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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