What's red and green? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the woman make a sandwich? She was hungry

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

corey is a nipplepotomus

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Man walks into a car dealership and asks the salesman "How many of these Blue ones do you have in stock" ? The salesman looks at the Man and begins to cry. "Why are you crying" asks the Man "I had a dog named Blue once" replied the salesman. And then he ate a taco in front of the Man,wiped his hands on his slacks and slowly backed away from him. The Man thought to himself..."Gee I'm hungry" and left the car dealership to go buy a taco instead.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i said "what what in the butt, i said what what in the butt?"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the jew break his iPhone? He dropped it when i shot him in the face.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Alright, if you guess it right, I'll stop playing Mario and finish my division problems. Okay, Mom, call it in the air! Heads or Tails? Huntington's Disease is the reason your Father doesn't remember your name anymore, Billy. There's a fifty percent chance you'll end up with it too. I am so sorry. Also, Tails.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why should you rape a dog instead of a human. Because there esier to catch

thumb_up thumb_down +4

how do you upset a barber? Murder his family

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's so funny about a heart attack? It's not kidney failure..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops