Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Whats funny? Nick Sotelo

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

2

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do you call a female duck? A duck.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Q:how do you brighten up a room? A:you turn on the lamps

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

There are four types of people in this world. I never said I would name them all

thumb_up thumb_down +3

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +3

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

So dont touch it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your Mama's so fat she need some serious medication treating overweight.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

thumb_up thumb_down -1

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why couldn't the little girl walk? She was raped by a herd of black men, resulting in irreversible damage to her rectum and groin area.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops