What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

What is brown and sticky?

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

Women's rights

Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

your mother is so lesbian

why did the chicken cross the road Why not

What sucks?

Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

im black

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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