How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

like my drawing of a white person?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

I'm not as random as you think i salad.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What is red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree ? Because he was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was attached to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game. Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a monkey.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

thumb_up thumb_down +24

newt gingrich

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

your mother is so lesbian

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops