What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

thumb_up thumb_down +12

A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

NEVER

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

thumb_up thumb_down +6

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

thumb_up thumb_down +6

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's. Where are the keys?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops