What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Dozer has a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Its a chicken, giving it the tendencies to wander if not properly fenced in.

thumb_up thumb_down

A simple country boy and a hugely attractive young blonde sit in the same train carriage. They exchange greetings and pleasentaries, but are quiet for the remainder of the journey.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

thumb_up thumb_down

I have read the Terms of Service.

thumb_up thumb_down

A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

thumb_up thumb_down

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

thumb_up thumb_down

Grapefruit.

thumb_up thumb_down

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down

Roses are red, violet are blue I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

thumb_up thumb_down -2

Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What did the prostitute say to the cop? What? I can suck your dick for free Mr. Officer

thumb_up thumb_down -2

What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Ask me if I'm a peanut. Are you a peanut? Yes. Ask me if I'm an orange. Are you an orange? No, I'm a peanut.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

What happens when you put a bunch of Republicans in a room together? They form a caucus.

thumb_up thumb_down -6

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops