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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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Water, please.

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Whats the difference........ between a duck?

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because he was dead.

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what's the funniest anti joke? not this one

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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A black goes to college

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HARRY EFFING STYLES

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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hi

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Women's sports.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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