- Anti Joke

When I was at the beach digging in the sand I looked down and someone said nehow

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

ring ring ring hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) beep beep beep

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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How is it possible for a man to get raped? Easy. He lied.

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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