Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

Why couldn't the boy ride his bike? He had no legs. Why didn't he have any legs? He was hit by a truck.

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

Women"s Rights

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

AVI IS A FAG

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They are obviously different species but they both have wings and are birds and are actually pretty similar. Geese are usually bigger though I guess.

penis that is all

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

Communism

Poopsack Jones

Rebecca Black

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...