Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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hi

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops