So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

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42

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you will die someday

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee cord? ...an owl with a bungee cord.

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What's more annoying than Minion quotes? That the girl in the basement keeps screaming for help.

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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whats sad about a jew in a gas tank? nothing.

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Akshaytiger World

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

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My mom's dead

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What makes Stephen Hawking such a lame scientist??? A: he has a disabling disease. It's called ALS.

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Did you hear about that one time (@ band camp lol) where there was a little boy and he wanted to go swimming sooooo abd and then ooo look squirrel

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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