What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Q: why did the black man cry when he went to bed? A: he had just had a visit from the police and apparently his family had been tragically killed in a car accident.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Fat people are harder to kidnap!!

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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