What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Suicide.

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yo mamas so fat, she started working out

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What has a pie and my hand got in common? It's got meringue on it.

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penis that is all

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Rebecca Black

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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My mom just died....

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I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

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What is samios' favorite position? ;) Full back... In the bum.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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what did the man with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? cancer.

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A man walked into a bar and said, oppa gangnam style That man is now dead

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Poopsack Jones

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Q: What do cows do on the weekends? A: They go to the Moovies Q:What do pigs do on the weekends? A:Go Bowling

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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A guy named Dick goes into a bar and the barman says: - "hey, show my your dick" - "show you my what?" asks Dick. - "your dick!" - "oh! no, I'm shy"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops