Why did little Johnny eat his homework? Because his family is very poor and he rarely eats.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did the chicken cross the road? There's no way to know. The chicken can't speak any humanly comprehensible languages so any reason we can determine is pure speculation.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

only one person get beat up chuck norris. Who you say? Bruce Lee. He got lucky because his eyes were closed.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -26

a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Boobs are nasty!

thumb_up thumb_down -32

Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

thumb_up thumb_down -42

alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Knock knock? Who's there? The WNBA. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down -58

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -64

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

thumb_up thumb_down +49

what's your favorite soccer team? liverpool

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops