*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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A seal walks into a club.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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what do a snake and a bird have in common? they can both fly! except for the snake.

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What happens when you push an asian in a hole? He falls in

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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96

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Roses are red Violets are blue Sunflowers are yellow You thought that this would be romantic, but alas, it is only gardening facts

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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8=D

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? I don't Know, but we should inform the RSPCA.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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