Do you know why your mom is so bold? Becaus she's got cancer

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Since little kids sleep with stuffed bears, do bears sleep with stuffed humans?

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Congratulations you just won a greencard to the USA! YES YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT! WELCOME TO: UNCLEAN SOUTH ARABIA. Press green thumb below = greencard. no srslsy.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender says "Sorry sir we're closed" So the man goes: "Oh, okay. I wasn't sure if you guys were open till' 10pm tonight" and the bartender goes "No, thats only on the weekends" The man thanks the bartender and proceeded to leave the bar. He now knows the arrive earlier the following day.

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What's faster than a Mexican running away with your T.V.? An Airplane

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What call a duck with no wings? A deformity.

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whats orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot

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Konock Konock Uh, you spelt knock knock wrong... Oh.

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Roses are red violets are red, the grass is red Holy crap! My yard is on fire!

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knock knock your gay

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops