Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

A guy is playing cod

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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