whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I've got a big dick, Now suck it you fucking bitch!

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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The WNBA

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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your moms so fat... she ways like 300 pounds.

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What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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Why did the cow cross the road?..I didn't know the intentions of the cow, but an elderly woman in an automobile experienced a collision with the animal that ended not only the life of the cow but of the elderly woman as well.

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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Why did the child with terminal cancer and leprosy get sent to the principal's office? Because his parents and brother died in a car accident, and the principal though he should be informed.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

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Kittens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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