why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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A guy is playing cod

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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KIMBERLEY HONEY

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Dozer has a soul

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What is the diffrence between a strait guy and a gay guy? The strait guy gets into heaven.

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Why was the little boy sad? Because a stranger stole his shirt.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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I have read the Terms of Service.

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A tragic accident waiting to happen.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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