"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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What does a girl get from a dead MAN:)?? Nothing he is dead.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Fuck her

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Jeff" "Jeff who?" "Jeff Johnson" "From the office?" "No I work at the dehli" "The one on 6th avenue?" "No, the one on Park." "What do you want?" "Could you open the door?" "No, I don't know you" "Isn't this Mr. Walter's house?" "No, my name is Roger Stevens" "I'm sorry I must be at the wrong house" "What address are you looking for?" "15322 N Gary street" "This is 15323 N Gary" "Oh I'm sorry" "Try knocking across the street" "Thank you"

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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A Horse walks into a Bar The Bartender runs for his life as he is tripping on acid and believes the horse is a sheep. He doesn't like sheep.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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