What's worse than crying over spilt milk? The Holocaust.

Kittens.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

knock knock, who's there? you goodbye

Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

what is black, white, and red all over? A bloody panda

What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

You hear about that old man that died on the news? It was my grandfather... oh...

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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