Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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Why did the woman hate waiting in line? Two reasons really: almost an entire day had passed since her last intake of non-prescription drugs plus she was generally apprehensive that the witness would identify her.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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women's rights.

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What did the bird say to the squirrel? Chirp

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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Why was the black man shot, He resisted against a highly political challenger. Unfortunately for him the Armenian politician was not a very nice guy.

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What was the pirate's favorite letter? Q.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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what does trondifly mean? trondify is not a real word.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Two blonds are racing. Who wins? The first one to pass he finish line.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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What is worse than 10 dead babies in a trash can? 1 dead baby in 10 trash cans

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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