The mouse and the elephant went to take a bath. They had a nice time.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 took 9 behind an alley and raped her.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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Patrick is gay

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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Chuck Norris died.

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im black

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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