What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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A girlfriend scolds her boyfriend for "sitting on anti-joke all day." He then explains how it is impossible to sit on something that exists purely in digital form and instead noted it would be more correct to say sitting at a desk all day. She complied and saw the error of her ways.

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A man claims to own a talking dog. A skeptic approaches the man and his dog and asks for a demonstration. The man asks his dog, "How does sandpaper feel?" The dog says, "Ruff!" The skeptic is not convinced. The man then asks his dog, "Who is the greatest baseball player of all time?" The dog, who like all dogs cannot fully comprehend human speech, proceeds to lick his balls.

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Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Wy did Bryan eet his Dumbelllle? Anderson fell asleep again

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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Why didn't the 34 year old woman fit into some size 14 jeans? Because she was size 16.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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What's worst then lose 100$ Lose 101$

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What did the Mexican say to the Black guy? Nice to meet you Mr. President. I'm Antonio Villaraigosa, the Mayor of Los Angeles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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