really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

What is brown and sticky?

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

Homosexual babies? It's a choice

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

What do you call a box with a dead Jew in? A coffin.

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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