What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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Yo mamma is so fat, when Dracula bit her, he got type 2 diabetes.

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why was the boy crying? ... because he had a frog stapled yo his face.

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Which one is hardest?

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Whats Asian and longer than 2 inches? chopsticks.

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting fisted by hulk

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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Rebecca Black.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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