- Anti Joke

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

ring ring ring hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) beep beep beep

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

Yo mamma so fat that she was chosen to be a contestant on the Biggest Loser and we are all so proud of the amount of weight she has lost.

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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