There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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I scream! You scream! - You've Just Been Rapped

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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What did the penis say to the vagina? Nothing, genitalia can't speak.

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Why didn't the bear go snowboarding? It was hibernating

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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What do you call a Jew on a rollercoaster? A Jew on a rollercoaster.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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BARRACK OBAMA.............WHAT A JOKE!!!!!

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Why did the boy commit suicide? Because he was bullied at school and felt it was the right decision.

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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