Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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So a magician was driving down the road and then he turned into a driveway!

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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What is an anti-joke? This is.

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Knock knock. Hello dear. Come in.

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why did the boy dress up like a girl? because he has autism.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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what do we want a cure for turrets! when do we want it C U NT !!!

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What happen to the boys drink when the girl took a Sharp turn? Nothing the lid was securely fastened.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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What is Osama Bin Laden's favorite food? I don't know, and to be completely honest I doubt you do either.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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A UNIX guru walks in to a restaurant and asks for day's special. Waiter responds "tartar steak." UNIX guru thinks that "steak.tar.tar just doesn't make any sense" and responds "I'll just have tar steak."

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Knock knock. Who's there? Ben. Oh hi! come in.

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What do you cal a black boy with a bike? A thief

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9/11

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What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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