knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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really desperate to get laid guy gives out phone number in random places 5802352343 :D

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Whoa! A talking carrot!

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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A horse walks into a glue factory..

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding two worms in your apple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops