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i fondle myself every night....

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Will you marry me?

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Get in the van

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What did the penny say to the other penny? Nothing, because pennies can't talk.

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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so a guy walks into the bar...i forget the rest of the jokes but your mother is a whore.

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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BUTTERFARTING

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Knock knock Who's there? Forever alone Forever alone who? You.

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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What couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

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What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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