Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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A guy is playing cod

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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what do you get if you cross a lion with a pig? nothing as the lion would more than likely end up eating the high in fat pig.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Haha

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nine...eleven

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Why did the lizard turn blue? He was low on oxygen.

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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This one time, at band camp we played in a band

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops