How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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How do you know a dude is dead? He doesn't breath, he has no color in the face and his heart has stoped.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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holly, a japanese boy and an american boy walked into a internet cafe. They then began to play runescape so they could train together and trade rare items.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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Q: What kills millions of people each year and sneaks up behind you unexpectedly? A: HIV/AIDS

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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Timmy stop making noises while mommy is working. I have to finish these TPS reports or else my boss will be very mad at me and we won't have Christmas again.

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What is the most effective abstinence plan? There is none.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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