A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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What's the difference between a ferrari and a sack of babies? I don't have a ferrari in my garage.

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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What do you call a horse with wings? Nonexistant. Welcome to the real world kid.

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Why is my car broken? Because I drove it into a wall.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? genocide whats worse than genocide? getting raped by a giant scorpion

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Quit repeating the damn jokes you jackasses it ruins the laughter. Like if you agree.

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whats the boys name that has no legs no arms and no eyes? lucky

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

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What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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WTF BOOOOOM

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What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

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Why did the lady spill her coffee? The waiter accidently ran into her and then apologized.

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why did the chicken cross the road because everyone on the other side already had bird flu

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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I like the Tsarnaev brothers. They ran the Boston marathon and had a BLAST!

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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"Hello." "Hi."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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