hi

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Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho!" Asain Santa Claus, "Hohohohohohohoho!" Pedophile Santa Claus, "Ho ho ho! Come and sit on my lap children!" Dyslexic Santa Claus, "Oh oh oh! Merry Shitcrams!" Narcopleptic Santa Claus, "Ho ho..." *snores*. Black Santa Claus, well, I wouldn't like the idea of a black fat guy breaking into my house, eating my cookies, drinking my milk, and leaving presents under my tree. Would you?

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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How do you kill a fly? Shoot it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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