I've got the moobs like jagger.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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How did the blond die? Substance abuse

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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whats gay ? you

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dead babies

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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lewis bedford

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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What do you call a Mexican and a Black man on the moon? Astronauts.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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