Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Why did the baby cross the road? His parents were drug addicts, and didn't pay him any attention.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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A fellow walks into a bar very down on himself, so he goes into the bathroom and hang himself from the pipes.

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Guy 1: Yo dawg Guy 2: DID yOU JUST FUCKING CALL ME A DOG>/?>/???? Guy 3: Yea

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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The WNBA

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Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

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Water, please.

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this is an anti joke.... Get it yet

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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Ever heard about the gray pipes that ran along the walls? Those pipes transmit gas. Gas killed the jews. You sick fucker.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Joke.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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what's funnier than hell? heaven

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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A black goes to college

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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