What's the best part about a birthday cake? Eating it.

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What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? Horse semen

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Why is there so much hate in the world? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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Whats worse than a flat tire? penile fracture

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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A horse walks into a bar...n

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women's lacrosse.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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