A guy walks into a bar. The bartneder says, "Wow, buddy, you look awful. What's wrong?" The guy responds, "My life is a joke."

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Q: Why did the horse put on cologne? A: He wanted to smell nice.

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Hey Caleb.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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Whats pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why did the japanese bomb pearl harbor? they wanted to weaken the US naval fleet to stop the US embargo on oil being shipped to japan

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

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why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What do you call a mouse that sings? Justin Bieber

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How did shaniqua fall of the hill? because the diabito truck ran her over

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My Girlfriend

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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