How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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A guy is playing cod

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? Because they were part of his uniform.

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stuff and dogs {()}

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whats the difference between a black man and a bench a bench can support a family

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A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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How do you stop a plane? Throw flying birds at it.

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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Q:What kind of pizza did the World Trade Center order? A:Two Plains

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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What did the African boy get for Christmas? Nothing because he celebrates Kwanza.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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