how do u get a nun off the bottom of a cruise ship you untie her

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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your mother is so lesbian

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You have AIDS, I'm very sorry

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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There are two types of people in this world. People who can count, and people who can't.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

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im black

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

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So a seal walks into a bar... ...seals can't walk.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Two men sit down at a bar. First man: I hear you're having a baby! Second man: My wife had a miscarriage. First man: Oh.... The talking ceased

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops