Q. what did the refuge from uganda say to his mom when he was riding his bike A. look ma no hands.....

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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My mom.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Steven Hawking walks into a bar. This of course is impossible, as his ailments prevent him from walking.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Dozer has a soul

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Humpty Dumpty didn't fall I pushed him

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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Your Mother is so pretty that she does not need make-up.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead.

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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