What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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What do a bunch of dead babies look like in a blender? I don't know I was too busy masturbating.

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

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baby seal walks into a bar

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The man goes to the doctor after just losing his job because his company went under because of the econmic crisis. His house is being foreclosed because without the money from his job he can't afford to pay for his house. His girlfriend also just left him because of recent conflicts about money issues and how she wanted a family and with him jobless it was just out of the question. Man: "Doctor I could really use some good news" Doctor: "You have aids"

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Why didn't the black man finish high school? He overdosed on heroin.

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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What's meaty and has a poof? A meatball with a bubble.

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there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

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you just lost the game!

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When does 1=17? How many schizophrenics does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

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Q: Why did the young boy run away from girls and screamed that they had cooties? A: That's what little boys do. He also has an abusive home life

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God lets 3 people from hell come into heaven every year on chisrtmas based on how bad their last day on earth was. Its chistmas and god is standing a the gate of heaven and the first person comes up and god says, "Tell me what happend to you on your last day on earth" and the man says, " i thought my wife was cheating on me so i went to my apartment to check on her and i saw a man on the deck so pushed him off but i didnt know it was my brother. he caught onto the railing so i smashed his fingers with a sledge hammer and he fell 200 ft. Sadly he landed on a bush and survived and so i took the refridguator and through it on him but right after i did i had a heart atack" Then god lets him in to heaven. Then he has the next person come up and god asks him the same question. the man replies, " i was at my brotheres house when some crazy guy pushes me off the my brothers deck but luckily my fingers get caught onthe railing, Then the crazy guy takes a hammer and hits my fingers and i fall but land on a bush. Then the man throughs a refridguator and i get killed." God chuckles and lets him into heaven. The next person comes up and says," picture this, naked in a refridguator." excpaination: the man in tthe refriduator was cheating with the 1st mans wife.

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Why did the bird fall? It was an ostrich

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a completely legit reason dumbass

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What's worse than dropping your phone in the toilet? Drinking only milk and honey for 7 days and then getting diarrhea while lying chained up completely naked with red fire ants going up your anus and all over your body while you get eaten alive in slow painfully miserable death

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what has a huge nose and is jewish??? Henery Miller!!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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