What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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