Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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why cant blondes water ski.......... because whenever they split their legs they feel somthing wet

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What do you call a black man selling drugs? A pharmacist

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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A seal walks into a club.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Icecream

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Dozer has a soul

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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