Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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roses are grey violets are grey everything is? grey i'm colour blind fml

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what's the difference between a pile of shit and a human. a human has a mind, a pile of shit doesn't

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What did a man say to the woman with two black eyes? nothing he ain't already told her twice....

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Hi

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Last Christmas I gave you my heart but the very next day your body rejected the transfer and you died.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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High school gym class.

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How do you get a clown out of a tree? Shoot him in the head.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms

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what did the Mexican fire fighter name his two kids? Jose and Josbe

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old mcdonald had a farm had..... he now lives in the city

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? Me :'(

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is it big enough to have sex in????

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What do you call something with no legs or arms swimming in the lake? A fish.

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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if rooster puts egg on roof, in what direction it will roll? There was no egg

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What's a bug's favorite sport? Bug's can't play sports.

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Q: What is the difference between a duck? A: One leg is both the same.

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Billy had a dream. He saw himself becoming rich and famous. He drove an expensive car and lived in a mansion. His career reached its peak and he was accused by the media of having numerous sexual relations and drug problems. After 3 years of rehab he made an excellent comeback tour in which his name made it back onto the front pages and his respect regained. In his later years, he died of an accidental drug overdose and his loyal fans pay tribute to him every year. But this will never happen to Billy. Billy is a cactus.

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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