If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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i hate you.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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crime in multi story is wrong on so many levels!

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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hi

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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Women's sports.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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