What do you call a gay drive by? a fruit rollup

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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What do you call a black man with scissors.? A Barber.

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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A black man walks into a predominantly white bar and is laughed at hysterically, the man is a world class comedian.

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Kid: Teacher, what do you hate more than supervising people in detention sessions at this school? Teacher: I am a vegan. Hence meat is relatively dispicable and I abhor it in general.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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