Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

??????????????(?)/// ????????(^0^)/

You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

What does Osama Bin Laden and the typical Western man have in common? Extensively modern pornography collections.

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cancer.

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

obama is a good president

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

Dozer has a soul

http://www.ladsta.com

A guy is playing cod

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...