What do you call a guy selling drugs? A pharmacist

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

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Bin Laden is dead.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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What did you say? I don't know.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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