Why couldn't Little Timmy see the pirate movie? Because Little Timmy was blind.

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Games stop telling me to press any key to continue. That key doesn't exist.

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a. get me a drink b. a would but but i got no arms

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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How did the blonde screw in a lightbulb? She didn't, she fell and broke her neck and went to a hospital. Thus you should not laugh.

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alright whoever posted it, like this, then comment your first name

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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Kittens.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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knock knock 'who's there?' 'just open the door'

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Your mama so fat, that it's starting to affect her relationship with her husband in a negative or harmful way. (CSC)

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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