GAY PEOPLE

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your car? 12:00

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GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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Why can't an elephant smoke cigarettes? They do not posses the fine motor skills.

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In Soviet Russia, you shit on bird.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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The doctor comes out of the room and tells the new parents that there is good news and bad news. The couple says they want to hear the bad news first. The doctor says "your baby is black." The couple then ask "what is the good news?", the doctor replies "your baby is dead."

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whats worse than the halocaust? disney channel.

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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What's meaner than taking a candy from a baby? Tossing the baby of a cliff

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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yo mama is so fat, she should seriously consider gastric bypass surgery, morbid obesity is extremely detrimental to one's health

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What did the tourist in Africa get? A souvenior.

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Why did the black guy go to jail, because he did illegal stuff.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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