What's big and purple? Something that's big and purple

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why did the man blink because i put a gun to his head.

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? With the technology of compact fluorescent light bulbs they don't go out for much longer, so the question is nearly irrelevant.

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What did the finger say to the thumb? Nothing, fingers can't talk.

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Twisty Snake bite: Doctors office. Patient: Err Doc, a snake bit me in the err, private area... Doctor: I must suck out the poison immediately! Patient: What? Man! Are you sick? How do I even know if the snake was poisonous? Besides they only do that crap in bad jokes! Doctor: Yeah but this is an anti joke so drop em! Later at home: Wife: So did the Doctor help you dear? Patient: Worst doctor ever, he really sucked!

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Knock knock Whose there? you you who you know who you are

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What happened to the guy who ate an alarm clock at 6 o'clock in the morning? He nearly died, and was diagnosed with numerous dietary problems.

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Why was the picture so dark? Because it was night time and there were no light fixtures located anywhere near where the photo was taken.

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why do asian people eat each other? because they are cannibles

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If a tree falls in the woods, and no one is around to hear it - Is there still a woman in the kitchen?

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Whats 10+10? A mathematical equation.

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Why was the mouse flying? Because an Owl picked it up, carried it to a tree and ate it.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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How do you know a man is Jewish? Because he told you or you met him in a synagogue.

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whats worse than having your bike stolen? Getting raped

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What did the man do at the "take a penny leave a penny holder" He took a penny, and left a penny.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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A black guy walks up to a drug dealer. He asked the drug dealer for directions and went on with his life.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why did the black man walk into KFC? He was terribly hungry and had a reasonable amount of currency with him to purchase food for his well being.

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What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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