How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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Why should this joke be funny? It shouldn't, because its an anti-joke.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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- knock knock. ... - knock knock. ... - heey! ... (There is nobody at home.)

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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96

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Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

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What is laying in the corner of the living room of an abandoned house and keeps getting smaller over the years? A decaying baby left there by a crack-head.

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Whats ironic about the Facebook "like" button? Nothing

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weiner? balls

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Peas and Corn. Porn., a deer

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

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snooki from jersey shore walks into a bar and gets arrested.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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