Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

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What is a pirate's favourite letter? There is no definitive answer. It depends on the individual pirate, and the environmental and genetic factors that go to make up his or her preference for a particular letter.

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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What's the difference between and onion and a dead baby? There is a big difference.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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Why did the cow die? Because we need meat

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Knock Knock. Whos there? Satan.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

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Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

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Dozer has a soul

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Knock knock! Who's there? The police, we found your cat's body on the side of the road.

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What's the difference between a Elephant? It can neither bike...

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So there's this bigass moose, and it goes in the store and it asks the lady bitch "where the potatoes at" and the lady bitch says "down aisle 5" so the moose goes down to isle 5 and there aint no potatoes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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