What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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What did the racist slave owner do when his slave refused to complete his task? Asked him nicely until the task was completed.

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666 im christian

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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A man had a terminal illness. He died a few months after he was diagnosed.

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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