What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is the difference between a grape and an elephant? They are both grapes, except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

thumb_up thumb_down +7

dog

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Dozer has a soul

thumb_up thumb_down +5

- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why was Johnny crying? Because... Because... Because... Because... Because... Because of the wonderful things he does.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

http://www.ladsta.com

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What did the young boy get for Christmas? All his brothers belongings because his brother died

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

thumb_up thumb_down +1

A guy is playing cod

thumb_up thumb_down +1

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Your computer will self - destruct in 5 seconds

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Disregard Females, Acquire Currency.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird B-b-b-bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, well the bird is the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a... A-well-a everybody's heard about the bird Bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird, bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody's talking about the bird! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word A-well-a bird... Surfin' bird Bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb... [retching noises]... aaah! Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa- Pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-pa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-oom-oom-oom Oom-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-a-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Papa-oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Oom-oom-oom-oom-ooma-mow-mow Ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow Papa-ooma-mow-mow, ooma-mow-mow Well don't you know about the bird? Well, everybody knows that the bird is the word! A-well-a bird, bird, b-bird's the word Papa-ooma-mow-mow, papa-ooma-mow-mow

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops