onranges are orange bananas are yellow and apples are red/green ................... and im ................. PINK (lw/kc)

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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Hey Caleb.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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I came.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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Why did the man pee his pants? Because he was paralyzed from the waste down and had no way of feeling

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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8=D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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