Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why is Digimon better than Pokemon? It has a better story and character development.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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