How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? With tortilla chips.

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Whats worse than a bunch of teen-agers throwing kitrens at my house I didn't save them because I thought they were jehovahs witness's

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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Why did the small child fall down the stairs? Because he had lung cancer was in a wheel chair and I was incredibly tempted to push him down the stairs.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

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what is the differents between a baby and a watermelon one is fun to hit the other is just a watermelon

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the chandelier fall on the little boy? Hell if I know, the only person who saw it got hit by a chandelier and died.

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a little girl gets raped

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Hey Patrick Yeah? I found something funnier then 24 Give it to me buddy 25

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What do you say to jacks mum when your having Sex? Nothing she's dead.

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How many Coldplay members can you fit in a car? All of them, the standard car has four seats or more. Coldplay has 4 members so it makes perfect logical sense

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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knock knock your gay

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops