GLaDOS: So... this cat loves lasagna so much that he eats all of the lasagna in his house. Okay, apparently it's not the cat's house or his lasagna. Oh good! The man who owns the lasagna is furious! GLaDOS: The end. GLaDOS: The end? GLaDOS: That's not funny. GLaDOS: Do either of you feel like laughing? GLaDOS: Alright, I'm pulling you out. GLaDOS: Welcome back. While you were dead, I reworked the cartoon. It's up on the screen. GLaDOS: As you can see, in my version the man points out to the cat that the house is equipped with deadly neurotoxin dispensers. GLaDOS: At which point the cat reflects on the time he ate all of the man's lasagna and feels remorse. GLaDOS: Briefly. GLaDOS: Reactions? GLaDOS: Yes, it's funny because most of it actually happened.

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What's sad about 3 Black Guys in a Camero? It was my car...

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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Women

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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A Mexican walks into a club.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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women's lacrosse.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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What did the Sony guy say when he hit the golf ball? PS FOUR!

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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why did dinosaurs die??? because a giant rock blew them up

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Why did the bride get a refrigerator for her wedding? Because it is a very nice present

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Why did the unicorn cross the road? i dont know. unicorns arent real

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you call all of the skin around the vagina? a women

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Patrick is gay

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What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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