If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

What did Stephen Hawking say about Stephen Hawking Anti-jokes? "They're stupid".

What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

Why did the man drop his wallet? Because his palms were sweaty from a long, happy day at the beach with his family after moving into there new home.

What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

Why did the fish bite the house? Because he wanted to eat the house

What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have feeble minds and tend to wander around.

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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