So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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Kittens.

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Why did Jake have a bad spring break? Because he got hit by a car and died

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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Knock knock (No one is home)

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Why did the boy cross the road Because he needed to get to the bus stop

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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Why couldn't the little boy skate? He had cancer.

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potatoes

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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GONNA

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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