Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the car? Get in the car

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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There once were two muffins in an oven, and one definitely did not start talking to the other

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing..

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

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What's red and smells like cherries? Cherries

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Someone told me about this website.

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why did the koala fall out of the tree it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree it was fit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree it was inside the fridge why did the 6th koala fall out of the tree it was punished for dropping a fridge why did the 7th koala fall out of the tree it committed suicide after framing the 6th koala

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why did the rooster cross the road? because it was stapled to the chicken

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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what do you get when you cross a daniel lesiak with nothing? Answer - A gay homosexual

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There was a man who bought a cat. He fed it well. It got so fat.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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