What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

Do you know karate, shorty? Or are those bruises from an abusive father?

And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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