A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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what is fat and ugly. fat and ugly people

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have Alzheimers Who are you?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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There was a man who had a camel, but one day he lost his camel. He wanted to go and look for it but he couldnt because he had to go to work. So the next morning he went to look for his camel. He went over the road and saw a gate, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate and saw a forest, but he couldnt through because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest and saw a hill,but he couldnt go down the hill because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill and saw a river,but he couldnt go over the river because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river and saw a house, but he couldnt go to the house because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house and saw a door, but he couldnt knock on the door because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, and saw a man, but he couldnt speak to the man because he had to go to work. The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", but the man couldnt respond because he had to go to work The next morning he went over the road, through the gate, through the forest,over the hill, over the river, to the house, knocked on the door, saw a man, and asked the man, "have you seen my camel?", and the man said, "no"

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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If John has 32 candy bars and he eats 28, whAt does he have? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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And then the devil said "Let there be Justin beiber"

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What's worse than failing out of high school? Finding out your mom has cancer.

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The President, a terrorist, a student, and a genius were on a crashing plane. They all died.

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What did the racist wife give to her black husband on their anniversary? Golf clubs because he liked to golf.

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What do you call a kid with a peg leg and an eye patch? Names

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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