Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the chicken fall off the tree? It was stapled to the monkey.

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Can I touch it?

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Lamborghini mercy, yo chick she so thirsty Swerve, swerve

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ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? -I don't care

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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what does chuck norris use to cut scissors? another scissor.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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cory is gay

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Four Chavs drove of a cliff today, why was a i sad? It was my car :C

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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HTML

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was being chased by a wolf that eventually killed and ate it.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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NEVER

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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What's black and white, and red all over? newspaper...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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