Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What did the white man hand to the mexican? His college degree because the mexican had completed all four years of college with a 4.0 GPA.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

thumb_up thumb_down +19

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women"s Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +17

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops