Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

Women

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

So I was talking dirty to this deaf chick right...She didn't hear me.

Why was johny late to school? He died

Women's sports.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

i hate you.

why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

A boy watches as a firefighter saves a little girl from a fire and looks at his mom saying "I want to be a firefighter when i grow up mommy" The mom looks down and replies "Silly kid you're not gunna grow up you have leukemia."

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...