Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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How can you tell if a Mexican's gay? Ask politely.

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How many perverts does it take to screw a lightbulb?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Dandelions are yellow, and so are sunflowers.

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Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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If there are 3 black men as passengers in a car, who is driving? The person who is operating the vehicle.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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What Starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Popcorn.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Why was Steve buried in Australia? Because he was dead.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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What do you call a man with three arms and three legs and no nose. A highly unlikely instance that no one would believe is real.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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