what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +26

newt gingrich

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red painting.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why do cats hate dogs? because cats were bullied by dogs in highschool.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a black pilot? Whatever his name is, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the man known to his neighbors as 'Teetotal Al' buy himself a bottle of whisky? Because there was no factual basis to his nickname.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why was the little boy sad? Because he had a fox stapled to his face.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Mitt Romney for president.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My mom just died....

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Penis!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops