What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

Wanna hear a joke? No.

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

Roses are red Violets are red Trees are red Shrubs are red HOLY SHIT! MY YARD IS ON FIRE!

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

nbjhfghl

You know what's annoying When you suddenly die of a heart attack

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What did the little boy find when he came home from school? His mother hanging from a tree.

They say under Chuck Norris's beard, is just a chin.

Rebbeca black walked into a bar on Saturday

"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

Chuck Norris died.

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

A horse walks into a bar...n

What's brown and wears glasses? A poo with bad eyesight.

Why do women where make-up and perfume? because they are ugly and they smell bad.

-What do you call a pyromaniac on a golf course? *** I backed over your cat. -A FIREHAZ- wait what?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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