How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Women's rights

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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Ask me if I'm a horse. Are you a horse? Nay.

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Q: Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? A: Because she is a woman.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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your mother is so lesbian

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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Whats the best thing that happened to the jews The Holocaust

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What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

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i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why did we start questioning the philosophical reasoning of chickens?

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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