What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

come along children

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the little boy cry? His entire family was shot and killed at his elementary school play.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Whoa! A talking carrot!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

knock knock your gay

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Q: Why do so many of these anti jokes contain refrigerators? A: Seriously I don't know why

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +21

why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

thumb_up thumb_down +21

yo mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the size of the door...

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops