What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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i hate you.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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"This is not a drill!" - guy holding a hammer

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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What's 5+7? Piccillo

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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Women's rights

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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what does the doctor say to the patient. you have cancer

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dead babies

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whats gay ? you

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

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Q: Why did the cookie go to the doctor? A: Because he had terminal brain cancer.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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What is the same about a girrafe, and an ant? They are both REALLY tall. Except for the ant, sorry I lied.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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