An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

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One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Get in the van

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What do you call a fat Chinese person? A chunk.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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I learned a new party trick over the weekend; I swallow a piece of string and it comes out my other end tied! I shit you knot.

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What is the difference between a black guy and an asian? They are both black, except the asian

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"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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what do you call a sock that is no longer white a dirty sock

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a blond, brunette, and red head run away from cops and hide in potato sacks. the officer went up to the brunette and kicked the potato bag and the brunette went "woof" "woof". the officer went to the red head and kicked the potato bag and the red head went "meow" "meow". the officer goes to the blond and kicked the potato bag and the blond went "potato".

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Why didn't the Mammoth go to school? Because his species went extinct before the development of organized education. And he's also a Mammoth.

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hi

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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