boobs

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What do you call a Colombian who sells drugs? A pharmacist.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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What's worse than a dead baby in a trash can? The grief the family feels at the loss of their newborn child.

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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What comes to mind when you say the word "Mind?" Your Mind

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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Women's rights

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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