"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Well neither has he.

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

Why did the archaeologist bury his brother? Because he was dead.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

Womens rights

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

the chicken whent boomand then died

What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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