dumbledore says,"today we will learn new spells,any questions?" a student says,"are you serious?" dumbledore says,"no he is in jail for a crime he didn't commit,sort of like the a-team."

Women

A Mexican walks into a club.

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What is the difference between a jew and a boyscout? a boyscout comes back from camp.

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

What does a person say before they die? Whatever their last word is

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

A blind man walks into a bar....and a chair....and a table....and a wall....and a person... etc.

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

666 im christian

Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

your mother is so lesbian

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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