What do a grape and a spider have in common? Both have 8 legs..... Except for the grape.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are penis Violets are penis I like penis Penis

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Windows Vista

thumb_up thumb_down +7

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What did Jesus say to the Easter Rabbit? Nothing, it ran off before he could say anything. They're so skiddish, those pesky rabbits...

thumb_up thumb_down +7

The phantom menace is the best star wars movie

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Bill: Knock, Knock. Sean: Who's there? Bill: It's your neighbor, Bill Walters, from across the street. Sean: Oh, hey Bill, how are you and Margie? Bill: Oh, I'm doing fine, but Margie just got out of the hospital for a broken arm. Sean: My gosh, what happened. Bill: She was just loading the Halloween decorations down from the attic while I wasn't home and fell. She's fine though; it was only a minor fracture. Sean: Well thank goodness she alright. Bill: Anyway, I came over to return those hedge clippers I borrowed from you last month. Sean: Oh, thank you. How did they work? Bill: Just great once I gave them a coat of oil. It was a big job... I haven't trimmed those bushes in three years. Sean: Yeah, these clippers have belonged to my grandfather, father, and me. Bill: Darn, thats quite amazing, I wish I could get a pair of those, but I doubt they still make them. Sean: I'm pretty confident they don't, but you can borrow these anytime. Bill: Thanks Sean thats very generous of you. Sean: No problem, I almost never use them myself. Well I better get back to Jeanie...I'm helping her make dinner. Bill: Alright, Well thanks again.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

if it takes skill to trip over a flat surface, i have no skill...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Laura Bush and 9/11 have in common? George Bush did them.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Write your own

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

96

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What happened to the man who was hit by a car? He was immediately rushed to a hospital and was reported to have a broken femur dislocated shoulder and several broken ribs. The driver was later found and was declared driving under the influence of alcoholic beverages and the victim's family sued the driver for the medical costs. The driver was arrested and was sent to a detention center for 3 months and the victim made a complete recovery.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

thumb_up thumb_down +1

little travis puts hedgehogs in his poop chute

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops