your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

thumb_up thumb_down +20

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Gifted Education classes learning social studies curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you call a pelican with no wings? A dead pelican

thumb_up thumb_down +18

me:I will trade you 5 dollars for 10 dollars blond: Okay! me: ...

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Yo mama is so fat, that she recieves an allowance due to being physically disabled.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Mitt Romney for president.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

cot!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

thumb_up thumb_down +16

My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Your dad is so dumb he tried to put M&M's in abc order

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Hey, I just met you And this is crazy, but you're getting too close And I'm about to file a restraining order, so back up, maybe?

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops