why is the grass green? all the other colors in the electromagnetic spectrurm are absorbed except for green which is reflected and thats the only visable color

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "what'll it be?" The horse, unable to understand human language. Takes a shit and walks out.

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I am just trying to grasp the terms you use Nero, you are a genius, I mean I always heard about it, but honestly, well, my first impression of you here was... Different.

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R2-D2 is quite possibly the most vulgar character on the set of Star Wars. Every word he says is bleeped out.

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Abraham Lincoln was the 16th Presient of the United States of America. The president to follow him was Andrew Johnson, president number 17.

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What's better than winning at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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what do an black ,am and a bicycle have in comman there both objects

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How does a pig go to the hospital? Through the front door.

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Why was the boy sad? He had a Ford Taurus stapled to his face.

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Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

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-Hey, Larry! How much is one plus one? -Two

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Q: What's the difference between a trampoline and a pile of dead babies? A: You can't wear cleats on a trampoline.

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You know George Washington? He died.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Q, Where did Rebecca Black go to eat? A. TGI Fridays

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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