How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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What's red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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