A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Penis jokes.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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I came.

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

Windows Vista

Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

Why don't you have a seat, over there?

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

Dozer has a soul

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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