Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

A woman goes to the hospital to receive an ultra-sound after taking a pregnancy test a few weeks before. The doctor comes out and says "Congratulations Susanne would you like to know the results? Susanne says "No thank you." Then, the doctor says "Good, because its actually a retarded baby that we found."

A Black a Jew and a Pollack walk in to the bar bartender says "how may i help you gentlemen"

Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

Why couldn't the prostitute count to 70? She grew up in a poor family and couldn't pay for a good education.

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

Write your own

What's better than a gold medal in the special olympics? ICE CREAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

So i walk in my house after drinking that night.... my wall is green

Why did the chicken cross the road? Various reasons, one of which was to visit his wife in hospital where she was suffering from a sever case of depression. The other reason was to say his last words to her as she also has lung cancer.

SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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what's faster than a jet? a speeding bullet. what's faster than a speeding bullet? light.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

Q: Why did the Jew have to go to the Holocaust A: Because he was Jewish

Knock, knock. Come in!

What is worse than falling into a pit of needles? being lit on fire and then falling into a pit of needles I imagine

there are 2 sausages in a pan. one sausage says "wow it's hot in here" and the other sausage says "MY GOD A TALKING SAUSAGE!!!!"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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