Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

thumb_up thumb_down +24

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

whats gay ? you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's white and sticky? Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A police man, doctor and stage actor walk into a bar. They're identifying the corpse of the stage actor's brother.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Wats wet and salty and people on the west coast get covered in it? Sweat.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

ive got 99 problems and my diabetes is one of them

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops