How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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How many jews can you fit in a car? However many seats there are

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Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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no u

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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How do you make a baby eat his food? Make one first

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm not a very good poet

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Stevie wonder walks across the road without looking both ways.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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