Your Mom

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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I came.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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Like this joke

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96

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Whats worse than getting in a 30 MPH car accident? Getting in a 40 MPH car accident.

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Two Penn State administrators walk into a butt.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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women's rights.

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What did the guy do with the tv remote? Turn on the tv

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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dog

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- I have cancer. - SUCK IT UP!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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