Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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Communism

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

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An asian walks out of math class

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Poopsack Jones

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What did the carrot say when he was Chopped. Auch.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Windows Vista

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why did the chicken cross the road? its a chicken so it will wonder when not properly fenced in

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Do thumbs down me likes in this anti joke website?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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