An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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Penis jokes.

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Why didn't the black man pay for his child support bills? He made some unwise financial decisions in the past and is working three part time jobs just to stay afloat.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Your Mom

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how do you say desk in spanish? escritorio

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Like this joke

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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"knock knock" "who's there" nobody answered cus it was a bunch of little shits playing knock a door run

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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