a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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What do you get when you combine High Fructose corn syrup. sunflower oil, carbohydrates, and water. How the heck should I know!

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What did the teacher say to the other teacher? We are both teachers

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Oh, I must be hearing things.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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My mom just died....

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What happened to the jew? He got shoved in an oven.

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What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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A feminist walked into a bar and had her period

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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What do you call a man with short legs? Whatever his name is

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A depressed gay teenager goes to his boyfriend’s house. Why and what happens? Shaun was often discriminated against for being homosexual. He always tried to be positive and a good person, but when his parents disowned him, Shaun couldn’t help but feel alone and unloved. Upset, Shaun went to his boyfriend’s house to seek comfort from his lover. Sunny, his boyfriend, immediately told Shaun that he loved him and things will get better for both of them. A year later, Shaun rebuilds his relationship with his old family and they apologize for their lack of understanding. Sunny and Shaun are very close emotionally, and wish to get married. However, they live in Texas, where marriage is outlawed. Shaun’s family agrees to help aid the couple financially in their marriage. They help Sunny and Shaun move to New York City where they had a successful gay marriage and pursued their dreams of becoming a video-game character designer/artist and a professional hop-hop dancer, respectively. They adopt their first child two months later and raise their child positively, and adopt her younger sister five months after that. The two daughters love their two dads and grow up to be a successful NASA scientist and a talented singer, respectively. Sunny and Shaun live a long, happy life together filled with love, happy, and joy. They die peacefully in their nineties.

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why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

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Q; Why does paint dry? A; Because plankton are single cell organisms

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why did the old woman die? Because she was too old to live

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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