A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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What's worse than finding mold on your cheese? Getting Raped

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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yo mama is so fat she went to the doctor and the doctor told her she had diabetes

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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Nickelback

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Knock Knock Who's there I have Alzheimer's I have Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock

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Q: What's funnier than 24? A: 25.

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What is brown and sticky? A stick

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A fish walks into a bar

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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what do u call a person who reads anti.jokes a hipster

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... Nothing, because I'm single.

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How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an axe.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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