Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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dead babies

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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Teen pregnancy

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Why do you bury an Asian on the side of a hill? Because he's dead.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Knock Knock Who's there? Father Dougal Mcguire

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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Q: Ask me if I'm a tree. A: No, I am not a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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