Windows Vista

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

two fish are in a tank.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

What is worse worse than stubbing your toe? The Holocaust.

Why couldn't the mexican feed his family? Because a large percent of mexican immigrants in the United States do not have jobs due to dicrimination against illegal immigrants crossing the soutern border, thus rendering them more vunerable to unemployment is that is vastly present in the United States.

CHIIIICKKIIIIIIIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...