SPAMS!!!

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sitting on your couch? My brother.

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69

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Knock Knock Come in, the door's open.

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Why did the chicken cross the street? It didn't. It got hit by a car.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

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hi

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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Friends are like potatoes. When you eat them, they die.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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Q:whats the easiest way to get crabs? A:at your local seafood market.

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Why the girl fell from the swing? cause she had no arms

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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How many Republicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? I would think one would be sufficient, though political affiliation shouldn't have anything to do with the situation. Unless the lightbulb was residing in a specified meeting place for members of the Republican party. Also, if the building was a more public institution for gatherings, which could imply larger ceilings, then two might be needed, just for safety precautions.

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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there are 4 men in a bar talking about how well their sons are doing with their lives. But one man goes to the toilet. So the first man says 'my son is doing really well he is the head of a airline company and for christmas he got his bestfriend a plane.' The second man says' My son is doing really well he has his own car brand and for christmas he got his bestfriend a brand new car.' The third man says' Well my son is doing really well, He owns his own housing estate business and for christmas he bought his best friend a 250'000 sq foot mansion. The fourth man comes out of the toilet and all the three men say ' We are talking about how our sons are doing in their lives so what about yours.' The fourth man goes' well my son is gay but its not that bad because for christmas his three boyfriends got him a new plane, a new car and a 250'000 sq foot mansion.'

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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