What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Why did the white guy feel awkward at the black people convention? He didn't know anyone there

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dead babies

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Fuck her

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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I scream. You scream. We all scream.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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cot!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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