What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? I can't stick my dick in a watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down -18

why is 6 afraid of 7?? because 7 8 9

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Hey I just met you,and this is crazy,please stand up,if you're the real slim shady.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Hi my name is Burp -you can call me Bu Nice to meet you

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -34

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -36

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

thumb_up thumb_down -58

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

thumb_up thumb_down +53

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Q: Why did the monkey climb a tree? A: To avoid predators.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Who can jump higher than a mountain? Everyone, mountains are incapapable of jumping.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops