what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +51

Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +49

What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why did video kill the radio star? He slept with videos wife.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

what do you call four black people in a red sleeping bag? -a very snug sleeping bag as they can rarely fit more then one person comfortably

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Women's sports.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

boobs

thumb_up thumb_down +35

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops