what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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Boobs are nasty!

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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why was the man coughing? because there was a knife in his throat.

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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What's worse then finding a repeated joke on antijokes? Finding a real joke.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Why did the man steal 2 watermelons? He was a shoplifter and had a background of crime

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Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

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What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

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Why did the man take off all his clothes? He was going to take a shower.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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