what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

Why did the chicken cross the road? The holocaust.

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

Why did the man jump off the bridge. Because he found his beloved wife cheating on him with his life-long friend that he meet when they both where in pre-school.

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

Why did Johnny buy the strawberry ice cream? Because when he gets the chocolate he vomits and bleeds out of his asshole.

Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Yo mama is so fat that you are constantly ridiculed by the local kids and constantly hope that the obesity isn't hereditary.

Q. What gets louder as it gets smaller? A. A baby in a paper shredder

Dont be silly, you know that everything is relative, and that relativity is as unlimited as the subconscious mind, give me ten more minutes, and I can hypnotize you in five minutes in order to see life in slow motion yourself for as long as you feel like. Just dont expect your body to adjust like mine, meaning that if you try to run, your brain will use its old habits while your perception is used to the slow ones... In other words, you will end up on the floor or smacking into a wall.

If I crash my car, how many trees does it take to cover my yard in orange juice, yellow, because a cat pissed on my foot.

Asians...

A Jew, a Muslim and an atheist meet at the same bus station. A religious argument breaks out shortly and the three board their respective buses angry and upset. They were a really bad example of religious tolerance.

q: Why does my grandpa climbs a phone pole with a bag of bananas? a: He likes to climb and he might get hungry.

noodles

William Raines.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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