everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Q:whats the diffrence between a mexican and a deer A:one is a mexican and the other one is a deer

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A black man picks up his phone and calls his wife and finds out he had no wife

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I don't have cancer, but you do. Love, your doctor.

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How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck Chuck Norris? Cheese on toast.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Fuzzy wuzzy was a bear, fuzzy wuzzy had no hair, fuzzy wuzzy had cancerand died

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What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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You want to know what is worse than having a teen parent? Being a teen parent.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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A man asked another man what he was doing the next day. The man then proceeded to tell him that he had not intended on having any plans due to the fact that he was planning on killing himself within the next twenty three hours.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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What's worse than a good anti-joke? A bad anti-joke.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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whats worse than the holocaust? Nothing you should be worrying about the future not the past.

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Why did the blonde cross the road? Because she was stupid.

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What is one of the symtoms of clinical depression? Sadness.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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