A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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How do you confuse a blonde? Tell her an anti joke

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A woman goes into a butchers with her baby. She says "I live a few doors down and my scales are broken, do you mind weighing my son?" The butcher takes the boy away and a short while later returns holding a dripping bag. "He's 17lbs two ounces" he informs her, as his colleague brings the boy to the counter safe and well.

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What's worse than 20 babies stapled to one tree? Getting life imprisonment after...

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knock knock who's there? julian julian who? julian gonzalez

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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How do you make a dog drink? You put the dog in a blender

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How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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A man walks in a bar. He walks out.

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your mother is so lesbian

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Your mom is so dumb, she has difficulty acquiring a job to support her family.

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why did the baby cross the road...? cause he was chained to my bumper

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im black

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How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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A man. That is all.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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