My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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When does the Trogdor come? In the Niiiiighhhttttt.

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Three children are celebrating Christmas, Joey got a toy train, Janey got a barbie doll, Know what Jimmy got??? Cancer.

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Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

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Laura Pratz..

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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What's the difference between a white guy and a black guy? Their skin color.

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Why did the man die? He jumped of a bridge and then got run over by a train.

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What's the opposite of fly? To not fly

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Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

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Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have alzheimers, Cheese Toast!

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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Person 1: It's your birthday? Person 2: Yeah! Person 1: Oh.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Where did John go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What's big, red and eats rocks? A big, red Rock-Eater

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What did the black man say to the jewish man? Hello.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ram My Penis Into Ram My Penis Into Who? Me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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