- Anti Joke

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Yo mommas so stupid, she got raped.

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

why did the 1st koala fall out of the tree ? it was dead why did the 2nd koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by the first koala why did the 3rd koala fall out of the tree ? it thought it was a game why did the 4th koala fall out of the tree ? it was hit by a fridge why did the 5th koala fall out of the tree ? it was inside the fridge

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

Whoa! A talking carrot!

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

What do you call a group of black gentle men running down a hill A group of black gentle men running down a hill

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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