Why do witches ride on brooms? Because they have magical powers!

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Grapefruit.

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How does Ray Charles see? He doesn't, he plays piano.

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A duck walks into a 7-11 and says "Give me some chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this hallucination must be punishment for a horrid misdeed. The employee breaks down into tears and begins reciting prayer. The duck, slightly miffed, walks out, pondering why he'd need chapstick anyway, since he has no lips.

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When I'm through with you... They will never find your body... And even if they did... All they find would be teeth!!!

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why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

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Why did the mother have an abortion? Because she thought it would best financially for her current family.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What flys? A fly

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Why are there no Mexican people on Star Trek? Because the casting director screened thousands of actors and actresses and assembled what he/she felt was the most talented cast to create and sustain a long running television series. Unfortunately no one of Mexican dissent was awarded a role.

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Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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why was the cow laying down? because little johnny shot him with a 50 calliber

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what do you call a retarded child with a doll in his hand while crying and running up a hill in bell bottom jeans in august at night a block of ice

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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knock knock Come in.

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What do you call an Asian pilot? A pilot...

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NEVER

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Why was the man arrested? He had brutally stabbed 398 people in a 10 hour period.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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How many dead babies can you fit in a cooler? 5. using a blender to puree` = 9

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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