i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

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What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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So two muffins are in an oven. They get baked.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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A priest, a rabbi and a captain are in a sinking ship. The rabbi says let's save the children. The captain says f*ck the children. The priest days do we have time.

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How many Alzheimer patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side!

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What's blue and smells like pee? Pee, I lied about the color

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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Women's rights

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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