What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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A Jew walks into a gas chamber.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

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Why don't you have a seat, over there?

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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obama is a good president

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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A guy walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks then goes home.

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The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

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Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

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Why did the plumber kill his family? He wasn't a very good plumber.

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guns don't kill people. casey anthoney kills people.

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d

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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http://www.ladsta.com

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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nine...eleven

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Your Mama is so stupid She shot herself by accident and died. Your family has not stopped mourning since

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What is this, a center for ants? No, this is a model of the building proportionally smaller than the one we will be building.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops