A horse walks into a bar. Bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse does not respond because it is a horse. It can neither speak nor understand English. It is confused by it surroundings, and gallops out of the bar, knocking over a few tables.

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

What did the Muslim do after his friend told him a funny joke ? Laugh.

hi

what do you call a cup?... a cup

What should I name my dog?

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To mourn the loss of his daughter who died due a fatal car crash, caused by him while he was driving. across the street

Do you know that car over there? No.

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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