Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

Wha'ts Slippery when wet? A Wet Slipper.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

Wanna hear a joke the WNBA

how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Do you know that car over there? No.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

Women's rights

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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