A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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A black and a mexican start a resturaunt it turns out to be a big success and they make a chain and profit from it.

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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A woman gets in her car to drive.

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dead babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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How many blondes does is take to screw a man? one and a condem

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What did the bartender say to the midget as he entered the bar? Nothing besides attempting to serve him in the same manner as any other reveller whilst attempting to disguise his sense of pity for the midget's debilitating and somewhat stigmatised condition.

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Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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So two Jews walk into a bar... Its nice that they take missionary work to new heights

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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