Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why was my teacher depressed? Because she wanted to live in her pasta

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

thumb_up thumb_down +22

How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why'd the first koala fall out of the tree? He died. Why'd the second koala fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first koala. Why'd the third koala fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game. Why'd the refrigerator fall out of the tree? He thought he was a koala. Why'd the boy fall off the swing? He was hit by 3 koalas and a refrigerator. Why'd the boy fall off his bike? He had no arms or legs

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

thumb_up thumb_down +20

KEVIN HART

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Whats worse than black people : a grimy old woman lickin your toes

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What's white and sticky? Glue

thumb_up thumb_down +16

ron:jim i cant get the toaster to work jim:dude thats a thats my car!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops