How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

thumb_up thumb_down +32

The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Banana(s)

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the baby cross the road. It was stapled to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Wanna here somethin funny? Nope.avi

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Sup homie G. Shutup you are not black.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

A Muslim blows up a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? That she should train harder for her next boxing match, or find a less physically demanding hobby to partake in.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

i yoused to cry a little when i laughed . then i got raped by a clown.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops