Knock Knock. Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why didn't the depressed girl go on facebook? She was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a blond goes into a taxi, the driver asks where to my friend , the blond says her desired location, gets droped off and trips, falls on her head, suffers major injuries, dies,weeks later the taxi driver drove the family to the funeral, they walk out and one of of them trips and gets back up...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A man. That is all.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why didn't the skeleton cross the road? He didn't have the necessary mental ability or muscle structure to complete said task.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell you're in a childrens' ambulance from the inside? From the clown patterned body bags.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock! Who's There? Not Steve Jobs.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Roses are red, Violets are PURPLE.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops