Man I'm Bored Nice to meet you.

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says “I’ll have some H2O.” The second says “I’ll have some H2O too.” Then he dies.

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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Knock Knock Bark, Bark, Bark, Bark, YELP! Whimper Whimper... Hey man, come on in.

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Me: do u you want to here a joke You: ya Me: Woman's rights

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SAD STORY: Boy: Make me a sandwich. Girl: No.

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"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Why did the old lady but her Jelly In her roller skates and dress them up like a doll? She has Dementia

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Your momma's so fat she has fat rolls on her stomach.

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Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

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you just lost the game!

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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What do your friends and a tree have in common? They both die if you set them on fire.

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Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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