- Anti Joke

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

I pissed myself the other day in Harrods when I saw a Somalian boy run up to a curtain saying mummy.

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.

What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

Poopsack Jones

The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

Like this joke

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? over 100

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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