Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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Why was the white man arrested? He was a rapist.

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Yo momma is so fat that she is large.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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What band protects hope in current music? Nickelback.

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My mom's dead

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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