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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Knock knock? Who's there? Madeline i am back!! :D

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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Whats red and hairy ? A carpet !

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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boobs

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What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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