Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Chuck Norris

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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Your dad is so gay, he does not have a girlfriend.

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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Why did the sponge go to the store? The same reason all sponges go to stores: to be sold to patrons of said store.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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tim rafter died no one cared

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What would Martin Luther King Jr. be today if he was white? Alive.

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This is a joke with a difference. It isn't funny.

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Your mom is so poor, she contributes to the high unemployment of the country and didn't even have enough money to feed her family so Social Services came in and took them away

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A man walks into a bar. Now, that's unheard of !

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To hold their pants up.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The mailman. I don't believe you.

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Anal cheese curds.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Gravity

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Your moms so fat, she's not skinny

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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