Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a mosque.

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How do you catch a squirrel? Use a live, humane trap, and release it back into the wild afterwards.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Women's Rights

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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How much does a polar bear weigh? It depends on gender and environment, but a fully grown, adult, male polar bear weighs from 800 to 1600 pounds.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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A guy is playing cod

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Write your own

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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