How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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How did the fat man die? Clogged arteries leading to a heart attack.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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no u

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How did the happy clown die? Testicular Cancer.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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