How do Chinese people name their kids? The couple discuss possible names and then pick the one that they feel suits the child best.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the man buy a rope? Because he needed a noose

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what do you call a black person in a electronic store? a customer

thumb_up thumb_down -16

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

who farted? umm........that guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -16

i fondle myself every night....

thumb_up thumb_down -16

what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

thumb_up thumb_down -18

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man sees the doctor. "Doctor, if I hit myself on my head, it hurts, if I hit myself on my arm, it hurts, and if I hit myself on my leg, it hurts as well." "The case is clear. You need to f*ing stop hitting yourself!"

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

thumb_up thumb_down -32

What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down -62

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

thumb_up thumb_down -80

When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

thumb_up thumb_down -110

How did Little Jimmie leave school? In a body bag.

thumb_up thumb_down +77

1+1=3 If you don't use a condom.

thumb_up thumb_down +67

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

thumb_up thumb_down +61

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +61

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops