A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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boobs

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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