Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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3 men walk into a bar. The fourth one ducks.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A tree walks into a bar. But it is a dead tree so it actually didn't

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When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Teen pregnancy

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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A black man and a Mexican are hired as day laborers by a white man. The black man cleans the house while the Mexican mows and trims the yard. Both are hard-working and attempting to provide for their families in a down economy.

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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