Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

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How do you find a needle in a haystack? You don't, you're too distracted by the pile of adorable kittens next to it

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Whats orange and looks like an orange? An orange.

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Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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A man walked into a bar. He did this because he was blind and could not see the obstacle in his path.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

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Where did the 5 gay guys go? One direction

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Why cant i stand up? Cause i shat my pants

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Babies are like landmines; when you step on them they explode.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

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What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops