lewis bedford

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Hey are you from Tennessee, 'cause you have a very nice accent.

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A hot girl walks past a boy and the boy turns around and watches her pass. The girl sees the boy staring and asks with a slight attitude, "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied, "Well, I noticed you walking towards me and I couldn't help but think 'Hmm..she looks familiar. Have I seen her at school? No. Work? No. Somewhere else? Perhaps.' I then concluded that I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at. What are YOU looking at?"

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Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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Someone told me about this website.

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Why was Lucile crying? Because she was sad.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Jewish People

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why did the boy have no friends ? Because he lived in a small cottage miles away from any civilization with his overly strict parents who would not let him see the daylight and deprived him of any kind of childhood, he has no social skills and does not know how to interact with other human beings at no fault of his own. he is also dead

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What has four legs, its yellow with black spots, and can run as fast as a Cheetah? Another Cheetah

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Farmer Ned chased his chickens before they laid their eggs, because he likes his eggs scrambled.

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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