What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

What do you do when a guy pulls up in a van with piercings and a gay lisp, what do you do? Get in the van.

How do you make a baby cry? You throw a brick at it. How do you make it stop crying? You throw another brick at it.

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

What disease did the gay man get from his partner? Streptococcus!

What did the polar bear say to the penguin? Nothing. They don't live on the same continent.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Chuck Norris died.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Your worst nightmare!! Ohh.... Do come in it's raining outside.

So a Jew, a black guy, and a Mexican all walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey guys, what would you like?" They all get beer.

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

Why did the blind man commit suicide? Cause his wife was so ugly he went blind and become depressed a shot himself...twice.

What does does an elephant and a grape have in common? They are both grapes except for the elephant.

There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

A black guy and a Mexican were in a car. Who was Driving? The police

Robin, get in the car.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm.

What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

Amputations.

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? Peanut butter is a food paste made primarily from dry roasted peanuts, while jam is a product made with whole fruit, that is cut into pieces or crushed.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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