If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples how many pankackes can fit on the roof? Purple because alians do not wear hats./

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roses are red, violets are blue, my name is dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

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Whats brown and sticky? A peice of poo

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guess what what? nothing.

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Were do you find a dog with no legs ? Were you left him

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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A blonde is running for her life and sees a sign that says "GO LEFT TO SURVIVE". She goes right and she survives.

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I like turtoes.

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A dog walks into a bar and falls on his butt beacause dogs cant walk.

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children driving off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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What's the difference between a cow and a purple sweater? They're both purple Besides the cow

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Why did the pig fly cuz his wife is a bitch

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Why did the homeless man get skin cancer Because he didn't have a home so the Suns rays had been directed towards him For 3 years and he was to poor to purchase Sun screen

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Whats purple and fluffy? Purple Fluff

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Why couldnt Jimmy swing on the swing? because Jimmy's a fish

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did the lion say to the octopus? Nothing, lions can't talk, and even if they did the chances of a lion and octopus meeting are very slim.

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A white man, a black man and a muslim walk into a bar. The bar explodes, but the white man is the only one that dies, thanks to reasonable accommodations.

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How do you make a little girl cry? Throw a brick at her face.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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A man walked into the white house and security escorted him out because he didn't have a pass.

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What did the liberian man say to the kid he just spat on? You have ebola. and probably aids.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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