What is brown and sticky? A stick

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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A fish walks into a bar

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A gay man walks into a bar has a few drinks then goes home without being recognized as a homosexual.

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How are you supposed to breath with no air? um jorden sparks you dont?

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Nickelback

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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do you know what i see in the perfect girl? my dick.

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What did the parrot say to the cow? Moo

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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the jokes are repetitive on this site

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How did the lifegaurd break his leg? He was hit by a submarine!

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Why don't chickens where pants? Cause they're animals,duh.

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What do you call a black person that went to medical school? A doctor

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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How do you stop a skunk from smelling? Block its nose.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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One time a man cut off Chuck Norris while driving, and Chuck Norris kindly excused the man's lack of consideration for his fellow drivers.

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Why did the dyslexic man walk into the bra, he didn't he walked into a bar.

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A man is on his way home from a business trip and walks into his house. He is quite as to not wake up his wife or kids. He gets to the bedroom to find his wife in bed with the neighbor. He is shocked at what he came home to and decides to file for divorce. She was a stay at home mom and loses everything because of the divorce. The man woke up from his horrible nightmare and kissed his wife on the cheek. She has always been faithful. He decides to tell her about the dream and, for insurance, emphasizes the part where she loses everything in the divorce. They happily live out the rest of their lives together.

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How do you start up a good conversation? Wanna have a good conversation?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A Jew sits down next to a muslim at the bar. They great and discuss their day's events, they both order beers. Then they go home.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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