When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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A man walks into a bar and orders some grapes. The bartender says he does not have any grapes available. The man leaves.

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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Q: What does Osama Bin Laden's dead body and a sea sponge have in common? A: Nothing. One was buried in respectful accordance with Islamic law and the other is an animal of the phylum Porifera that's incapable of murdering thousands of innocent persons.

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A man walked into a bar...Ouch. He received a minor concussion from the impact of the cement wall of the building and a slight goose egg on his forehead.

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a couple argue and spend the night 96ing each other

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What's the only type of wood that doesn't float? Natalie wood.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

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How do you stop a run-away bus? You sit down in the driver's seat and gently place your foot on the brake pedular and proceed to press it down. The brake pads, located in the calipers, will squeeze the brake discs and slow the bus eventually to stop at the crosswalk for the old lady accompanied by a young boy scout to cross the street and continue their wonderful lives.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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A man came up to me and said," you suck" You know what I told him "YOU SUCK!"

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You know how geese fly in a V formation and sometimes one side is longer than the other. Do you know why that is? Because there are more geese on that side.

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2 scrubbers walk into a room , one says " can you you smell fresh-air spray"?

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A jew walks into an Oven....

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How many men does it take to change a light bulb? One.

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What was the pirate movie rated? PG-13 for violence and brief nudity.

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I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

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derp

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Q: Why does the blonde have the biggest tits in the third grade? A: Because she's 21

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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what do you call a muslim driving a plane? a pilot

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why couldn't the man rock climb? he didn't have hands

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops