A man walks in to a bar, the bartender asks "what will it be?" The man says i don't know, what will it be?"

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What did the cancer patient get for Christmas? Nothing, cause he didn't make it till Christmas...

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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A boy walks into a baker, asks for a loaf of bread. The baker enquires "White or brown?" to which the boy replies "It doesn't matter, I've got my bike."

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Fine then, its me Tifa, I am sorry for going against your ideology, I was trying to emulate and copy you, but yeah... Bad thing is that yeah I taught these concepts to a real shitload of people Nero, on the bright side, its not much compared to what you know. Sorry for being all rude, but thirty something? I mean I never seen your face nor even the color of your skin Mr Doctor Doom, but you always struck me as very, very old. I kinda appreciate you calling me the girl with the big red scared eyes, most people call me you know, most people never look me in the eyes, not that I really blame them.

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what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

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Feet

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Why does kelly keep going on about breasts ? cus shes into chicks !!!

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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What do you tell a 500 lb. Sumo wrestler who's eating your food? Stop eating my food.

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When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

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Roses are red violets are blue. I have amnesia so say hello to your nan when you get home

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Penis.

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whats better than sex? cookies

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What smells worse than a skunk? A dead skunk.

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How did Jesus walk on water? He was Jesus

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What did the anti-joke say to the joke? Your fly is down.

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What's the difference between 2 flies? Their DNA

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Why couldn't Ray Charles read? Because he was blind.

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Q: What's brown and sticky? A: A stick.

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What happens when you read every anti-joke on anti-joke? You spend a lot of time in front of a screen. This means you should have a 10-15 minute break, so that your sinuses can rest and you don't develop a headache.

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Why can't Micheal J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because there is no such person as Micheal J. Fox. Michael J. Fox, on the other hand, cannot draw a perfect circle because he has Parkinson's disease.

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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derp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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