What's the similarity between a plum and an elephant? Both are purple, except for the elephant.

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I'm Halarious.

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Q: What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? A: Nothing, they never met! :)

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What did Michael Jackson say to the little boy? Nothing.He's dead.

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what did the goat say to the shepherd? goats can't talk.

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Q. Why did the mother dissagree with her son's choice in friends? A. Because they were a rather bad influence on him and his grades had gotten considerably worse since they started to hang out.

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What did the tree say when it was cut down? Nothing, it's a tree

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Why did the woman scream when she saw her brother? Cause he was dead.

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What's the difference between a dog and a urologist? A dog is a domesticated canine, and a urologist studies urine.

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what do u get when you cross a kangaroo and an elephant a genetically disformed animal comes out who dies shortly after

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Q1: How do you get an elephant to laugh? A1: Tell it a joke. Q2: How do you get a cow to laugh? A2: Cows can't laugh.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Haiku's can be fun But they don't always make sense Refrigerator

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what do you call a man with blue eyes??? a man with blue eyes

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Some poems rhyme, But this one doesn't.

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What was the blind man doing at the movies? He was on a date.

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Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

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A man walks into a bar. He leaves the bar slightly intoxicated.

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Why did the man die in his office? Because a storm five miles away took down a power line that fell onto a truck igniting the fuel in it causing an explosion that started a forest fire that burned down another power line causing a spark to fly out of the man's phone and into his ear, killing him instantly.

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Two muffins were in the oven. One muffin goes "whoo! It's getting hot in here!" the other muffin goes "ahhh! A talking muffin!!!"

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What has three legs and bleeds? A cat with a cut off leg.

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Penis.

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Whats red, green, and goes 60 mph? A frog in a blender.

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why didnt the boys drink the coffee? because she coughed on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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