everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

thumb_up thumb_down +12

*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why did the bunny eat his food

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's red and green? A frog in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down +6

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

thumb_up thumb_down +6

How did the chicken cross the road? He went to the crosswalk so all the cars had to stop for him.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

American Idol

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

obama is a good president

thumb_up thumb_down +6

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What is red and invisible? No tomatoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: how do you get a man with one arm out of a tree? A: shoot him

thumb_up thumb_down +4

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops