Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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Black people are clen.

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If you are going down the road in your boat and the pedal falls off how many cheese burgers can you eat 21 because a motorcycle doesnt have doors.

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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Why did johnny fall down? He got hit in the head with a brick

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock Come in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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