a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

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What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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How do you know if you've been drinking too much? You find yourself in a closet screaming, "I'm in Narnia!!!"

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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Q:Why did the man rob the bank? A:He needed money.... duhhh -Ryan Vallee

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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what did the noob say to the gamer your a gamer nooob

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whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

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what do you do when you see a 40 ft tall gorilla? WHO CARES, RUN!

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What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

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96

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What has two feet and cant walk? a cripple

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a dragon walks into a bar. the bartender says "stop it". the dragon eats the bartender.

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I like my women like I like my coffee... Without a penis.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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