"hey" said an elephant to another elephant... "why can I talk?" the other elephan did not reply because it is normal and cannot speak or understand the first elephant. And a man near by thinks he's dreaming so he strips down and runs around naked to be tazed on his left testicle an the. Falls into the crocodile enclosure. But they pay no attention because they are docile after being in the zoo so long. But he did land on his balls and is crying.

thumb_up thumb_down -113

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

thumb_up thumb_down +76

your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

thumb_up thumb_down +64

What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

thumb_up thumb_down +46

Two gay guys go into a bedroom, in different houses at different times.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

thumb_up thumb_down +44

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did you say? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +38

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops