What lives underground? Grandpa

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Knock knock Come in!

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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Why did Susie fall off of the swing? She was hit by an asteroid.

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. It was in the oven

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An asian walks out of math class

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Poopsack Jones

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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