What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

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Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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The little mouse lifted the giant Elephant up so the Elephant could reach the bag of snacks, but then the Elephant said: I cant reach it, you must be tired so lets switch places... Squish: Squish! Elephant: Mouse! Where are you! *looks at "squish" NO! THIS WAS NOT THE WAY THE JOKE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE!!!!!!! Moral: Elephants cant talk...

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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