Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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2 muffins are in the oven. After about 15 minutes, they both died.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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The WNBA

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Get in the van

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What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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LOL i just pissed on Hitlers grave! Shoudn't killed the Jews BITCH!

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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