What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

What did you say? I don't know.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

A Mexican walks into a club.

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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