Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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What's big white and cant climb a tree? A refrigerator.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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