Why did the boy fall in the hole? He had no eyes

Whats big, brown and can jump really high... A kangaroo

Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she was born with the disorders of being blind and deaf. For any human, having blindness and deafness makes driving a near impossible task.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

Lets go Detroit Pistons!

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

the chicken whent boomand then died

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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