Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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A white guy, a mexican, and a terrorist each throw something out of airplane Then they realized it was a bad idea and karma gave them cancer because they may have hurt someone

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Dick! Dick who? Dick Stewart, your neighbor from next door!

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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potato farming

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Osama Bin Laden dies.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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I hate being bipolar, it's so awesome.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Two Jewish men walk into a butcher shop. They don't buy any pork because that is a fundamental dietary restriction placed upon by their religion.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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