Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

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What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was on his way to a friends house, after being kicked out yet again because his parents are homophobes and can't come to terms with his sexual preferences. When he got there, his friend was already asleep and he had to sleep in the gutter. He then got a cold and died because his immune system had been weakened by aids. His parents still didn't accept him, and didn't go to his funeral.

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Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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your mom is so old she was put in an old age home

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How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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If you're a man, why don't you want to drop the soap in prison? The shower floors are disgusting and carry bacteria. No way would any person -- man or woman -- want to touch it.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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How did the people get into the pyramid?? They didn't

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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