What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Roses are red Violets r blue My name is Dave Microwave

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

i hate you.

What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

A baby seal walks into a club...

a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

whats the difference between a black person , spook and a porchmoney.... there is none there all stupid stinky n-ag-ger-s

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

Justin Bieber

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

I like my coffee like I like my women Without a penis

Why did the chicken cross the road? He farted

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...