Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What did the frog say to the beautiful sleeping princess? Ribbit

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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Knock knock, Knock knock jokes aren't funny.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Whats white and cant fly an aeroplane? A fridge

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Hey

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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The chicken crossed the road and died. The end.

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d

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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