Knock Knock. Who's there? UPS.

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What is a bear's favorite televison show? It doesnt have one because it is a bear which makes watching television an illogical fallacy.

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Whats green and fuzzy, and if it falls out of a tree you'll die? A pool table.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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A man walks into a bar. He asks the bartender for a glass of milk. The bartender says, "Sorry we don't serve milk here.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Sea World Japan.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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Women's Basketball.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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