Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

What do you call a deaf person whom is behind the wheel of a car about to run off a cliff? ....

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

your mother is so lesbian

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

Q. What did the priest and the atler boy do in the back room of the church? A. Disscussed their feelings about the different meanings that could be derived from the daily scripture reading.

Fuck her

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're allergic to flowers So this poem will kill you

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

How do you make a mail man cry? Run him over with a forklift.

Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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