Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

American Idol

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

thumb_up thumb_down +5

That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"Roses are Red" "Violets are Blue" That's what they say, But it isn't true. Violets are violet, Now stop sniffing glue!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

whats worse then finding out your girlfriend cheated on you.. -9/11

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +5

The real Justin Beiber reallly followed me on twitter I deleted my account, set my computer on fire, scattered the ashes and killed myself

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So this is an anti-joke website, right?

thumb_up thumb_down +3

Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

thumb_up thumb_down +3

So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

http://www.fotokristall.narod.ru/mov0001.swf

thumb_up thumb_down +1

d

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I heard you let the cat out of the bag. It died.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

thumb_up thumb_down -1

So a baby seal walks into a club

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Two strangers are sitting at a bar having a drink. One is a young, fat, red-headed guy named Fred. The other is an elderly grey-haired man. After a while, Fred turns to the old man and awkwardly asks: "Excuse me sir would ya' mind givin me some advice? There's this girl who has sat next to me on the bus every morning for the past three months. She's the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. She always smiles and winks at me. I wannna ask her on a date but every time I go to do it I freeze. I just don't know what to say. I'm sorry to bother you, but I'm falling for this girl and I don't know what in the world to do. Any tips?" The old man continues to sit quietly, slowly sipping his drink. After a while the old man looks at Fred. "Hmmm" says the old man, as he thinks over Fred's question. "What is your name son?" He asks Fred. "It's Fred sir," replies Fred. "Hmmm," the old man says again as he continues to think over Fred's question. The old man then stands up, takes out a gun, and shoots Fred in the face. Fred never saw it coming.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock? Who's There? The Gestapo.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What flys? A fly

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red Violets are blue If I see another Joke like this (besides mine) I'll kill you

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops