When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

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a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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I ENJOY MASTURBATING

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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Q: how do you tame a dingo? A: Feed it babies

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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why couldn't the blonde change the light bulb? because he chose the wrong sized screwdriver from his tool box

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Knock Knock There's no door here, I'm right in front of you.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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