Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

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what is white and sticky? glue.

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women's lacrosse.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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2 blonds are driving on the road on their way to Disney Land. They come to the sign that says Disney Land left so they started crying, turned around and went home.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Black people are clen.

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What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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Patrick is gay

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2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

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What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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No, I don't have ADH...- Oh look, a butterfly!!

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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What did the dead baby say to his mother? Nothing. He's dead.

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Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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