What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

KEVIN HART

What did Gene give Carla for Christmas? AIDS

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

What lives underground? Grandpa

How do women learn to drive? Drivers ED.

Why did the man drop his glasses? His hand was sweaty.

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

Can I touch it?

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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