come along children

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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why did the baby cross the road? i stapled his head to a chicken!

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-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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whats gay ? you

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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