A man walks into a bar... And orders a drink

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Two men walked into a bar, the third followed close behind.

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Whats better than a panda? A panda with an ice cream cone.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Kenny G

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Little Timmy walked up to the teacher and asked her "Can i go to the restroom?" The teacher said " I don't know, CAN you ?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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What do you call a dog with three legs, is blind, and has terminal cancer? UnLucky

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She was shot Knock knock Who's there? Sally Aren't you dead? Oh yeah K Well imma go be dead now Have fun K

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Get your coat, I've got a knife.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Who ate the cookies? Your face. Litterally.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Why did Jack and Jill fall down the hill? Because they were donuts

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Drop a brick on her face.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Q: Whats worse than a dead baby in a bag? A: Please just make my hamburger.

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Why are Jews so tight with there money? They want to be finanically stable and provide a future for their familys.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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