A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Knock Knock. Shut up.

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

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shut up

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why is Justin beaber so white? Because his mother and father both are.

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How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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