what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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Doctor: “Knock Knock” Patient: “Who's there?” Doctor: “The interrupting Doctor” Patient: “The inter- Doctor: You have cancer.

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Penis in a box.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

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How many beans are in a soup? Who cares i'm starving, Lets Eat!!!

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Don't rape me!

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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A man. That is all.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Q.What is the bigest lie in the universe? A. I have read and agree the the Terms of Service.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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