What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What's the Capitol of Washington dc? W

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yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

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A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

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A bar walks into your mother.

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What did the anti-joke say? Nothing for it is an anti-joke which is a group of word formed to create a sentence and sentences cannot speak.

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Can I touch it?

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Why did Tommy cry? His tear glands emptied out of his eyes

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What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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What's a mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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Don't rape me!

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You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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