-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Can I touch it?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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balls in ya mouf

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Poopsack Jones

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a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops