- Anti Joke

A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

That's as _ as a __ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

women's lacrosse.

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

Why do cows have tails? Because my pet rock stopped breathing.

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

Why was Susie screaming profusely? Susie has autism.

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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