What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

Why did the cow go moo, because its a cow

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

A Mexican walks into a club.

Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

What is the difference between a Ferrari and a dead hooker? One is a car and one is a human being.

Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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