Two ducks are sitting in the bathtub. One asks, "Hey, can you please pass the soap?" The other responds, "Sure, if you pass the typewriter."

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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What's funnier than a dead baby? We'll.. Pretty much everything I can think of.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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Roses are red, Violets are blueish, Without Hitler, We'd all be Jewish.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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Patiant: Doctor Doctor i feel like a pair of curtains Doctor: ok Patiant: what shall i do ? Doctor: Go how and stop wasting my time

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why did the fox jump over the pen ? it was tuesday

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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What's a Mexican's favorite sport? It varies from person to person.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

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Your momma is SOO FAT that I had to call my doctor. He said you should go on a diet and exercise. I called my local gym and gave your mom a 3 months membership. Monday to Friday. Your welcome and good luck.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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