Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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A man is driving home from work. he realizes he left his suitcase back at the office. he turns around and drives back to the office. he walks in the office and grabs his suitcase, and as he's walking out he's stopped by his boss. his boss simply asks "what are you doing in the office at this time, Eric?" the man replies to his boss " sorry sir i was just grabbing my suitcase as i forgot to bring it as i was leaving work" his boss lets him pass " okay Eric, have a good night" the man get back in his car and drives home. but on his way home a pedestrian runs in front of the road. the man runs him over unintentionly. the man is jailed with manslaughter for 4 and a half years

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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