Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the car? This isn't a car

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have mental problems Doobah haga Blakatrabbit

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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What do you call a black guy in space? An astronaut

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whats black and yellow and makes you smile? a bus full of black people going off a cliff. do you shame is? there was three empty seats.

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If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Roses Are Red Lemons are sour, open up your legs and give me an hour

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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Women Drivers.

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A blond walked into a bar. A guy picked her up and then they had sex.

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69

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cms.......?????

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What did the black say when an asian knocked him out? Nothing, he was knocked out

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You wanna hear a clean joke? I took a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? I slipped in mud. Wanna hear an even dirtier joke? Bubbles is a guy..

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memes

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A man walks into the corner of a table and bruises his leg. The bruise continues to be there for about 3 weeks.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a park bench? The Mexican is alive and the park bench isn't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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