what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock It's open, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +13

This is not Will Smith.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

thumb_up thumb_down +13

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops