what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

Knock knock It's open, come in.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

Black people

This is not Will Smith.

husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

jewish people like other jewish people.

why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

Why did the man throw his alarm clock out the window? Because he has anger management issues.

One day three men died. Heaven had almost been full, and he wanted to see who could get in and who would burn. So the first man starts and says "well I just got home from my girlfriends house, she just dumped me. I was crazy mad, and as I was about to eat the pain away, I saw a man hanging off of my porch. I ran to the man pulled out a sledge hammer, and then smashed his hands off the balcony. And without thinking I picked up my refrigerator and threw it down at him. But sadly I fell with the refridgerator." the second man steps up and says.. "I was doing my dance routine on my porch, and I slipped on an ice cube and flipped off the rail. I took ahold of a railing on which I could puulmupmtomsaftey on, but as I was about to save my own life some psychotic man comes out with a sledge hammer and bashes my hands off the railing. After he threw his refridgerator down at me." and then the third guy says..."well I was in this refridgerator........."

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

Did you hear about Judith? she was hit by a bus!

What did the homosexual say to the purse walking down the street? - I'm a homosexual.

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

whats brown and black and sits in a tree...... a bird

What did the man tell his parents after having sex with another man? A. I am gay.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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