A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

thumb_up thumb_down +39

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

thumb_up thumb_down +37

A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

thumb_up thumb_down +35

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

thumb_up thumb_down +35

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down +35

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +33

what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Guy 1: there is this really funny knock knock joke. Ok you start. Guy 2: knock knock Guy 1: who's there Guy 2: umm what? I don't know

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

thumb_up thumb_down +31

How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops