Which one is hardest?

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

What do you call a man with no brain? dead.

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

Jokes are funny.

A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

boobs

Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

your momma is so stupid she failed math class

What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

Knock knock Who's there? What.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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