Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

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What's the most annoying thing in the world? Yourself. (Your friends are saying it too, behind your back)

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What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

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What do you call Obama? - the president

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What animal is green and eats a green rockeater? A green green rockeater eater. What animal is green and eats a green green rockeater eater? A frog.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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