how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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An octopus walks into a bar. The people in the bar, realizing the potential of danger, stand up and leave the bar quietly.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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What did the rape victim say to the rapist? "mmfff...mmm.....mmmmm"

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Black people

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Women's rights.

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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An asian walks out of math class

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balls in ya mouf

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-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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96

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Whats funnier than killing a black guy. Nothing, it's not funny.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

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I told my friend a joke. He didn't laugh, I asked why. He said he was autistic and he does not understand humor.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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