dead babies

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you keep a blond in sespence you dont tell her

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

thumb_up thumb_down +27

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's the difference between jelly and jam? A: Nothing Really

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

a black guy leaves prison

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Knock Knock. Shut up.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

guess what? chicken butt.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops