What did the robot do when a person was shot? Nothing, it wasn't programmed for that situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +33

???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +31

*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

25

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Do you know that car over there? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

A plane crashes on the border of the United States and Canada. Where do they bury the survivors? Why would they bury the survivors? THEY'RE ALIVE

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call Obama? - the president

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops