What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

i heart wiener

How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

knock knock Come in.

A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

Get in the van

What does a bug do in a telephone booth? Eats yogurt.

What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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