Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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your face!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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I love Ciara!

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

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A bar walks into a bar, it is then you realize you are in an alternate dimension.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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