Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

A Mexican walks into a club.

What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

the chicken whent boomand then died

How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

i like my women like i like my coffee...big boobs

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

Q: What happens when you throw a green rock in the Red Sea? A: It gets wet.

-How do you pull a prank on Helen Keller? -Stick a plunger in the toilet!

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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