A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

KEVIN HART

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +20

How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

You are the weakest link. Goodbye.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops