Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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Women's rights.

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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The procrastinators association meeting has been postponed. - Anonymous

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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American Idol

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What's red and green? A frog in a blender

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Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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