Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Hey

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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ollie is a fag so are you

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Y2K

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what is brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre

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Situation: A bear is cutting a sunflower's hair Question: How many kangaroos does it take to do surgery on a meatball? Answer: Tomato. Because zebras eat twelve kiwis in a factory every February 29th.

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-What's the difference between a frog? - it jumps higher.

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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