Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

the chicken whent boomand then died

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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