guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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hi

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Fuzzy Wuzzy was a bear Fuzzy Wuzzy had no hair because he had cancer

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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how do you stop a speeding car? Put your foot on the brake

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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