what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Water, please.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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I love Ciara!

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Which one is hardest?

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms ... Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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When was Timothy born? He wasn't.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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