A Jew, a Muslim, and a homosexual jump from a cliff to see who gets to the bottom first. Who wins? Society.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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So this guy tells me he hasn't had a bite in weeks. So i bought him lunch.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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Jokes are funny.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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GONNA

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Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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come along children

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Why did the girl fall off of the swing? They threw a fridge at her.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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