What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

the chicken whent boomand then died

"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

A man walks into a bar. Several hours later he staggers out and drives into an oncoming school bus, killing all occupants. He survives to live with the grief for the rest of his life and attempts to commit suicide several times.

Why did little susie fall off the swing? because she had no arms. Knock knock who's there? not susie

What's the difference between a Jew and a black person? Black people are good at running.

What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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