milly, milly, milly, cat

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What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? They're all gone!

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Water, please.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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I love Ciara!

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Which one is hardest?

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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Why do black people eat so much fried chicken? Because it's delicious!

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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A cat fell out of a really tall tree. It didn't land on its feet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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