Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What has 14 eyes, 14 legs, 70 toes and 7 noses... 7 people.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Women's rights.

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sweaty black guy

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Your mama is so stupid she had to go back to school to get her GED in order to get a job that could properly support her family.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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96

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What do u call a black pope? A poooooopppp!

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Women's rights.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

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Knock Knock. Come in. -mattobrado

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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