Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Chuck Norris died.

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NEVER

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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Duncan Traywick is hilarious.

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Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

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Real jokes.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up.

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Penis in a box.

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What did the black kid get for christmas? Nothing, he doesn't celebrate christmas

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He removes the piece of lingerie from his face and continues shopping for clothes.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Roses are black Violets are black Everything is black Because I'm blind

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what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Black people

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a watermelon? I don't cum on my watermelon before I eat it.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Why do women fake orgasms? Because they want to give men the impression that they have climaxed.

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husband : honey , can i have stuff candy wife : no husband : can i have milk and cookies wife : what kind of milk wink wink husband 2% you pervert

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why did hannibal lector butter up the teacher? he wanted to get a good grade. he also wanted to eat her

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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