*Knock Knock* Who's there? Nobody. Go make some friends.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Do you know that car over there? No.

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Q. How do you kill a fish A. You don't have to BP already did

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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