When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

thumb_up thumb_down +17

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Black people

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

thumb_up thumb_down +15

two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

thumb_up thumb_down +15

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +13

why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

thumb_up thumb_down +13

It's your mother, open the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

AVI IS A FAG

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops