When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

how did the horse fall into the river? he sliped

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why can't Hank swim? Hank is a rock

thumb_up thumb_down +29

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Knock knock. Who's there? *gun shot*

thumb_up thumb_down +27

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

DONALD TRUMP DIES

thumb_up thumb_down +27

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What did the moose say to the hunter? I don't know, what? Nothing, a moose is an animal therefore it can't say anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

thumb_up thumb_down +27

25

thumb_up thumb_down +27

how do you reunite the beatles 2 bullets

thumb_up thumb_down +27

yo mama so fat, she wheres glasses to see better!

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +25

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the mute say to the deaf man? Nothing. He's a mute.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops