What do you call a douche with no arms or legs? A device for washing out the vagina as a contraceptive measure.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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KEVIN HART

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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abcdHIV this disease is killing me

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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What happened to the black man when his alarm went off? He got up and took a shower. Then he got dressed and went to church because it was Sunday.

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how do you make coffee you put it in a mug

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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