Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

i hate you.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Your mom is so fat, when she sat on a lump of coal she didn't realize she sat on a lump of coal.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +29

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

thumb_up thumb_down +27

2 gingers went to a pumpkin patch... And nobody ever found them( life lesson, don't take your ginger to a pumpkin patch)

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +27

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Haiku's Are Easy. But Don't Always Make Much Sense. Refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops