What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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womens rights!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

I've got the moobs like jagger.

Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

World peace

Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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