What's black, over twelve inches long, and has a hard time fitting in tight spaces? my double stroller.

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wait am i supposed to right the joke down here

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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Im gonna Rape that Liberato kid you was talking about, ALL UP THE ASS i will find him.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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A horse walks into a bar and orders a drink, the bartender says nothing. He was a mute.

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What's the difference between a Jew and Hitler? Well, I asked you so I don't know why you said "what?".

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I am a whore, Let's have sex.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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- Knock Knock. - Who's there? - You're coming with me.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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