whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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What's worse than throwing 8 babies off a cliff? Throwing 1 baby off a cliff.

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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Why did the Koala fall out of the tree? Cause it was dead. Why did the second Koala fall off the tree? Cause it was also dead. Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? It thought the other two were playing a game. Why did the motorcyclist end up in the hospital? He was attacked by falling Koalas!

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Freddie Mercurys teeth

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Billy: Mom.... Dad, I have decided that I want to live on my own. Parents: Great son! We're so proud of you! Billy: Thanks for your support! Your luggage is outside by the taxi.

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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What's funnier than a midget bungie jumping? Nothing

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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What do you get when you cross a lion with a rhinoceros? A trip to the hospital and animal cruelty charges.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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