What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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hi

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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Why did the blonde buy a condom? Because she had a penis.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Why was the little kid bullied? Because his name was Hugh Jass.

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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whats the differnce between a baby and a dart board? dart boards dont bleed.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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There once was a rich man who owned a really big mansion, he's a very organised man and likes routine, every day at 6.30pm he goes for an hour long jog. One day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his mansion is on fire and he can see a little orange man running away in the distance. But he thinks nothing of it. The man has lost a lot of money, but can still afford to move into a slighty smaller, yet still very large house. The next day he goes out for his jog and when he gets back his big house is on fire and again, he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it, but has now lost even more money, and has to move into a regular size house. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his house is on fire and again he sees the little orange man running away in the distance. He thinks nothing of it and has lost even more money. He is really gutted by this point and now has to move into a single bedroom flat. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his flat is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He still thinks nothing of it and has now lost all his money, and has to move into a cardboard box under a bridge. The next day he goes out for his jog, when he gets back his cardboard box is on fire and again he sees a little orange man running away in the distance. He is sick of this and decides to chase the little orange man. When he catches him he tackles him to the ground, turns him over and asks.. did you burn down my mansion, my big house, my average sized house, my flat, and my box? The little orange man replies no.

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Stop being racist!Be a panda. They are black white and asian!!!!

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69

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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