One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man attempts to sign in to PlayStation Network... And succeeds, proceeding to enjoy the console's numerous award winning exclusive titles such as LittleBigPlanet and Uncharted 2, along with utilizing the system's Blu Ray capabilities and playing with his friends online in an absolutely free network, on what many consider to be the superior console to the Xbox 360.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Get in the van

thumb_up thumb_down -24

I love my new microwave. It comes with a list that tells just how long to cook things. Now i know how long to cook a baby for

thumb_up thumb_down -24

BUTTERFARTING

thumb_up thumb_down -26

My mom's dead

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she gets tired after one try and has to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down -44

Three men are on a plane*. (*Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees a woman hysterically laughing. Intrigued, he inquires her jolly. She manages to state through her hysteria, "When me fart, me whole house blow up!"

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -52

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

Where does a leper go every Monday and Wednesday? The dermatologist.

thumb_up thumb_down +75

Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

thumb_up thumb_down +57

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

thumb_up thumb_down +51

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +49

roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

thumb_up thumb_down +43

How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops