I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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A Fish walks into a bar. It died of oxygen starvation.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Women's Basketball.

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Whats worse than HIV? AIDS

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to a chicken

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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I don't often drink beer. But when I do, I recklessly beat my wife and kids.

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here's a great way to ruin someone's 'knock knock' joke: Knock knock Come in!

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Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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A man is walking down the street when, on the other side, he see's another man, with what appears to be an orange for a head. Unable to contain his curiosity, he approaches and enquires: "Excuse me, but I couldn't help noticing that you have you have an orange for a head..." "That's right" says the man with an orange for a head. "I met a magical genie one day who granted me three wishes..." "Amazing" says the first man, "Please continue". "Well, for my first wish, I wished I was incredibly rich, and that every day, I woke up in a four-poster bed full of used bank notes, and a statement with twenty zeros". "Did that happen?" askes the first man. "It did indeed", replies the man with an orange for a head. "I'm probably the richest man in the world". "Amazing!" replies the first man. "What did you wish for next?" "For my second wish, I wished to be incredibly attractive to women, and that every day, in my four poster bed full of money, when I awoke, there would be three of the most beautiful, naked women imaginable." "Wow! Did THAT happen?" "Of course! To be honest though, that gets a bit of a bind - walking around is a bit difficult these days, in fact, I'm on my way to pick up some cream." "No way, that's amazing!" says the first man. "What was your third wish?" "Well..." replies the man with an orange for a head, "For my third wish, I wished I had an orange for a head."

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What did Batman say to Robin before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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Q: A black person and a white person decided to have a race, who won? A: The black person, as he exercised and worked out on a regular basis, making him very fast.

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Justin Bieber

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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