How many Jehovah's Witnesses does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to firmly hold the ladder and the other to cautiously screw it in. They are volunteering at the local orphanage and it is wrong to make fun of there religion. We are all different in our own special way.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Time flies like a banana.

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Hey Caleb.

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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What do you call a black person trying to swim? Wet.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

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Hey what time is it. 3:15

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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Roses are red, Violet are blue, SURPRISE!!! Im about to rape you.

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What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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