whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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Roses are red Vilots are blue God made people pretty What the happend to you

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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how do you get a emo kid out of a tree? cut him down get it: because he was depressed and so poor that he couldn't afford a hair cut or new clothes. he also had single mother whose boyfriend sexually abused him so he was confused about his sexuality. Then people just called him "emo" and said he was acting out so they ignored him and he never gave him help when he asked for it because they said he just wanted attention so he killed himself

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Roses are green Violets are green I'm colour blind Everything is green

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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Q: Why did the paraplegic go to the gym? A: to watch his friend work out

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Once upon a time there was a prince and a princess. They married as was the social custom of the time, and produced a series of children whose purpose was to sustain the royal bloodline for many years to come. AF

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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My mom's dead

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How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

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Canada's army

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What's more dangerous than bungee jumping without a rope? Getting into a car with Ben Colbert.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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