What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

What did the cat say when it jumped into the cardboard box? Meow

Dozer has a soul

How are a plum and a rabbit alike? Theyre both purple except for the rabbit.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Knock knock! Who's there? Boo. Oh hey man, you got the meth?

What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

Why can't Tommy the T-Rex clap? Because dinosaurs have been extinct for 65 Million years.

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

Why is the little boy crying on the side of the street? He fell and skinned his knee.

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

how do you kill a mexican? make him go to the cicus

Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

Do yo know what a decasexual is? A decasexual, as defined on various websites, is somebody who has strong physical attractions to male humans, female humans, male animals, female animals, sounds, smells, tastes, feelings, movements and objects. The term decasexual derives from the latin language, meaning "ten sexualities". Decasexuals exist everywhere.

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

your momma's an antijoke

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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