I don't always drink beer, but when I do, I drink water!

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

shut up

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

Your mom is so ugly that your father married her because of emotional, spiritual, and intellectual compatibility, not because of sexual attraction.

Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

My friend may look like a circle but..... ......He's actually a square.......

Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Why couldn't the black man get home? His car broke down, and Goodyear was closed.

What do u call a black guy that sell drugs? A nigger

"did you hear about the midget's self-murder?" "No, what happend?" "He jumped off the curb"

Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

A man is walking alone in a park and stumbles upon a lamp. He rubs the lamp and a genie appears out of thin air. The genie tells him he has three wishes to wish for whatever his heart desires. The man naturally wishes for Anthony Davis to shave his damn unibrow. He then throws the lamp at a little boys face and laughs uncontrollably.

why do girls like 77? ................ ...................... ................. ...................... ................ becuz they get 8 more :P

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...