Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

What did Bill go for his birthday? No where someone slashed his tires.

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

the chicken whent boomand then died

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

Once you go black you may be more open to dating a second black person.

Q. What is brown and sticky? A. Creosote.

A man walks into a bar, then he realized he didn't have any money, so he walked out.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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