What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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-Knock Knock -Whos there? -The police -OH SHIT

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What did batman say to robin before they got in the car? Get in the car.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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The chicken came before the egg. Because eggs are an unborn chicken, and it is impossible for an unborn chicken to ejaculate.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How do you have sex with an amputee? stick it in the eyes

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What do you call a fat legless over weight black man called Tom. Tom.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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