what's funnier than the holocaust? 2 holocausts and 9/11

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Why did Dave not hug his wife? Because she looked horrifying from the Iraq war.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

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25

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A Mexican walked away from a construction site.

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What's the fastest animal on earth? An Ethiopian chicken.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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a banana

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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how do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Brian Singmaster. Look him up, he's cute.

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A boy walks into a haunted cematery. Zombies eat him.

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Why did an abusive childhood affect the little boy's behavior? Beats me.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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How do you make a small fortune? Be financially smart, work hard, save money, all while you make sure you don't let your earnings become a "large" fortune.

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why did the chicken cross the road? why do you care?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops