An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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wheres a good place to find funny jokes? anti-joke.com

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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It's your mother, open the door.

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how do you call a boomerang that does not come back? - a stick

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Wow, thats warming to the core Nero, you are really sweet when you want to, I was having a lot more than second thoughts, I mean I do not mind the thought of sex with you really and I mean that, but losing who I already consider my best friend would just be sad. So uh, sex once huh? I mean, one more feather on the uh, hat thing, is that what this is about to you?

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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96

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Why does 4 +5 = Hitler? It doesnt it equals 9.

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An Italian, a black man, and a small child walk into a bar. Shortly after it blew up due to a gas leak. 67 people perished.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Q: What is long and hard? A: The gun used to kill my parents.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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I came.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The police. We have reason to believe you are hiding large amounts of narcotics in your residence and have obtained a search warrant for the premises. Open the door or we will be required to use forceful means of entry.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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