two fish are in a tank.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

So a man was walking down the street with bananas in his ears when he saw one of his friends coming the other way. When they met up the one friend asked, "Hey you know you've got bananas in your ears?" To which the man replied "What? I can't hear you, I have bananas in my ears."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

28

thumb_up thumb_down +6

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

thumb_up thumb_down +6

9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why does a ginger have no friends? Because it is a non sentient horizontal stem and thus incapable of forming complex social and emotional bonds with conscious organisms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

American healthcare.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Dallas Cowboys

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What do you not want to get when playing scrabble? Diarrhea

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the deer say to the hunter? Deers are animals, they haven't yet evolved enough to talk..

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Laura Pratz..

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why couldn't the little boy see anything? It was dark outside.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Teacher:What is the outer layer of a tree? Dog:Bark. Teacher: What is the square root of 69? Dog:8.30662386

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What is Chuck Norris's favorite musical theme? Tanana na na naa naa na, ta ta ta tanana na naa na ta na na.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What happened when Timmy divided by zero? A: He got a syntax error.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Two business men, a priest and three boys are on a plane which is going down. There are only three parachutes. One business man says that they should allow the children to have the parachutes as they have long lives ahead of them. The other business man says screw the children. The priest looks up at the second business man. After a short but heated argument they all agree to let the children have the parachutes. The three children then proceed to jump out of the plane with the parachutes. The two business men and the priest watch as they descend upon the earth. The plane then crashes into a mountain, killing the business men and the priest. Once the boys were safely on land they went back to their daily lives in their individual homes. Turns out a serial killer had escaped from prison, all three children were found dead the next morning, the cause of death of course being that each had contracted some form of a sexually transmitted disease from the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man with AIDS walks into a bar, what does he say? I have AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock whos there a duck a duck who QUACK!

thumb_up thumb_down

Hi poop!

thumb_up thumb_down

What does a person that is fasting get for Christmas? Food.

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops