Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

thumb_up thumb_down +20

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Penis in a box.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Fuck her

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

One time I was playing hide and seek with grandma but I couldn't seem to find her. I asked my sister for help and she told me she was hiding in the living room on the shelf. I went into the living room but all I saw was a vase on the shelf. Grandma probably didn't know the game was over so I opened the vase to tell her. To this day she hasn't come out of the vase.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What did the black man say when he received cold fried chicken at a restaurant? He very politely asked for it to be warmed up, and exuded nothing but elegance and class.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, it got hit by a car.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

thumb_up thumb_down +10

why couldnt helen keller drive? because shes a woman.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops