Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

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Avery has crabs.

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Penis jokes.

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Your momma is so boss that I work for her.

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An asian walks out of math class

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Two friends not to far apart: A: Hey you, you hear me?! B: yes. A: You hear me?! B: yes!! A: You hear me?! B: yes, yes, what!?! A: You hear me?! B: YEEEEEEEES WHAT'S going on?!?! (gets upset) A: Nothing, I'm just checking your hearing.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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How do you get your wife to stop nagging? chop off her head

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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