If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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memes

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

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a little girl gets raped

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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