What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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What do you get when you mix red and yellow? Orange.

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My butt!!!!

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Dan O'Driscoll

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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i heart wiener

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knock knock Come in.

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Canada's army

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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how does a zookeeper build a snowman. same as everyone else

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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but there is a road to the super market

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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