What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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It's kind of hard to die when you're in a freezer.

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A simple math problem. If 10% of men are gay, and 20% of men are chinese what is the probability that a man chosen at random spends his free time and meal time both on his knees?

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I used to be an adventurer like you, Until I lost both my arms.

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What does the black guy say to his black friend? "I like Watermelon, Grape Drink, and Fried Chicken.

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What does a tree do all day? Boredom

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Why did OJ SImpson never get convicted of murder? Because after going to court and proving his innocence a jury of twelve people found him not guilty.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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When Jesus came back from the dead the first thing he said was "It was just a prank bro!"

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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