Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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