How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

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Mitt Romney for president.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak.

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What's white and sticky? Glue

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A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

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Don't rape me!

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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sweaty black guy

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? It's Bob. Oh hi, Bob, come on in.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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