A gorilla walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a glass of celery. The bartender stands speechless due to the ridiculousness of the given situation.

I jacked off over a blind girl the other day, she never saw me coming

what do you a call quadriplegic man in a pile of leaves? Rustle

Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt a black guy ate him.

I friended Paul Walker on Xbox, but he's always in the Dashboard.

A woman comes home and finds her husband with another woman. Their marriage collapses and the husband goes on to marry the other woman and his ex-wife commits suicide.

What's the difference between a bagpipe and an onion? No one cries when you cut up a bagpipe. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

Knock. Knock. Who's There? Its Jim, is Craig home? No he moved out sorry.

Horse tits

What's worse then the holocaust? Sphagetti trousers of mordor

Knock knock. Who's there? To get the other side!

Chuck Norris was a famous actor that starred in Walker, Texas Ranger and Missing in Action. He is a normal person, just like you and me.

Your mama's so fat she's going on weight-watchers to pursue a healthier lifestyle and avoid the longterm effects of obesity.

Penis.

Why was the woman crying I kick her in the ass really really really hard... With steal toe boots... That had a spike on them... That was biped in poison... And man did she scream.

When life gives you lemons... you probably just found lemons...

Why can't Tom go horse back riding? He is paralized from the neck down

What's worse than sitting in a car that's steered by a woman? Sitting in an airplane steered by a suicidal pilot.

what did batman day to robin? get in the car robin.

Your Mother is so kind that when I see her I say hello and ask her how she has been

whats better than sex? cookies

Knock knock. Who's? There Where? Right here.

yo mamas like a spider always getting wrapped up in her own cu*

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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