-Knock Knock -Who is it? -Your father, i forgot my keys.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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why was the girl in the corner with a knife? she's an emo

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What's has 4 wheels But ain't a blue car A red car

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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So this is an anti-joke website, right?

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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