man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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Jokes are funny.

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How do you get a baby to stop crying You kill it

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How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

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GONNA

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roses are red, violets are blue, I talk to myself, and so do it I.

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How do you find Nemo? Watch the movie.

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Why was the woman convicted or arson? She set her house on fire. Why did she set her house on fire? Her husband was beating her.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane. A pilot

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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69

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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