there were 2 sausages in a frying pan. One sausage says it sure is hot in here. The other one says WTF a talking sausage!

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Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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your mom is so old that she farts dust.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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Get in the van

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Canada's army

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye-patch? Names.

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What is the difference between your mother and a hooker? Gonorrhea and her father's approval.

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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What's the difference between a bunch of slaves and a porsche? A: i don't have porsche in my basement

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Why do you put a baby in the blender but first? To see the facial expressions

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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