What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

how does peploe get around they walk

How many Jews can fit in a VW Beetle? 2 in the front, 3 in the back, and maybe one in the trunk, but that wouldn't be very comfortable.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

Avery has crabs.

Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

What's white and sticky? Glue

what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

A man, a woman, and their son were happily going out for a nice family dinner. The family they ate wasn't so happy.

What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

balls in ya mouf

a

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

a man walks into a bar..... the man pulls out a gun and robs the place as he is exiting he bumps into a child the child falls in the street and is crushed by a bus. the bus in an attempt to avoid the child swerves and hits a maternity clinic next to a gas station that promptly explodes. the robber so distraught he trys to shoot himself but the gun misfired and the man was arrested and was raped repeatedly in prison...he now has aids...

Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...