How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it says 300 lbs.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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I love Ciara!

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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What did the bubble do to the wall? Nothing it is a Bubble.

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What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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