What is worse than being ran over by a bus? Nothing really.

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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???????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? ????????????????????????????? I cant make a good joke.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What do you call a disabled Jew? His name

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Why couldn't the women drive? She was dead

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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knock knock who's there a black person SHIT!!!!

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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