why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

thumb_up thumb_down +28

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +28

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

thumb_up thumb_down +26

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. Your family is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Your mama's so fat, that during her last physical checkup, her attending physician informed her that it would be in her best interest to lose some weight before any serious medical conditions arose that would adversely affect her health and well being in a chronic fashion.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +22

"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

how do you know that harry potter isnt real a ginger has two freinds

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Tacos

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops