Why did the fat guy sit on another guy? They were in a wrestling match.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, sauce on apples.

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What happens if Pinoccio says my nose is about to grow?

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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where do cows go on dates? the slaughter house

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What is funnier than dead babies? Dead babies aren't funny, Carlos Mencia and Tom Bergeron are funny.

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When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

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That's why her hair is so big, she teases it and uses a lot of expensive products.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? 6 cheated on 7 with 9.. 6 is now a victim of domestic violence.

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hi ....................... oh i thought this was a chat room !!!!!!!

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how long does it take a black woman to shit? 3 to 5 minutes depending on the food she ingested earlier that day

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A burglar broke into a house one night. He picked up a CD player to place in his sack and a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark, saying, "Jesus is watching you." He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off, and froze. When he heard nothing more, he shook his head, clicked the light on, and began searching for more valuables. Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires, he heard, "Jesus is watching you." Freaked out, he shined his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice. Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot. "Did you say that?" he hissed at the parrot "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who in the world are you?" "Moses," replied the bird. "Moses?" the burglar laughed. "What kind of people would name a bird Moses?" "Devout Semites," the parrot replied.

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A Priest and a Rabbi pass a Muslim boy sleeping on the street. The Priest remarks "What a tragedy"; the Rabbi agrees and they both open non-denominational homeless shelters in their temples.

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tänk om jag inte vill läga upp en ny

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What's the difference between a horse? All legs are of equal length, especially the left one.

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What do you call a Jew picking up a quarter? Whatever his name is?

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How many black men does it take to change a light bulb? Just one, you racist.

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Your Momma is so old, she started exercising more and eating healthier to increase the chance of her living long enough to enjoy your own children's lives.

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whats the difference between jimmy saville and a horse? jimmy has a bigger cock

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Ask me if I am a bus. Are you a bus? No.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What do you call a black man with a group of 5 white guys? Friends. What do you call a white guy with 5 black guys? a diffrent ratio of black and white friends.

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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A pregnant women walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender denies her service because she is under the legal age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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