What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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What comes after 69? Mouthwash

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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Why did the little boy die? Because he had cancer.

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69

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Black people are clen.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Why did the dog bark? Who knows, dogs bark for many reasons unknown to humans.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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