What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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What's brown and sticky? -A stick.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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GONNA

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a boy walked into a pet store to get his bird some food. they were all out. the bird died.

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Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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what do you call a black guy in a cop car a cop

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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Q: How do you fit a giraffe inside a refrigerator? A: You can't, it is physically impossible...

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

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What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops