An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

If you want to paint a wall red, what is the fastest way to paint it with a crying baby? The baby will get very annoying and delay your wall from being painted so you put it in its crib in another room until you are done.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Jokes are funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

hi

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the apple tree say to the farmer? Well! since trees nor apples have the ability to talk I would say the apple tree said nothing. And if the farmer thinks it did say something he should visit the doctors to check his hearing. The End.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was poor justin killed His mother kicked him into a pool of blood-thirsty aligators.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Why did the woman drop her baby? she had a stroke.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

thumb_up thumb_down +35

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

thumb_up thumb_down +35

A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's red and round? A red and round solid.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops