A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?", laughs at his own joke, then calls animal control.

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What did the say to the host of the pool party after he pooped? Mr. TImmons! There is chocolate in the pool!

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What's grosser than gross? Grosser. What's grosser than that? Grossest.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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This desk is two chromebooks wide. It will be one once I push yours off.

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Why are girls large and round? Because they are raised by wild packs of oompa loompas.

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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Get in the van

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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Hitler is my role model

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A man walks into the bar, goes up to the bar tender and says "exuse me, please could I have a pint of bitter" the bartender says "sure"

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how do you get a chicken to sleep you slit it"s neck,and feed the body to your pet tiger

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World Of Warcraft

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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How many ADD kids dose it take to screw in a light bulb? one; the attention deficit disorder dose not take away the ability too screw in a light bulb.

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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What did the husband tell his obese wife? I love you honey

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What did the blind, deaf rabbit get for Easter? . . . Eaten by a by a lion.

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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