a little girl gets raped

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

jewish people like other jewish people.

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

Last night I saw an elephant in my pajamas. I don't know why I went to the zoo in my pajamas.

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

Then there was that caveman that ordered a whiskey on the rocks...

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

Tacos

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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