Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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hi

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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Q: Whats the difference between a baby and a watermelon A: Ones fun to beat with a sledgehammer, the other ones a watermelon

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Q. WHAT IS SPECIAL ABOUT GEORGE BUSH? A. NOTHING

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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whats the hardest part of the vegetable to eat? the wheelchair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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