What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

thumb_up thumb_down +19

jewish people like other jewish people.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

thumb_up thumb_down +15

a priest a rabbi and a minister all walk into a bar and the bartender says "is this a joke?"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

-Knock, Knock -Who's there? -Granny -You don't sound like Granny... -Just let me in little boy. -MOM!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hollywood presents: "HELP US MARIO! THE WORLD IS BEING OVERWHELMED BY KOOPA AND HIS FORCES OF TURTLES!" "What the hell do you want me to do? I am a damn plumber, squish them? Besides they are just turtles" "Oh yeah..." Steven Spielberg: Get bay on this script, at least its much better than the first one.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the tortoise beat the hare. The tortoise had carcinoma thyroid cancer in the renal pelvis uterur.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Hey

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A duck walked up to the lemonade stand and he said the the man running the stand hey ba ba ba got any grapes? the man said no but i got some shut the F*CK up!

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What would we do with out women? Die and then become extinct

thumb_up thumb_down +7

i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

thumb_up thumb_down +5

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

thumb_up thumb_down +3

How do you make a girl happy then sad within 5 seconds? Buy her a pony and then shoot it

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Q:Waht did the blind deaf kid get for chrismas? A: Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How come Jimmy didn't take his math test? Dead babies can't take math tests!

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops