When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

thumb_up thumb_down +19

whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

I LIKE TURLES.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Mmmmmmm Lemons

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you kill one Jew. A gun. How do you kill a thousand Jews. With a millon angery germans.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

abcdHIV this disease is killing me

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Oh, I must be hearing things.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops