Roses are red. Voilets are blue I'm Morgan Freeman and I CAN SMELL YOU...

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Get in the van

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Water, please.

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Do you know what's funny? Retarded people.

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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Which one is hardest?

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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How do you get a blonde to drown herself? Isolate her in an aqueous environment

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops