What did Helen Keller get at the store? Glasses

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haiku's are stupid, and do not always make sense, refrigerator.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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Thumbs this up

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What did the man do when he saw the dog? Ran it over

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How many feminist does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Two. One to screw it in, the other to suck a dick.

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Why did Joseph kick the pig in the face? He though it'd be funny.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Justin Bieber

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What does Obama and Darth Vader Have in Common? Nothing. Darth Vader is not a real person and thus cannot be compared to the president of the UNited States.

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You know what's funny about table salt? Not much.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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why did the boy hug a very dislexic man it was his brother

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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