"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Hey

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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