One day I was walking in the forest when I saw a squirrel get hit by a van. It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Justin Bieber

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what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because-- ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????? ??????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ??????????????????????????????? ???????????????????????????????

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Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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Women

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If you say gullible over and over again, it sounds like stupidity.

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Rebecca Black.

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Jokes are funny.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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