If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Time flies like a banana.

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shut up

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whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what happened to the chicken that crossed the road? it got hit by a taco truck

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96

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Why are white people typically not as good at basketball as black people? They don't have the hard work and dedication as those who are better.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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one day tiarnan got banged by a goat

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What's worse than a woman driver? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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