What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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You're mom is so slutty, she has sex with many men.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have a gun, shut the **** up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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