Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

What's 1+1? 4.

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

why did a latino decide to eat green apple? i don't know that's what i'm asking

Lets go Detroit Pistons!

Wanna hear a joke? No.

What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

Jokes are funny.

why did bully fall of his bike He was eaten by a fridge

What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

Go figure, you seemed pretty fucking scared of me back then. "autocast" hypnotic priming, anchors, you know what that is right? You for (as an example) clap your hands whenever you succeed at hypnotizing yourself while staying awake in a lucid state, then you repeat it until you one day just clap, your body remembers the whole sequence and boom it works right away. You did not think that PaulMcKenna could just touch people and have them do what he wants without even telling them what to do right? Especially not McKenna, I learned a lot from Richard Bandler, absolutely nothing from Anthony Robbins, everything I could ever want from Igor Ledochowsky, and absolutely nothing from PaulMcKenna, I went to him last, I should have skipped Both Robbins and Kenna, they use NLP and... Basically call it hypnosis.

come along children

when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

How many pumpkins can you fit in a watch? Depends how much jelly is in the pumpkins

If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

Roses are brown. Violets are brown. It's the middle of winter. Flowers look like poop.

If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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