A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7,8,9! (Also it killed his family and nuked his country too)

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A black man, a hispanic man, and an asian man all walk into a biker bar. The bartender asks them if they know that this is a biker bar. All three say yes and tell the bartender that they are in the same motorcycle club. The bartender serves them a beer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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A polish, english and african man each were standing on a skyscraper. The african man jumped and died. The polish and enlgish men called 999.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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My sister has to take a dump

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man: honey im home woman: john im pregnant man: but i have a low sperm count! this is a miracle! woman: its not your baby its steves from the store man:but he's mexican! woman: i know.....i need an abortion. {lol racism}

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Two drums and a cymbal fall down a cliff. Ba-dum pssh.

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Whats the difference between pizza and Jews Pizzas dont scream when their put in the oven

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Why don't they sell pharmaceuticals in the rain forest? Because it is to sparsely populated and not economically viable.

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"Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Your landlord, clear out your stuff by tuesday"

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GONNA

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops