Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Pirate ships are used by pirates.

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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What's white and comes out of a long black stick? Milk with a long black straw.

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Why did the lady drop her shopping Because she ran into coles

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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Hey

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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A seal walks into a club.

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Scenario: 2 guys with big feet and a camels Anus are hiking on Mount Everest with a set of elephants dildos Man 1: what's the difference between a Volkswagen and a clock? Man 2: what? Man 1: you can't toboggan of a green house roof with a tub of Vaseline and a ostrich party on lady gaga's Anus

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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Why isn't Neil Patrick Harris like Barney Stinson in real life? Because he's gay

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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So a man rapes a little girl but rips her eyes out before he does it. In court he said the appropriate thing about this was that she could not see it cuming.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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