Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

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Q: why did suzy fall off the swing? A: she had no arms. Knock knock. Q: who's there? A: not suzy!

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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how does peploe get around they walk

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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guess what? chicken butt.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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Black people

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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