Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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your momma is so stupid she failed math class

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Wanna go for a bike ride??

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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How do you get four gay guys on a bar stool? With teamwork and coordination, each could place one foot on the seat, and they can all stand up using each other for balance and support. The fact that they are gay in unimportant.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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