How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

Get in the van

Emma Brown..I'd tap that shit Dylan xoxo

What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

Why did the mushroom go to the party??? Cuzz he was a fungi (fun guy)

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

but there is a road to the super market

Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

Have you ever had Kenyan food? Neither have they.

"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

Q: What did the black guy say when he stubbed his toe? A: Ouch.

What's the difference between me and you? Dr. Dre

you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

A Blonde walks into a bar. She is an abusive relationship and is drinking her pain away.

hi

A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...