Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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A women walks out of a kitchen.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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