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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

why is the room so dark? because the light is not on.

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

25

Knock knock Who's there? What.

What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

A man walks into a bar. End of story.

no u

From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

Black people are clen.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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