Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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dead babies

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What's the best joke of all? YOUR SOCIAL LIFE!!!!!!!

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a bagel.

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WNBA

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Why did the boy stop playing nintendo 64? He choked on a red M and M and struggled for air until he fell lifelessly on the floor, landing on his pet mole, furthermore, dying and killing the animal as well. It was loose loose situation.

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I am funny, yes? No, you are not.

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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How many blonds does it take to kidnap a child? One.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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