How do you kill a blue elephant? How? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a pink elephant? How? You hold it's nose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a orange elephant? How? You can't, they don't exist. How do you kill a white elephant? How? You tickle it till it turns pink, then you hold it's noose until it turns blue, then you shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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What's black and white and red all over? A newspaper with some red stuff on it.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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hi

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

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what is poop in pee? bagel thins? tuesday.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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What happened when the Asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops