What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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What do you call a man bathing with a toaster Electrocuted

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Why did the alien cross the road. To get to his ship.

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Q. what has 2 legs and can't walk A. a paraplegic

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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What do you call "Bob the Builder" when he retires Bob

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Wanna hear a joke womens rights

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a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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i heart wiener

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Your brother is so ugly that sometimes he gets teased at schools and comes home crying.

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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Get in the van

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Q. What do you call a black priest? A. Holy Shit

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Why did the mushroom go to the party? He was feeling upset because his wife left him and took full custody of his three kids. His friend cheered him up and took him to the party. At the party, he did a line of cocaine and became a drug addict. He died six months later.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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