What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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1,2 Freddy's Coming For You 3'4 Better Lock Your Doors 5'6 Grab Your Crucifix 7'8 Stay Up Late 9'10 Never Sleep Again Bonus 11'12 He's Gonna See You In Hell

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?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

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whats worse than a worm in a rotten apple? 2 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 2 worms in a rotten apple? 3 worms in a rotten apple. whats worse than 3 worms in a rotten apple? the haulocaust. whats worse than the haulocaust? 4 worms in a rotten apple. wait wait...that was rascist,nevermind this joke.

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Adam Sandler.

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Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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