Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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You play the piano? What more can you do? Sounds complicated but try me.

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Penis in a box.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What's the difference between a jew and a boyscout? A boyscout comes back from camp.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the farmer lacked basic fence mending skills

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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