Why can't Helen Keller drive? She's a woman.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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hi

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Why doesn't Superman eat peanuts? He doesn't like them

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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Two muffins are in an oven, when one muffin says to the other "its hot in here." The other muffin then says, "whoa! a talking muffin!"

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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come along children

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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The awkward moment when you notice its 2012 and we're all gonna die, so you buy and elephant and name him John.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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your life

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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