What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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Roses are Brown Violets are Brown I hate everyone on antijoke that steals what I write I fisted a cows butt hole.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A Rabbi, A Priest and an Imam walk into a bar. The Imam doesn't order a drink because it is strictly against his religious beliefs.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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