Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Time flies like a banana.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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"make me a sandwhich bitch" is what he said to his female boss and led to him getting fired and eventually losing his home. Two weeks later his family left him.

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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What is black and white and green and red and purple and orange and magenta and brown and yellow all at the same time? Can you tell me? Cause I've got no clue.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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what did the joke say to the anti-joke? do you want to fight

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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i like my women how i like my coffee ....i dont like coffee

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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