What did Helen Keller's parents do to punish her? They gave her a stern talking to and then grounded her for a couple days.

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hi

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why didn't the printer work? it was in the toilet.

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come along children

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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womens rights!

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What do you call a black armless legless man I Don't know but im kind of hungry

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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Your mom is so dumb that she failed to pass her 11th grade year, forcing her to drop out to get a GED and spend the rest of her life at a dead end job

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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From SpongeBob SquarePants "Hey Patrick, wanna know what's funnier than 24??" - SpongeBob "What?" - Patrick " 25!!!!" - SpongeBob There are a lot of things that are funnier than 24 though.

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Q) what happens when you tackle someone with 2 legs? A) you fall over

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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