why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What do you call a chicken with its head cut off? A dead chicken. Most likely ready to be cooked/eaten

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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What do you call a can of beans? A can of beans.

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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*ring ring ring* hello? This is a robbery... Dum dum dum.... (hangs up) *beep beep beep*

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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Why don't I ever lmao? Because my ass got bitten off by a bear.

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That's a lie, buffaloes are extinct now

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops