A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

thumb_up thumb_down +25

A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

thumb_up thumb_down +25

WNBA

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

thumb_up thumb_down +23

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What's the difference between a black man with a pie and an asian with an apple. They're of different ethnicitiesand cultures, and are holding different foods.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What do you call a fish without an eye? fsh.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

a rabbi sees a nazi in time square. he simply walks past because as we are in america the nazi can do nothing to harm him.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

thumb_up thumb_down +17

how does peploe get around they walk

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you get a black guy when he is hungry? Something edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops