What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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Miscarriages.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

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What is red and not there? No tomatoes.

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Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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A woman refuses to make a sandwich and walks away unharmed.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

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knock, knock whos there? steve steve who? steve johnson hi steve

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I used to be a schizophrenic but we're okay now

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Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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your mama is so fat she wears big pants.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What's worse than a bee sting? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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