Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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Why was Adam sad his dog got ran over? He was holding the dog.

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Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Robin, get in the car.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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WNBA

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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