Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Robin, get in the car.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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Knock knock It's open, come in.

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How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb? Fish

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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Pianca going ham

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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how does peploe get around they walk

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Fuck her

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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Penis in a box.

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A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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