A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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If you can dodge a traffic, that probably has little or no relation to how well you can dodge a ball.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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What did David say to Goliath? Not sure, does anyone have a Bible?

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police, your wife just died

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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Why did the girl hang herself? She was constantly bullied in school and on the internet.

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Knock Knock Who's there? I'm deaf. I'm deaf who? What?

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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