- Anti Joke

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

What did the Irisman say to the bartender? Don't know? i don't speak Irish?

How do you kill a blonde? lightsabre to the throat should do it

A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

Miscarriages.

I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

American Idol

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

Why did the indian man take the peanuts out of his lunch? Because he's allergic.

Write your own

What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

baby seal walks into a bar

Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

-What's a real anti joke? -This.

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

Anti Joke

Our Updated iOS App!

The Anti Joke Book

MOAR??