A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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Blonde hair is the result of having two recessive alleles for hair color in your genotype. There is no correlation between hair color and intelligence.

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Why did the guy kill his friends? He didn't, he doesn't have any friends

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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What did Niel Patrick Harris do after coming out of the closet? He grabbed his jacket and went for a delightful stroll in the park.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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Lets go Detroit Pistons!

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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Q:What did the policemen say to the other policemen? A:Safe

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Rebecca Black.

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A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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