Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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Why couldn't the 14 year old find a date? Because he had a speech impediment and girls avoided him usually.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What do you call a woman who has one leg that's shorter than the other? Asymmetrical.

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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womens rights!

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

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I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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look left now look right. washing machine

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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your life

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Robin, get in the car.

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Q: I am an over-protective father looking for my son who was kidnapped and am suddenly traveling with a mentally retarded woman who cant remember her name. By the way my wife was murdered and my son has physical disorder. Then, im hooked up with a hippy who doesnt care about anything. Who am I? A: Marlin the clownfish (from Finding Nemo).

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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whats gay ? you

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops