An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Anal cheese curds.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Get in the van

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Water, please.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What does Pontiac stand for - People Of Normal Thinking Intelligence Acting Classy

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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There was 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. I don't know the rest of the story but the ending was when they guy came all over their faces.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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your momma so ugly even she wouldnt date herself.

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Why doesn't stevie wonder play snooker? Because it's not very popular in the US.

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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My dog has no nose, so how does it smell? It can't, I just told you it has no nose.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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hi

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Carrots! ... well if they were invisible..

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How do black people gain access to houses? Through the front door.

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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