When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +21

How Long is a Chinese man.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

A rabbi, a preist, and a homosexual are at a bar... What a fine example of a well cultured community.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

what's long, skin colored, erect, and limp? a finger.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

thumb_up thumb_down +19

shut up

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the 14 year old girl cross the road? to get an abortion of the child she became impregnated with after getting raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

whats the difference between a blonde and a brunette? A. Genetics.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +9

two muffins are in an oven. 30 min. later i ate a delicious treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops