Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

When life gives you lemons, make a lemon and tamarind chutney.

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

Do you know any good bird jokes? Well this is hawkward...

25

Why was the black man screaming? The KKK was coming to lynch him.

Roses are red Violets are blue Little billy was annoying me But he can't anymore Because now he's dead In a burlap sack In the back of my truck And it's really bloody back there

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Why did the person play his XBOX 360? because he felt like it.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

your mamas so old, her social security number is 1!

Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

What's worse than listening to a teacher talk? This joke.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

Knock knock It's open, come in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...