Jacob Edwards has friends.

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What do you say when you wake up in the middle of the night to see your TV floating in midair? "I should probably lay off the hallucinogens."

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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What do you call a fish that is missing an eye. fsh.

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there are 2 black guys and a spanish guy in a car. who is driving? a sober, US citizen over the age of 16

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Yo mama so fat that her weight is starting to tear her and your father apart.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven had a raging hard-on and was leering at him.

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25

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How can you tell if a woman is dead? She has no pulse.

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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A man falls into a lake but no one is around to help him, luckily the man can swim so he got out of the lake and went home feeling embarrassed

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What is the best thing since sliced bread? Sliced butter.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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