Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

thumb_up thumb_down +54

What do you call a red sore on your genitals? Herpes, probably.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Did you hear that Hellen Keller went driving? Now she's also paralyzed.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

thumb_up thumb_down +50

A priest, a rabbi, and an atheist walk into a bar. They sit down and have a calm discussion about the differences in their beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

Why did the boy eat his homework? Because he already ate his dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

There is a car full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +48

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

?2 guys walk into a bar. One gets a beer the other get water.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Need homeless tips? Get A Job.

thumb_up thumb_down +36

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What did Billy get his parents for Christmas? Billy's an orphan.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops