- Anti Joke

A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

How many Alzheimer's patients does it take to screw in a light bulb? To get to the other side!

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

Did you know that there is no A is "sodimizing"?

What's brown a sticky? -A stick

Why does this dog have herpes? Global Warming.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

what do you call a room full of one terrorist and several babies? dead babies

Why is your Mom so ugly? She was born that way

How long does it take for a Jew to die being gased. Same as anyone else.

What's the difference between zev hatis and a dwarf Nothing. They are both midgets and are going to die by the age of 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

why is my brother white and i am brown? the milk man is very fast!

When the clock strikes the bell at elephantasourous during my erectionn i screw myself CC

beiber i straight

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George W. Bush

Are you Jewish? No. That's what Anne Frank said, too.

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

When life gives you lemons,you say thank you.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Doctor. Doctor Who, Your Doctor, you have 5 months to live

What's longer then Kim Kardashian's Wedding? 73 days.

women's rights