Don't rape me!

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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FIONN'S HAIR 1 LIKE = £1 FOR A HAIRCUT

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Why was the girl crying? She got kicked in the vagina

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WNBA

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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Why did the baby cross the street. Because he was attached to the chicken.

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where do the women go? the womanarium

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What do you call cheese thats not yours? Somebody elses cheese

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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Life is like a box of chocolates, it doesn't last as long for fat people...

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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What do a grape and a reindeer have in common? They're both purple, except the reindeer.

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops