Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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i wish i was a tree !

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Delivery.

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noodles

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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My butt!!!!

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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What do you call a school bus full of white kids? A school bus.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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What did the blind, def , dumb kid get for Christmas? Cancer

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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