What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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There once was a man from Peru Whose limericks stopped at line two (I sense the public demanding an encore) There once was a man from Verdun There's also a limerick about Emperor Nero, but I can't tell it to you.

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

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Of two wrongs don't make a right what do they make? I don't know but three rights make a left

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your life

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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whats gay ? you

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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lewis bedford

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why couldn't the young boy go trick or treating? He was a diabetic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops