Your mama so fat she often lays awake at night wondering if your father is happy with their sex life. He isn't.

I got shot, you laughed

Why does smokey bears wife never have kids? Because every time she gets hot smokey beats he with a shovel

What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

A man walks into a car dealership. The salesman was nice and he bought a Mercedes.

Knock Knock Who's There Ur Mom Ur Mom Who Ur Mom is Dead

what did the monkey say to the breast cancer?

why was the water bottle empty? because bob drank it. stupid bob...

What's worse than finding an apple in your wo- wait, what?!

Knock Knock. Whose there? Not your dead mom.

There was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were all of equal intelligence.

What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

What happen to Teenage Mutain ninja turtals? Go Ninja Go.

What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

What's the difference between a black man and a monkey? Millions of years of evolution

knock knock who's there? al-Qaeda

what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

Oh my god, I'm on fire! Help me, help me, oh God it's everywhere!

Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing Q) How do you get 100 midgets into a Mini? A)You have to manufacture a Mini large enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It wouldn't be street-legal, but at least the problem of getting 100 midgets into a Mini is solved. Q) Did you hear about the two guys who wanted to go to Paris? A) They didn't go! Q) Why did the boy throw his Television out the window? A) Cause it was completely broken. Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange. Q: What is red and smells like blue paint? A: Red paint. Q) What did the Hobo get for Xmas? A) Nothing

what did Barak Obama order at Dunking Donuts. a donut

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have herpes. If I were you I would get tested.

A van drives into a car.

Why did the jew put a parking meter on his roof.? ....So santa would have to pay to park.

Justin Beiber and a speaker = no hearing within a 25 mile area

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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