What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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What's worse than a School Bus accident? The Holocaust.

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Robin, get in the car.

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What did the man say to his wife? Go make me a sandwich!

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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How do you kill a down-syndrome kid? fire.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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why do black people hate aspirin? Its white, it works, and you have to pick cotton to get to it.

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A young boy is concerned about his fathers health, due to the fact he may have cancer. Turns out, he doesn't. So they got ice cream.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What's the similarity between a grape and an elephant? Both are purple except for the elephant.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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what did Johnny get for Halloween. ebola

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yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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jewish people like other jewish people.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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