Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

thumb_up thumb_down -39

Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

thumb_up thumb_down -43

Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down -43

What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

thumb_up thumb_down -53

What is a mexicans favorite sport? Whatever he is interested in.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

There is a car full of black people.

thumb_up thumb_down +50

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

thumb_up thumb_down +44

your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +42

-Knock knock -Come on in!

thumb_up thumb_down +42

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

thumb_up thumb_down +40

Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Jacob Edwards has friends.

thumb_up thumb_down +38

Hey, want to hear a joke? Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +36

what do you call a cup?... a cup

thumb_up thumb_down +36

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A young couple just gave birth to their first child and the doctor says, "I’ve good some good news and some bad news, what do you want first?" "Give us the bad news first", the parents reply. "Your baby has red hair", says the doctor. "Well whats the good news", ask the parents. "It’s dead", says the doctor.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops