What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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a little girl gets raped

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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What smells, tastes, and looks like trash? Garbage.

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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What happened to the kid who slept on a roof? He died

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whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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how does peploe get around they walk

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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