What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Dan O'Driscoll

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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Canada's army

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Two muffins are in an oven. One muffin turned to the other and said, "Boy, its getting hot in here." The other muffin said, "WE ARE GOING TO DIE IN HERE AND NO ONE WILL HERE US SCREAM."

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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A man buys free health care...

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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