When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

why did the bird fall out of the tree? Earth's Gravitational pull

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

Potato potato potato potato potato? Potato potato potato.

Roses are grey, violets are grey, im a dog

How do you know when your sister's on her period? Your dad's dick tastes like blood

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Why did the blonde stare at the carton of orange juice? Because she was lost in her thoughts about her dead husband, and how much he loved orange juice.

Lets make like trees and stand still

A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

if u dislike this u r most likely depressed

Knock Knock Who's there? Somebody who wants to come in.

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

A Nazi ran into a Bar.

What did the chicken do before it crossed the road? Looked both ways and then crossed with caution while looking out for oncoming vehicles.

what's funnier than a dead baby? a lot of less tragic things

what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

austins gay lolololol

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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