An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

thumb_up thumb_down +12

How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +10

George W. Bush

thumb_up thumb_down +10

A women gets a call saying her only daughter is trapped inside a burning building. She runs as fast as she can too her car before she realizes... women can't drive due to their role in society.

thumb_up thumb_down +10

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

whats better than a dead baby..... wait..... whats worse than a dead baby...... never mind its not that funny anymore

thumb_up thumb_down +6

What's better than finding a worm in your apple? -The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A handicapped man rolls into a bar. He buys a drink, talks for a while, and rolls out.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

penisface

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did batman say to the Joker? I'm Batman

thumb_up thumb_down

Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

thumb_up thumb_down

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops