Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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an invisible man walks into a bar and asks for a drink. No one noticed him cause hes invisible

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

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whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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What do you call it when a black guy runs down a hill? A male of African descent sprinting down a geographical landform that extends above the surrounding terrain.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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whats the difference between a snail? - both legs are the same lenght, especially the left one.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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People Eating Tasty Animals

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What did the homeless guy do when he saw a bucket? He peed in it

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aaaa

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You wanna hear a joke about my penis Nevermind, it would be inappropriate of me to say such a thing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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