why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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What did the man say to his son? Hello, son.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Knock knock Who's there? What.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, sorry i gave you Herpes type 2.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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no u

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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a little girl gets raped

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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