What did the mushroom say to the pretty lady? Nothing, because it's a mushroom.

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

What did Santa get for a young boy? A gun. What did Santa get for the young boys sister? Nothing, the boy shot Santa. Who sent out presents the next Christmas? Not Santa.

Knock knock Who's there? What.

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

Women's Basketball.

What's funny about a Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian going over the edge of a bridge in the same car? Nothing, they all died

What's funny about suicide? Nothing, that's horrible.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I'm a dog

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

What's the difference between Lady Gaga and the Bogeyman? Nothing.

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

a boy walks in a house and mother says hi who are you and the boy says does it really matter whad really maters is wht you will do about your dead son

Women's rights

Why were the sea hawks fans mad at the Super Bowl? Because why would you throw the ball if you have one yard to go

what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

A baby seal walks into a club...

how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

How Long is a Chinese man.

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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