Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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How do you make a kids fall off a swing? Throw an axe at them

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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What did the mushroom jock say to the mushroom nerd? your and ugly wimpy mushroom....and i am on steroids

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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guess what? chicken butt.

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Go away.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Two black guys are in an elevator, one guy gets off at the sixth floor, and the other on the eighth. And thats it.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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Boy: BRB Girl: OK. *Two hours later* Boy: Back. Girl: What took you so long? Boy: Someone asked why I loved you. Girl: Aw, that's so s- Boy: I know! I had no idea who he was! I had to call the cops.

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I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

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are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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What do you call two homosexuals in fancy hats? It depends, you have to ask their names first.

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Black people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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