Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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What do you get when you kill a black man? The death penalty.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Hitler was a pretty good guy I guess

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

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Why did the Octopus jump off the bridge? To breathe

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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a man walks into a bar.......ouch

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Pianca going ham

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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