What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Bobby walked into a bar. He was then escorted out of the bar and arrested because he was underage.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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i wish i was a tree !

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Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

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Why did the young woman have a sore vagina? Because she just experienced intercourse for the first time and her partner was not as gentle as he should've been, given the situation.

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Why is Obama's name Obama? Obama

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Gadaffi

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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How do you stop a train? Throw a fridge at it.

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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What is brown and smells? Poop

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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Yo mamas so fat, that she brought a spoon to the super bowl!

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SNICHOLS AND DOOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Orange!" "Oranges can't speak, who is this really?" "Your neighbor Jake, can I borrow your lawn mower?" "Sure, let me go to the garage and get it for you."

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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