A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +18

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +18

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

you wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Knock knock Come in!

thumb_up thumb_down +16

If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man yells at the top of the Grand Canyon, "Heyoooooo" He hears His voice echo multiple times. He yells again, "Heyoooooo" This time he hears his echo and a girl yell "heyo" back to him from within the canyon. He looks down. He falls. A mountain goat breaks his fall. The man is so thankful for the goat. He says, " Thank you goat! You saved my life!" The goat then pulls out a gun, and shoots him thrice. The man dies.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What is black and hangs from a tree in my backyard? My neighbors children.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Avery has crabs.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

a

thumb_up thumb_down +12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops