Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

Why doesn't Santa come in the Summer? Because it's not Christmas.

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

Q How do you make pie. A You cook it

Why is the grass always greener on the other side? because they have a landscaper.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

A baby seal walks into a club...

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was about to get raped.

What is as ugly as Justin Bieber's face? Justin Bieber's face.

whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

How do Jewish people celebrate Christmas? Jewish people do not celebrate Christmas, for Christmas is an annual commemoration of the birth of Jesus Christ, celebrated generally on December as a religious and cultural holiday by billions of people around the world. A feast central to the Christian liturgical year, it closes the Advent season and initiates the twelve days of Christmastide. Christmas is a civil holiday in many of the world's nations, is celebrated by an increasing number of people, and is an integral part of the Christmas and holiday season.

Whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza? A black guy is a human being, and a pizza is a food you racist.

A man walks into a bar. Ouch.

A: Ask me if im a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Who knows? They all just sit and bitch about it.

newt gingrich

If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's just been shot, despite the fact that zebra hunting is illegal.

what is the difference between a black person and a picnic bench? A picnic bench can support a family.

Why do you never hit a black man with your car? Because that's vehicular homicide.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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