a little girl gets raped

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A piece of rope walks into a bar, and asks for a beer. The bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve ropes here." The rope goes into the bathroom, ties himself into a knot, then rubs himself against the walls until his ends are ragged. Then he walks out and says to the bartender: "I'm a frayed knot." The bartender replies, "Right, I see that you've tied yourself into a knot and frayed your ends. So what? What are you trying to prove?" "Well, I...I mean, it was supposed to be a pun, and you were supposed to react like...like it was..." "Look, I thought I was doing you something nice by letting you use the restroom, even though I told you we don't serve ropes here. And then you go in there and rub yourself against the walls or some crazy shit, and probably get them all dirty, and you come out and expect I'm going to give you a drink because of a pun? Is that how you think this works? Get out of my bar before I call the police." The rope slinks out, still tied in a knot, and eventually finds somebody willing to buy a bottle of cheap vodka for him at a liquor store. He never sets foot in the bar again.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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no u

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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Whats worse than finding one worm in your apple? Two worms.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Is this Chick-fil-a? No, this is Joe.

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Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

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OH NO, ZOMBIES!!!!!!!!!!

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What would you call the Flintstones if they were black? N*ggers.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

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Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

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Why couldnt the black man drink from the water fountain? Because the water fountain was broken.

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What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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