Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

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Why did the black man win the race? Because he was talented and hardworking.

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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why did the 8 year old want a squirt gun? his parents were on fire

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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what has two legs and bleeds? half a dog

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Why can't Jimmy drive the tractor? Because Jimmy has no legs. Why doesn't he have any legs? Because he's a potato.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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A mute says to a paraplegic: You can talk the talk - but can you walk the walk?

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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What's 1+1? 4.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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Why is Ellen so funny? Because she is a comedian.

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*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

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Why was the woman poor at driving? Because she had not yet passed her driving test.

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Women

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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Jokes are funny.

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Whats black and has a large penis? A dog with large genitalia.

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How did the chicken cross the road? On it's chicken wings.

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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