why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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balls in ya mouf

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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A peice of dust floats into a bar. Its a peice of dust so no one notices it.

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yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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