If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

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Whats worst than being attacked by a tiger? Being attacked by 2 tigers.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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what is the difference between a gay guy and Sarah Dwyer nothing the both like there sex but Sarah is a Guy.

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Women's Basketball.

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A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

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Why did the fly get off the toilet? It got pissed off.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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lewis bedford

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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