If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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What happens when you eat all the strawberries? They are GONE...

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a black father

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A man runs into a bar and warns everyone about the hurricane.

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Whats funnier than a anti-joke? 911

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How do you get a dead baby out of a blender? Doritos.

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Lol you are really adorable, is more like maybe we will ask you some time, but hey, if you are asking, I mean you are beautiful, insecure, easy to break... I am totally joking by the way, you are completely down to earth, you are sweet, you know what you want, etc etc, hey, and to know what you want in life you got to be confident. Wait a second... I "act" like a savage? Lawl, "streams of OceANUS catchphrase"

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? No. Neither has he.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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What did the little boy with cancer do? He died.

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You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What do u get when you mix a young asian woman and a black man? Tiger Woods

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'THIS IS NOT A JOKE, YOU ARE THE 1000000TH VIEWER'...

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Whats red and smells like blue paint? A blue waffle.

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Water, please.

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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A man walks into the doctor's office for an appointment. The doctor proceeds to perform the usual examinations, before asking the man to turn his head and cough. As is standard, he felt the man's testicles to check for irregularities. The man jokes, "Say doc, couldn't you at least ask me to dinner first?" The doctor replies,"You have testicular cancer." He died a month later.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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