Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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in 2001 a man was working happily in his office cubicle and got an email from his boss saying that he had great news for him. filled with excitment he knew he was getting A big promotion and could finally afford that new toy his kid has always wanted. Feeling great the man walks up to the office window to enjoy the view he notices a very large commercial airliner flying straight towards his office.

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yo mama so fat she's fat

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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sweaty black guy

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Why do horses read books? We are all doomed...

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A homeless person dies.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why is it nice to wear jeans? So people don't see your undies.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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Women's Rights

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What is brown, smells like shit and on fire? A muslim after the bomb vest malfuctioned!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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What did the lighthouse say to the tree? Nothing because they are both unatimate objects and cannot speak

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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I just made up a joke! How many women does it take to screw in a light bulb? Seven. The ending needs some work...

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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I am really good at math debating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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