What did the blind, deaf and dumb kid get for his birthday? Broken arms and legs

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A plane carrying an Englishman, an Irishman, and a Scotsman is destined to crash unless some weight is lost. First they drop the spare engine, but there is still too much weight. Then they drop the luggage, but still there is too much weight. All three men then jump out. The plane crashes anyway.

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What did the black man say to the latino man? Nothing he was far to busy trying to get a cab to his office meeting for his board of directors do not appreciate tardiness

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? Actually a lot because a pizza is a pizza andna Jew is a human.

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A horse walks into a bar, Bartender says why the long face? and the horse says, i have horse aids

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why was the panda sad? It's family died when China had an earthquake.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

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What did the terrorist have for breakfast? Scrambled eggs and a glass of orange juice.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

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How many drunk Irishmen did it take to change the lightbulb? None, the bulb was fine.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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why was six afraid of seven? cause seven raped and pillaged eight's family.

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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