Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

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What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

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Why is he called Donald Trump? Because he trumps a lot...

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

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What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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Where else? The junk yard

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Canada's army

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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A man buys free health care...

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If Roger buys 109 candy bars and eats 65, what does he have? Diabetes.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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haha.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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