Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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Why is there velcro on the edge of the table. Because its there to hold the microwave.

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BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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Justin Bieber

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a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

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Where else? The junk yard

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

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Why are you here? Because i'm not over there!

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How do you realize your life is over? You don't, but the coroner does.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Connor "Rusty" McLeod

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I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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