Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What did the robot say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. It's funny because the robot has no arms.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? The IRS.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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What was the worst part when 3 Mexican men fell off a cliff? They each were active in the community and had jobs.

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What time is it? 12:03 AM

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Justin Bieber paid a donation to the anti-homosexual orginization.

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Whats worse than ten babies in one bin? One baby in ten bins.

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Three blind men walk into a bar but they were unaware of their surroundings so to derive humour from them would be exploitative.

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What the diffrence between a jew and a pizza? The pizza doesn't scream when it goes in the oven

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Whats worse than living with cancer? Dieing of cancer.

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Q) Why did Anti-joke start this webpage? A) Probably to make people laugh. and to show some irony in a few common jokes.

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one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

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Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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