Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Why did the kid cross the road? He was strapped to a chicken!

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A homeless person dies.

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Tacos

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Time flies like a banana.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Don't rape me!

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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WNBA

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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balls in ya mouf

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Did you hear the Joke about the Deaf kid? Neither did he.

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Why did the man jump off of the cliff? Because he was suicidal.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's, Cheese on toast.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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