How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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your momma is so old, she has heart problems

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas. A pool.

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Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

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Golf.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A Jew, a lesbian, and an Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender then cards them and sends them out because they're all under 21.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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What do you call a cat with no legs and an inverted anus? Nothing, you're to horrified to speak.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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10 years ago, i man got cancer. He recovered and now leads a normal life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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