How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

thumb_up thumb_down -22

clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

thumb_up thumb_down -22

A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

your momma is so old, she has heart problems

thumb_up thumb_down -24

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -26

when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

thumb_up thumb_down -26

Where else? The junk yard

thumb_up thumb_down -26

How do you fit 100 charizards into a bus? Put them into pokeballs. Otherwise, there would be no possible way because Charizards are such large creatures.

thumb_up thumb_down -28

If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

thumb_up thumb_down -34

A hot girl walks by a boy and he stares at her as she walks past. She see's him and asks "What are you looking at?", to which the boy replied "Oh I'm sorry. You happened to look familiar and I thought 'Perhaps I've met this person before. School? No. Work? No. I then concluded I've never seen you before and then you turned around and asked me what I was looking at".

thumb_up thumb_down -48

What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

thumb_up thumb_down +81

NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

thumb_up thumb_down +55

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +55

Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

thumb_up thumb_down +53

A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. "Where's my tractor?"

thumb_up thumb_down +47

haha.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

*Hands women baby* Women: Hes so beatiful! I'm going to love him forever! Doctor: Its not yours, yours died.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

An English man, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They each buy a pint and talk about their day.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops