Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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A baby seal walks into a club...

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

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How can you tell Egyptian Bees are tired? When they put down their suitcases and yell "IM Tired!"

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lewis bedford

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why happened when a clothes line walked into a bar? He got hung over

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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I love boobs

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What do you call a bus full of lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy

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how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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how does peploe get around they walk

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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