"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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Yo momma is so ugly, she might not win the "America's next top model" contest.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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The economy sucks. REM broke up. A man killed himself.

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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World peace

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Knock knock Violets are blue Helen Keller The Holocaust.

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "My son was just diagnosed with pancreatic cancer."

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Avery has crabs.

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jack shine has boobs

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Six hasn't been the same since he left Vietnam. Every time he closes his eyes, he's sees Charlie hiding in the darkness of the forest. Not that you could ever see those bastards, mind you. They were fast and they knew their way around the jungle. He remembers the looks on the boy's faces when they walked into that village and... oh Jesus. He shouldn't think about that now. Sometimes he still hears Tex's slow southern drawl. He remembers the smell of Brooklyn's cigarettes. He always had a pack of Luckys. But the boys are gone now... he knows that. It's--it's just that he forgets sometimes. And sometimes the way that seven looks at him... it makes him think. Sets him on edge. And he feels like he's back there... In the jungle... In the darkness. Seven has a hook for a hand as well, which is very scary.

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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