Why does Magic Johnson always use extra large condoms? Because he's got a giant dick and HIV.

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Gadaffi

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What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

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i wish i was a tree !

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What's (333x4)-198+(456x100,432)-10+5? Bet ya said i don't know! I don't either.

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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What do you call a kid with no arms annd legs? Names

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Knock knock Who's there? Gung chee Gung chee who? That's my full name.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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A Nazi ran into a Bar.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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