are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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what is green and has wheels? grass i lied about the wheels

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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pubic lice.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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What`s 3 times as worse than a war? 3 wars

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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What do you call an African american in your back yard A slave (I am sorry this is racist)

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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A black person in the NHL

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Punchline.

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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I'm not wearing any underwear. Why? Because I am have built in underwear. ;)

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What do Chuck Norris and Oprah Winfrey have in common? They are both white, male, good actors, white, rich, and white. Except for the eagle.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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