what do you call a duck with no legs? a sitting duck

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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A kid goes to the doctor and orders a salad. The doctor replies, "This is a smoking-free environment". The kid puts out his cigar and goes to Olive Garden to get his physical.

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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Whats Funnier than 24?........ 25

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Why did the man throw the clock out the window? The man's loving family had recently been murdered, and the clock was a constant reminder of their mortality, as it had served as the center of those horrific events.

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What do you call a black man who gets in the car with a drunk woman? An unsafe, yet easily avoidable situation.

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you are gay

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DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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If 25 cows walk in to the grocery store, what do you have? A scared manager. MOO!

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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What is worse than getting a paper cut? Your whole family dying to MERS in Peru before you were old enough to remember any of them.

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How many times does it take a blond to start a car? Usually once; however, the weather may have an impact how well the engine will spark.

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What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? Lots of stuff.

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Knock knock. Who's there? We are members of the church of Jesus Christ of latter day saints.

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Why did the man with no arms and legs fall out of the tree? Gravity.

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A van drives into a car.

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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What do u say to a blond when she says what a name. i love u baby i hate u baby.

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lol

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What did the fat man get for his birthday? diabetes

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I remember my first "I remember my first-" joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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