What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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A man walks into a bar. End of story.

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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Q: Why did the boy cross the road? A: Because he was being chased by a pedophile.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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do you know what's so funny? yup

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What did the kettle say to the pot? Nothing, inanimate objects can't talk.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What do you call batman when we lost all his money? Broke

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On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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