One Big Ass Mistake America

Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

Tacos

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

On the last day of Christmas, my true love gave to me... A letter saying she had gone bankrupt, as she had spent all her money buying me 12 pear trees, 35 golden rings, hiring maids and pipers and etc. for over 100 hours, and an innumerable amount of animals.

Don't rape me!

What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

Roses are red, Violets are red, The grass is red, The garden is on fire.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

Pirate ships are used by pirates.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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