DON'T expect the unexpected, you don't want to KILL the unexpected ;-)

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What did the dog say to the other dog? Your breath smells like onions.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

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"Knock Knock" "Whos there?" "Its Adolf, we're going to camp."

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A jew, an Arab, and A Scientist walk into a bar. The arab self explodes and kills them all

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Knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock knock, Who's there? Woodpecker. Woodpecker who? Woodpecker.

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a man and a woman are standing at a bar. they have a few drinks and then go home and die.

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Santa Clogged my toliet

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Roses are red Violets are blue Get in the car or i'll shoot you

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Why is the child screaming? Because he just woke up from a bad dream.

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Why Can't Asian women drive? a: Cause they are chink assholes who have only peripheral vision

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What's long, hard and full of seamen? A submarine.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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wanna hear a good joke? neither do I

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What's the difference between Stevie Wonder and Kevin Bacon? There's none. Neither of them is a taxi driver.

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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What's big, red and looks like a bucket? A small blue bucket labeled big red bucket.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? Six hasn't been the same since Vientnamn

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Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Whats worse then your penis in your mouth? Your mom in your penis.

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-What's brown and rhymes with snoop? -Dr. Dre

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops