How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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two boys break out in a verbal fight. the first boy says your so stupid youd sell a cow for a gallon of milk. the second boy replied, i agree with you 110%.

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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You: I have a really funny Knock Knock joke but you have to start it. Someone Else: Okay, Knock Knock You: Who's there? (now watch their face as they become confused)

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Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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come along children

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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If you have 10 fish and you drown 5 how many do you have left? 10... you can't drown a fish, and even if you could you would still have 10 because there would still be there, they would just be dead. 5 alive, 5 dead

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was infamous for stealing people's laundry, and 6 was insecure about his bare body

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His motives so far are unknown as he is a chicken, and therefor cannot divulge the information.

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A dyslexic pimp buys a warehouse.

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Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

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How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

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Why did the women keep scratching her head? Because she had lice

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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"How come the week takes so long but the weekend goes by so fast" "Because there are five days in the week and two in the weekend"

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because he wanted to

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops