What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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It is green and it is attached to a fence? Green paint

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Knock Knock Come In! Who me? Yeah. Ok.

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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knock knock. who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant

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Women rights.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I suck at poems nice tits.

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Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

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Why was the orphan crying? His parents were dead and his future was uncertain.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Why does the cool aid man make it look so easy to break through? -To Get to The Other Side!!!!!!

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How do you leave a man in suspense...

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I'm ginger no more needs to be said...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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