Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

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lewis bedford

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Black people are clen.

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What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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I LIKE TURLES.

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What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

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What do you call a file named pedo? A. Pedobear B. Toast C. Pedofile

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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oops

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why did the kid kill himslelf? he was bullied.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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Why did the Catholic priest get excommunicated from the church? He couldn't read.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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