Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

thumb_up thumb_down +32

How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

69

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why didnt the deaf man laugh? he was also mute

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

A man witnessed a car crash. He was traumatized

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

thumb_up thumb_down +28

I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What is funny about 9/11. Nothing, it was a tragic day for the world.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

how much dub would a dubstep step if a dubstep could step dub? purple

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

thumb_up thumb_down +20

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +20

whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What's worse than getting stuck in traffic? AIDS.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

World peace

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the chicken cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops