A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

A white guy drives to Home Depot in order to get supplies for remodeling his kitchen. He notices a few Mexicans standing around outside. He decides to go to to Lowe's instead.

thumb_up thumb_down -15

Why did the dinosaur jump off the cliff? Because he was mental

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Why was the black man wet? He was sprayed by a hose.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

BILLY BOB JAM:KNOCK KNOCK!! BOBERT:WHAT!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WOULD I EVEN CARE?!! BILLY BOB JAM:PIE BOBERT:WHY WONT YOU SHUT UP BILLY BOB JAM ORLANDIO STEAK?!!?!?!GET ME OUTTA HERE AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -23

A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

a drug dealer was caught and sent to jail. he asks the cop if he could give the cop the drugs for bail. the cop does not except the offer because it is against the law.

thumb_up thumb_down -27

A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -29

Where else? The junk yard

thumb_up thumb_down -29

If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

thumb_up thumb_down -35

-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

thumb_up thumb_down -37

Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause your mom has cancer

thumb_up thumb_down -39

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

thumb_up thumb_down -47

what is white and red all over? a ginger

thumb_up thumb_down -49

What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

thumb_up thumb_down +62

Knock knock. Who's there? Me. ME?!

thumb_up thumb_down +60

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +54

Why couldn't the Chinese man drive? Because he didn't have his driver's license yet.

thumb_up thumb_down +52

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

thumb_up thumb_down +52

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops