my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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Pianca going ham

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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oops

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9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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Covietz has a large penis

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Two muffins are in the oven, one looks at the other and says, "it sure is hot in here." The other responds, "AAhHH a TALKING MUFFIN."

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How many jews can you get in a car? 5, if you don't want any cops after you. The answer can also be 2,6,7,8,9. It's from car to car.

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What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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Women's Rights

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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