What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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There is a car full of black people.

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

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What should I name my dog?

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Why did the small child fall off a cliff? Because it was stupid

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What is pink and fluffy? Pink Fluff.

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how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

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Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

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That's as _____ as a ______ guy. Works with anything, and people do laugh.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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