You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

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What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

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What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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Womens rights.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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What Mary short for? Due to the fact she has no legs, on account of the flesh eating she contracted after a visit to argentina thanks to the make-a-wish foundation. Mary also has cancer

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Why didn't the boy eat peanut butter? He had Arachibutyrophobia.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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I am black.

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My sister has to take a dump

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Golf.

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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