Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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whats 2+2? 69 LOL

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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what the orphan boy get for christmas? Not his parents

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Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

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a duck walks in to a Chinese restaurant and the cut his head off

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roses are red violets are blue last time I saw u were in a zoo don't worry ill be there to not in a cage but laughing at u

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What's the difference between Jews and boy scouts? Boy scouts come back from their camps

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick

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Mommy, where do babies come from? In biology, sex is a process of combining and mixing genetic traits, often resulting in the specialization of organisms into a male or female variety (each known as a sex). Sexual reproduction involves combining specialized cells (gametes) to form offspring that inherit traits from both parents. Gametes can be identical in form and function (known as isogametes), but in many cases an asymmetry has evolved such that two sex-specific types of gametes (heterogametes) exist: male gametes are small, motile, and optimized to transport their genetic information over a distance, while female gametes are large, non-motile and contain the nutrients necessary for the early development of the young organism. An organism's sex is defined by the gametes it produces: males produce male gametes (spermatozoa, or sperm) while females produce female gametes (ova, or egg cells); individual organisms which produce both male and female gametes are termed hermaphroditic. Frequently, physical differences are associated with the different sexes of an organism; these sexual dimorphisms can reflect the different reproductive pressures the sexes experience. Thanks mommy

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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What's 6+2? 16

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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