I got a joke. What did the Platypus say to the Policeman?" "What a ridiculous question, Platypus's can't talk.

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How many Jews can you fit into a car? About 5 or 6. It depends on the size of the car.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Your momma's so fat: She has found a value in relationships beyond an aesthetic level.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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A guy walks into the bathroom, sits down and poops.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Ask me if I'm a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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I see says the blind man " no you don't" replied the deaf man... In the other room

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops