What do you call Obama? - the president

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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whats better than shoes feet

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once three middle easterns were walking down the street bomb bomb bomb

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whats worse then getting raped by a giant scorpion? getting raped by 2 giant scorpions!!!!!

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do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

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What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? A stick.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Who wears a forest ranger's hat and carries a can of kerosene? An arsonist who happens to be a forest ranger.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

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Tacos

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Why did the elephant fall into the hot chocolate? It fell off the marshmellow.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Your feet are so big your gonna need bigger shoes.

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What did the robot say to the centipede? STOP BEING A CENTIPEDE!!!! It's funny cause the robot ain't got no arms.

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why did the chicken cross the road.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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Can I touch it?

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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What was the hardest part about the orphanage burning down? My cock.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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