What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know what helps with sholder pain? If you lick my butthole.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's funnier than the Holocaust? Nothing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Long ago, when sailing ships ruled the sea, this captain and his crew were always in danger of being boarded by pirates from a pirate ship. One day while they were sailing, they saw that a pirate ship had sent a boarding party to try and board their ship. The crew became worried, but the Captain was calm. He bellowed to his First Mate, "Bring me my red shirt!" The First Mate quickly got the Captain's red shirt, which the captain put on. Then he led his crew into battle against the mean pirates. Although there were some casualties among the crew, the pirates were defeated. Later that day, the lookout screamed that there were two pirate vessels sending two boarding parties towards their ship. The crew was nervous, but the Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, "Bring me my red shirt!" And once again the battle was on! The Captain and his crew fought off the boarding parties, though this time more casualties occurred. Weary from the battles, the men sat around on deck that night recounting the day's events when an ensign looked at the Captain and asked, "Sir, why did you call for your red shirt before the battle?" The Captain, giving the ensign a look that only a captain can give, explained, "If I am wounded in battle, the red shirt does not show the blood, so you men will continue to fight unafraid." The men sat in silence. They were amazed at the courage of such a man. As dawn came the next morning, the lookout screamed that there were pirate ships, 10 of them, all with boarding parties on their way. The men became silent and looked to the Captain, their leader, for his usual command. The Captain, calm as ever, bellowed, 'Bring me my white flag!"

thumb_up thumb_down +15

you wanna hear a joke? no

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Don't rape me!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's brown, dusty, and full of male? My asshole.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

are you lazy? -yes -Why are u lazy? -cause am lazy

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Covietz has a large penis

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A ginger rapping.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

where do the women go? the womanarium

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Women's Rights

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock Knock Who's there (five gunshots)

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Some people are like Slinkies: they get really boring after a while.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

If I have 10 ice cubes and you have 11 apples, how many pancakes can hit the roof? ...Purple!! Because aliens don't wear hats.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops