what do you do if a blonde throws you a grenade. scream. run. hide

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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Knock, knock. "Who's there?" "Monica" "Monica who?" "Monica Lebinsky, your neighhbor"

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What do an apple and a banana have in common? They are both not cookies

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What does a mexican do when he gets lost in the woods? He does his best to find food, shelter, and water until a search and rescue operation finds him.

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a truck? You drive a truck, Michael Jackson has anal sex with little boys.

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YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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Golf.

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What's 1+1? 4.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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