What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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what do you call a stupid chav? Gifted

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What's 6+2? 16

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A businessman notices an attractive woman sitting at the end of the bar so he buys her a drink. She kindly accepts and spends a few minutes making pleasant conversation with him. When she's finished with her drink, she promptly begins to flirt with another man at the bar who's not twenty years older than her and horribly out of shape. The middle-aged businessman, realizing his own mortality, proceeds to spend the rest of the evening drinking himself into vortex of loneliness.

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A mexican goes to an ATM.

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A man is walking down the street when a woman asks "excuse me, have you got the time?" to which the man replies "Yes..yes i do" the woman thanks him, and continues with her time constricted shannigans.

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whats the differance between a orange and a dead baby one is a delicious treat the other is a fruit

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How many doctors does it take to screw in a light-bulb? One, usually.

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How do you make a business man cry? Hit him in the face with a brick

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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister are in a boat in the middle of the lake when a lightning bolt flashes out of the sky and hits them. Fortunately, no one died because only about 10% of those struck are killed.

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What do you call an illegal citizen from the Middle East? Someone seeking a better life in a democratic country after suffering in a communist government for his entire life.

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why did the chicken cross the road. why? because he felt like it

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A. Wanna Hear a funny joke? B. Yes! A. The WNBA.

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What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead black guy in the road? It doesn't matter, I cried after both

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What do you call a dog with no legs? You don't, it won't come.

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Potatoes have skin, i have skin, so there i must be a pig

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roses are red violet are blu--- blue? violets are violet! weird, isn't it?

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Friends and Potatoes are similar...if u eat them try die.

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What's more satistfying then good sex? A nice loud, stinky fart.

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What is the difference between Batman and a black man? Their skin color and bank accounts.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? Your TV

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Q: My mom's getting really old and It's starting to get hard to shop for her. Any ideas? A: You should get her a coffin.

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops