what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman walk into a bar. It happens frequently at UK airports.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Whats why was the 18 year old boy scared of his dad? Cause his dad butt raped him when he was 7.

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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...and I'm a Mormon.

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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I am really good at math debating

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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Is you refrigerator running? That's odd you should call the cops about that one!

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Why couldn't the cow move? It had Cystic Fibrosis.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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Why was the man running from the cops? His car broke down.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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