A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

How do you have safe sex? Cut your own balls off

WNBA

why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

steves legs

yo mama's so sexy... wait, thats not how it goes

Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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