If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

What's a golfer's favorite sandwich? Well, it depends on the golfer

Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

Punchline.

Knock knock Whos there? Orphan. Orphan who? Orphan miller. Orphan miller who? Orphan miller jones. Orphan miller jones who? Thats it. Oh okay, I get it you're doing a knock knock joke Yeah. did it go alright? Yeah I guess, untill we started talking in 3rd person.

Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

Knock knock Who's there Heyyyy mackane!! ;)

Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

What happened when the boy didn't forward the chain message to ten people. Nothing.

Gadaffi

Knock Knock Good one...

Whats black, white, and read all over? Micheal Jackson reading a book while painting himself red.

how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

Why was the little boy crying? His whole family died.

three men walked into a bar, can't believe know one noticed it.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...