Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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I love boobs

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whats worss than getting a papercut gohnnarea

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What do elephants have that no other animal has? Baby elephants.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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I am a real homosexual

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What did Abe Lincoln say before he gave the Gettysburg Address? No one knows, its not documented.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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everyone's always talking about the emperor's clothes, don't they know this is murica

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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Rebecca Black was taking a leisurely stroll on a Friday afternoon. She was consumed by a lion.

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Q: What do you call a black man sitting on a bench? A: Whatever his name is.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops