What do you call it when a drunk guy puts a tree in his house and then decorates his fireplace with his socks? Christmas (I didn't come up with this)

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Did you hear about the guy with seven fingers? You should, because almost everybody has seven fingers.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

noodles

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Communism ... ... ... ... ... HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you throw a drowning guitarist? An emergency floatation device.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Do you want to come with me? NO! oh i wanted to cum on your face. Thats god damn gay Nope thats god damn sexy.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

thumb_up thumb_down -11

A Horse walks into a bar. Everyone dies

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What do cats eat for Dinner? Cat Food.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why did the chicken cross the road ? To get to the gay guy's house . Knock knock . Who's there? The chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

who farted? umm........that guy.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

You tell your mom she's a bitch and she later commits suicide by shooting herself in the head . Now, what's the only thing ductape can't fix? Your moms skull.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

What do you call a supporter of Barrack Obama? A welfare recipient

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Why does Helen Keller only masturbate with one hand? Because she's moaning with the other.

thumb_up thumb_down -13

Womens rights.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

Your doorbell is broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -17

How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

thumb_up thumb_down -19

A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

thumb_up thumb_down -19

An amputee walks into a bar with a big smile on his face and sits down. The bartender looks over at him and asks "How did you lose your arm?" The amputee doesn't respond because he has been deaf and mute since birth.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

thumb_up thumb_down -21

a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

thumb_up thumb_down -27

whats red white and blue? i dont know

thumb_up thumb_down -35

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops