Thumbs this up

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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what do you call a needle with two heads? a two headed needle

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Why did Tyrone attack? Because he was getting made fun of

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A prostitute has sex with a man. She gave him herpes.

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Your doorbell is broken.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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A semi-coherent black man was wandering down the street toward an open garbage receptacle. Immediately an angry, filthy raccoon jumped up, hissing and baring its fangs, as if to defend its territory against the startled negro. This happened four times in a row. Each time it was either a negro, a mexican, a crippled kid or a person of jewish ancestry. Each time the raccoon hissed viciously. Coincidence? No. The raccoon was obviously very hungry and attempting to defend its last remaining refuge of territory from the ever-increasing encroachment of man's filth into the formerly natural and pristine spaces where wildlife once lived. He is now reduced to hissing at the ethnics and the cripples, just to eek out a pitiful subsistence on trash.

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What happens when Batman Robin and Wonder woman go on a date? Somebody isn't getting laid.

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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How do you fit 90 Jews in a Volkswagen Bug? You can't.

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What happened to Liam? He died because of an infected scrotum.

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A man and his wife are walking home from a lovely evening at the movies when suddenly a masked man jumps from the bushes demanding a pad and pen, his mother just got a new phone number and he suffers from short term memory loss.

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what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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Where else? The junk yard

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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Why do mexicans jump the gate Because theres a sale at chipotle

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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