What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

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what do you call a jewish ladies boob? a joob

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i fondle myself every night....

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What did the white man say to the black man? We both deserve to be treated as equals although we are from much different cultural backgrounds.

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*Knock* *Knock* Who's there? The IRS

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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Where else? The junk yard

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when geese fly in a v formation, why is one side always longer then the other? cause there are more geese on one side

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Whats the worst thing that happened in the holocaust? it ended

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Whats worse than being a Jew? Being black.

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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"I have some pretty bad news for you, but to ease into it, I will try to work it into a conversation." -Alright Doctor, let's try that." "Hey, how are you feeling today?" -"I feel great!" "That's odd, because you have leukemia..."

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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