There were three hungry cows in a barn. One day, one of them finds a stick of butter on the ground, and notifies the other cows of his findings. Since the barn was ran like a democracy, the cows decided via 2/3 vote that the winner of the stick of butter should be decided by a checkers tournament. The problem is that there is no good way to run a checkers tournament with three cows because checkers is a one-on-one game. The first cow suggests trying to find another cow to join in so that they could have a bracket-style tournament, but there were only three cows that lived in the barn. The second cow suggests a round-robin style tournament. The third cow informs the second cow that there is a possibility of a tie because each cow can finish with one win and one loss among the two games in a round-robin tournament. The first cow suggests that the round-robin process can be repeated until there is a winner. This joint suggestion was approved by 2/3 vote by the cows. Finally the checkers tournament begins. The first cow says to the second cow, "you butter not beat me at checkers!"

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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what is white and red all over? a ginger

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What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Why did polly fall of her swing ??? She had no arms

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Knock knock Who's there? The police, we know you've been pirating movies.

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What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

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i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

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"hey those pancakes look pretty good." "thats a cat steve."

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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What does Lady Gaga call Hitler? Nothing special because she doesn't refer to him in everyday's speech.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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A blonde's house is on fire so she calls the fire department and they ask her how to get there. She gives them the address, but they hear her wrong and she dies a horrible fiery death.

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when do you go to heaven? Never, it doesn't exist.

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What's your name? You tell me.

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What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

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what do you call a cup?... a cup

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What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? You should ice those to preven swelling aron the eyes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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