If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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A child is in the grocery checkout with their parents. It sees the candy display and asks for a pack of Reese's. When the parents do not grant the child's request, they begin to scream and cry. When they arrive home, the child is beaten with a copper rod. The new puppy that the child got for a birthday present is hanged and fed to buzzards.

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There is a car full of black people.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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Why did the first koala fall out of the tree? because it was dead. Why the second koala fall out of the tree? because it was hit by the first koala. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? because it thought it was a game.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What did batman say to robin befor they got in the car? Robin, get in the car.

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

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Why did the rooster go to kfc? To see a chicken strip

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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How can you tell that a blonde has been using a computer? You can't. There's no common link between computing habits and hair color.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Womens rights. Are extremely valuable because women are equal.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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