A boat sinks in the ocean, what does the sailor do? Nothing, he wasn't on the boat.

A: Ask me if I'm a fire hydrant. B: Are you a fire hydrant? A: No...

corey is a nipplepotomus

what's black, long, and moves around a lot? a van.

whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

Hi colton

When life gives you Lebanon, make lebanonanade.

How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

Three guys walk into a club, one is a fat ugly chode face bastard, the second one is a 4 foot 2 cricket champion and the third is a handsome young man.

Yo momma's so ugly, when she looked in the mirror she decided to get plastic surgery.

What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

Why don't rhetorical questions need answers? Because that is what makes them rhetorical.

What is Chris Benoit up to? Just hangin'

Why did the older man begin to walk faster after a black man started walking towards him? He was late for work.

yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

one fish two fish red fish kill the fish

A owl into a bar This joke is a hoot

your moms so fat when she sat on your ipod it turned into an ipad

What happened to Alice? She fell down a big hole and broke her neck.

why was the panda sent to prison? he played a major roll in the bombing of 9-11

who farted? umm........that guy.

a muslim walks in to a bar... there were no survivors

The man from Poland was so dumb he was eligible to live in a supervised group home.

What's purple and green and has a criminal record including two counts of armed robbery, five counts of possession with intent to sell, one count of attempted murder, several citations for underage drinking, and a parking ticket? Barney, but ignore all that other stuff. His record was expunged.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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