A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

thumb_up thumb_down +13

A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Your mum is dead

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What's a thither? My sister with a lisp.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

whats the oposite from anti-jokes? uncle-jokes. LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +9

In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women's rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's the easiest way to kill a blond? You stab her.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse then biting into an apple and finding a worm? Finding half a worm and wondering where the other half is. o.O

thumb_up thumb_down +5

"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

thumb_up thumb_down +3

A horse walks into a bar...n

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Guess what, I have cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

thumb_up thumb_down -1

roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

thumb_up thumb_down -1

what's brown and sticky? a stick.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops