Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

Wanna hear a funny story? Sure Ok.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

thumb_up thumb_down +25

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down +25

what kind of person screaws in a light blub........ a electrician

thumb_up thumb_down +23

What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

thumb_up thumb_down +23

How many Jews can you fit in a Jeep? Four.

thumb_up thumb_down +23

Why can't a T-Rex clap his hands? Because its dead

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Simon Cowell's hair is real.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

thumb_up thumb_down +21

whats better than shoes feet

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

do you know a really good joke? i don't have one.

thumb_up thumb_down +21

What's worse than the titanic sinking 9-11

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black man is packing heat while driving his car. He is a police officer

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I walked in on my daughter masturbating. The whole ordeal was very uncomfortable, but I sat her down at the dining table to discreetly explain the necessity of locking doors.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops