A man runs into a psychiatrist's office and screams, "You gotta help me doc! I just killed seven people in my office building!"

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What do you call a young fortune teller who just escaped from jail? A small medium at large.

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dinosours eat beagles and then unicorns eat norwalls then th shiny squarles eat you then unvirse inploads

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Nero, what if you are using me now? Manipulating me? You think I enjoy falling in love after chatting with you in a site which is not even meant for chatting? You can do that, you are a "facilitator", I don't care as much for point zero, as I do care about you, hell, if things where different, id quit the whole thing to stay with you! I could say I will never forgive you if you make me feel safe by your side, accept your help only to get stabbed in the back for trusting you.

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a Christian walk into a bar, they then sit down and discuss the various political factors driving a wedge between unity, peace, harmony and understaning between their religions. They resolve that despite the differences in religious belief, essentially they are all the same, and want happy existences with family and friends, and that equality and peace between religions should be a prime focus of religious institutions and governments. They then band together to criticize aetheists, who present a much more probable explanation for why the Universe is the way it is. An eavesdropper then mulls over the idea that the various religions represented behind him are willing to debate philosophical standpoints, so long as their monotheistic beliefs are not contradicted.

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clown penis dot fart? dangle pussy

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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whats red white and blue? i dont know

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Q: Why do Jews have big noses? A: Because air is free!

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I have a door you don't have to say, knock knock.

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what did the man say when he got in the car?nothing he lost his voice in an accient that morning

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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Boy: Is your body from McDonalds ? Girl: Aww is it because your lovin' it? Boy: No, it's because your greasy and fat!

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What's funny and arousing? This joke.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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When geese fly, they often fly in a V-formation. Why is one side of the V is always longer than the other? Because there are more birds on that side.

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My sister has to take a dump

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Golf.

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what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

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What do you call a black lifeguard? Ironic.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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