what do you call a dear with no I? No I dear

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a black man and a mexican are sitting in the back seat of a car....whose driving? the cop

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If one train goes east at 30mph and another train goes south at 53mph, how many pancakes does it take to make a mattress? 7 because peanut butter can't climb trees.

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Q: What's better than a dead baby? A: Knowing who killed it, because then you can report them to your local authorities, thus creating a safer community.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

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So there was a pirate, he got shot in the back. And when he got shot he turned to his freind (fellow pirate) and said i have been shot and there is a pretty good chance i will die.

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I saw mommy kissing Santa Claus, the divorce papers were filed soon thereafter.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

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As a wise man once told me... "natives."

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A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Golf.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

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A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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