When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

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What did the boy with Aids pray for? A gun

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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9:11 make a wish

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Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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A man walks into a doctor's office. He is diagnosed with cancer. After three years he dies.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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