Why couldn't the cat eat it's food? It's face was stapled to the floor.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock Who's there Not Sally

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Covietz has a large penis

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My Bologna has a first name, it's Tim.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends on how hard you throw them.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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I am really good at math debating

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What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve? Black mail !

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Punchline.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Cripling social anxiety.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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