Why was the man named Thomas? Because that was his name

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So i was walking down the street and this guy was really excited. I said "what is so Exciting?" He said "i just saw Justin bieber kiss a girl."

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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Q-What's the difference between me and Chuck Norris? A1- Nothing. We are both humans. A2- Technically, his atomic structure, genes, heritage, blood type, hair color, skin color, muscle tone, eye color, and countless other things. What's more, I am not an actor who revels in fake glory.

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Why couldn't the college student get on the internet? He can't afford a computer.

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How many apples fit in a garbage bag? I actually don't know. I was asking you.

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What came first, the chicken or the egg? Down Syndrome

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what did the book say to the lamp? nothing because BOOKS CANT TALK

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How did the dog die? It was wet because of the rain so the little boy put him in the microwave for 30 minutes to warm him up

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A: thats what your mom said last night! B: my mom committed suicide when i was three because she could not handle the stress of being a teen mother with an abusive boyfriend. A: oh... B: yeah....

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. Yes dyslexic people drink too.

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A man comes home from the office, walks inside and hangs up his coat and hat at the door. He walks into the kitchen to find his wife has not made dinner instead she is drinking with friends, she tells him that she would have made dinner but she didnt want to. Furious, the man storms to the door, grabs his coat and leaves... He gets in his car and drives down to the pub. Sitting there drinking his beer, trying to calm down he finds a peice of paper tucked into his coat pocket, he unfolds it and reads it. It turns out to be a memo he wrote to remind himself at work that day.

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Where else? The junk yard

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When did the black man go to the pharmacy and why ? His wife , for whom he cared very much , had a cold and he had to get her prescription for her . On top of that , he had a horrible problem problem with painkillers that caused him to have an aneurysm on the way there .

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"I lost the game." Hahahahahahahahahahahaha in your face

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jacobs 1inch gets matt. t in 4 seconds

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Q. Why did the koala bear go to court? A. Because too many people were referring to it as a bear when it is infact not a bear.

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Roses are white Violets are white I did it in the garden

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What do you call someone that hates gay people? An asshole.

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? Cos crossing the road usually doesn't work out too well for chickens.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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