Why would anyone try to run from a fight if:Its not the size of the dog in the fight, its the size of the fight in the dog? I wasn't even talking about dogs and fight isn't something in you! Next time, don't listen to your football coach.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What does a man like. food.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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knock knock whos there .. derp

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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A scottish and a mexican were walking on the streets when the mexican got hit by a car. The scottish man called the ambulance and walkked away.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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What's bigger than your penis? The Empire State Building.

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WNBA

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What do you call a female duck? A duck.

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Q: Has your ear operation had success? A: Hotdog with chili.

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69

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What do you say to a blind buss driver? You suck

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25

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Ah dead on it was all Taggart!!!

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender says "why the long face?" He says, "I have acromegaly"

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Why did Harry go to the store? He was out of food.

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A man was walking outside at night and he heard thunder and saw lighting so he took out a metal pole.

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Why did the girl cross the road? She didn't. Well, she tried but when she was halfway there, she was hit by a bus and had to be rushed to the hospital.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive a bus? Because she's dead

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What did God say when he made the first black person? I have just added a significant element of diversity to the human species. Intolerance between ethnicities will surely prove to be an obstacle in societal progression, creating hardships for many. I know this because I am God.

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A man went into a bakers to buy a loaf of bread. The baker said 'What can i do for you sir?' The man said 'Id like a loaf of blue bread please.' Baker replied 'Sorry sir we only sell brown or white here.' 'Thats ok.' said the man, 'I have my bike outside.' [This joke was made up by myself and my school friends in 1975 age 15. We all told it for years - i still do - and cried with laughter whenever we heard it. We called them non jokes :-) ]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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