If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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what did the ninja say to the watermelon ? nothing

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What would you like to drink? A Pepsi. Is Coca-Cola okay? No.

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name-Sally-Sue What I am good at in school: readin' annnd...math. What I need to work on in school: spelin

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Yo' mama so retarded shes retarted!

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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Jim fell of his bike, wanna know how. Someone threw a car at him. Knock knock, who's there, not Jim

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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A: If a quiz is quizzical, what is a test? B: A test can be many things: 1. A procedure for critical evaluation; a means of determining the presence, quality, or truth of something; a trial: a test of one's eyesight; subjecting a hypothesis to a test; a test of an athlete's endurance. 2. A series of questions, problems, or physical responses designed to determine knowledge, intelligence, or ability. 3. A basis for evaluation or judgment: "A test of democratic government is how Congress and the president work together" (Haynes Johnson). 4. Chemistry a. A physical or chemical change by which a substance may be detected or its properties ascertained. b. A reagent used to cause or promote such a change. c. A positive result obtained. 5. A cupel. A: Oh.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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steves legs

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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i had a bowl of soup and it was 5 inches in diameter and 3 inches tall. how much soup did i eat? very little because i drank most of it

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Hi colton

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Men's rights

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What do you call a man who just came home from a 72-hour work shift ? You don't call him, you let him sleep.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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"And i look to myself what the hell happened to our world..."

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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Why does Jerry sandusky like little boys? Because each and every intellectual human being have different interests

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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