In Soviet Russia, everyone leads a perfectly normal life.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Q: How do you kill a blonde? A: Put M&M's on the bottom of a pool, and tell her to arrange them in alphabetical order. By the time she starts to question this, the poison should be kicking in.

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Why was the elderly, Asian, blond pulled over by the officer? She was, and has been completely blind since birth.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You did very poorly on your homework and will never succeed. The student was black.

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Punchline.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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whats pink and fluffy pink fluff

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Are you a homophobe? No, I'm cake. ,.

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How many Aodhan's does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Aodhan's da has already screwed all the lightbulbs...

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So I'm balls deep in this turkey dinner....... then i proceed to ejaculate into it and ruin my family's Thanksgiving along with their perception of me.

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Send creepy emails to this email address: matt.harrington@highlandcatholic.org

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how do you know if a chinese man has been in you house? your homework is done

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Why did the blind man drown? Because he couldn't swim.

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Why does a chicken lay an egg? If she'd throw it, it would break.

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Why couldn't the boy see the pirate movie? He was blind.

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Listen I know you're a cat and I'm a cat but I know we can be friends

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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roses are red violets are red everything's red i'm colour blind

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What do you call a girl with no arms and an eyepatch? Names.

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good. The food I placed in the refrigerator a few hours ago will now be cold.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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