A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

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What do you call a midget sitting in a tree? Jim, because that's his name.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What do you say to the man with lopsided balls? I am terribly sorry, your condition has most certainly left you socially alienated and confused.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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What did the vapyre eat for dinner? Nothing, they dont exist.

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what's hard and pink going in a soft and wet coming out Gum

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What do you call a jew with no money It doesn't really matter because all jews have money

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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whats pink and fluffy? pink fluff.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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Jessica walks into a bar jokes jessica cant walk

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Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

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Q. How do you make an atheist appreciate life? A. Break his legs.

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I'm so hungry, I could eat an adequately sized meal

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People talk about how there grandparents was in the holocaust well my grandpa was to he died. How he fell off the guard tower.

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Whats worse than meeting kim kardashian? everything shes the hottest freakin celeb there is

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Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

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Why did jack fall down the hill ? Because Jill pushed him.

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Pencils are yellow, Grass is green OK

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How do you know when there's a terrorist in an airport? There's a camel in the parking lot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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