Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

Q: What's black and blue and red all over? A: I'm not sure. If it's red all over, it's not going to be black or blue.

Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

What is the difference between a bench and a black man? It is socially acceptable to sit on a bench to eat your lunch. If you did so to a black man you would probably be arrested.

One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

whats better than shoes feet

Why is Santa's sack so big? His doctor recently diagnosed him with testicular cancer.

How Long is a Chinese man.

yo mama's so ugly, it affects her self esteem.

Why is brennan goldade such a loser? Cause he likes men

Have you ever seen the mexican that went to college? Yes, the DREAM act increased the number of minorities in public universities

What did Santa Claus get for Christmas? Non-believers.

How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

Why hasn't Justin Bieber gone through puberty. Usher Chopped his balls off.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, it is unclear what the chicken's motivation to cross the road was.

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

Knock knock who is there ? i'm an orphaned, sir can you tell me why did you write who "is" instead of who's ?? because than i will have to use the (') key and its very far not to mention that i have to use the shift key do u want a pizza ? how much ? 50 cents ? get the hell out ? im not even in yet !

how do you make a blonde laugh on friday tell her shes a blonde on monday

Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

What did the mail man say to the resident? I have your mail. Now let's f*ck.

This is a humorous joke, you will laugh.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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