What's worse then burning in hell for eternity? Well, a lot considering hell is a made-up place.

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why am i so pretty? because god blessed me with good looks

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How do you finish your homework? Get your dog to eat it.

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What did the thin Italian say to the fat Italian? I don't know, I can't speak Italian.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face?" and the horse says "my wife has terminal cancer.

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Your mama's so fat her patronus is a cake!

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. Two muffins are sitting next to each other in the dessert. A hungry man passes, takes a look at the muffins lifts his shoulders and walks away. The next day a camel walks by and eats one of the muffins. The camel dies instantly, apparently the muffin was poisoned.

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Two muffins are in an oven. Although they both possess the extraordinary ability to speak, strangely each remains silent, apparently lost in their own thoughts. Thus nobody has any reason to think they are any different than any other muffins. Later after they've been baked and allowed to cool, they are sold to a woman who eats them along with a small salad. She enjoys their chewy, hearty texture, and lightly sweet taste. She is completely unaware of what amazing discovery has just been lost to science.

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your mother's head is so big that she wears very big hats.

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What's purple and eats rocks? Scientists are still looking into this question.

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Why did the milkman die? Because everyone dies.

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Wanna hear a joke? No.

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You say you can read me like a book, well the jokes on you. I am not a book.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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Magic Johnson has AIDS

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How can you confuse a blonde? Give her a calculus worksheet that she hasn't learned how to do.

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First kid: my name is bob second kid: ok First kid: Now tell me what my name is?? second kid: bob First kid: HOW did you know???

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because its head is so far away from its shoulders.

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What did one rock say to the other rock? Nothing, rocks are inanimate objects, therefore rendering them unable to participate in the activity of speech.

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Why did man push another man off of a building? Because he is a homocidal maniac and should be in federal prison

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Dwayne. Ok... come in.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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