Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

YOU SHALL NOT PASS!!!!!!!!! why not?

What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

There was an old woman who lived in a shoe. She had so many children her uterus fell out.

What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

What's worse than 10 dead babies in a dumpster? One dead baby in 10 dumpsters.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

What's funny and arousing? This joke.

I'm not wearing underwear Why not Cause I have built in underwear

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why are black guys so tall? Because their knee grows

i am a duck. are you a duck. yes i am a duck.

What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

Golf.

What's 1+1? 4.

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

what's red and fluffy ... red fluff

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

What did the father tell his son on his death bed? Nothing. He was hit by a car and was now a vegetable.

How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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