I love boobs

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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When life gives you lemons you leave the earth in search of what strange lifeform sent you them.

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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I am a real homosexual

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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