You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

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Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

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a black guy leaves prison

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What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

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When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

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"Your moms so fat I jiggled my pickle and she jumped with tortoise." Is what I would say if I was retarded. Downvote this shiz!

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What's the difference between a mouse and a dinosaur? A lot.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

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why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

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Why didn't Sally eat the meatballs The meatballs ate her

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Jewish People

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If life gives you melons ... You might be dyslexic

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Why did the plane full of Arabs crash? One of The engines failed

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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3 men- Greg-Allen-And James were on their way back from the bar. When the driver, Greg spun out of control. All of them died Instantly. Once they got to heaven, Jesus told them. " The better you were with Relationships, And loving just one person. The better Transportation you got." He bagan handing things out. " Well, Greg. Looks like you cheated on your most recent Girlfriend... Twice. You get a Bike." Next was Allen " Allen! Shame on you! You have dated 4 women at once! You get a Scooter!" And last was James. " James! You have stayed true to your wife! And all of your other ex- girlfriends. You get a Mustang!" Allen and Greg seen james, Sitting on his car, Upset. "Man! Whats wrong? You have the best thing you could get! I'd be happy!" James looks up and says " Thanks guys, But I just seen my Wife on A skateboard.."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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