I dislike old people.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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A man walks into a bar and says ouch, as he stubbed his foot when he became fully enclosed in the tavern.

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Golf.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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What's not red? No tomatoes.

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What do you call a Mexican who steals a car? A criminal.

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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What did Sam say when the basketball hit her face? Ouch.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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why did the chicken cross the road? it wanted to get the waffle ice cream cone that was on the ground next to the little child who got hit by a bus.

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How do you make a napkin dance? You can't. Stop having such unrealistic aspirations.

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A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

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An Irish man, a Scottish man and an English man walk into a bar ... The Irish man's a bit dim, the Scotsman's tight with money and the Englishman's a bit of a racist.

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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the chicken whent boomand then died

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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What's worse than dropping your ice cream on the floor? Getting the end of your penis stapled

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What happens every 10 seconds in Africa? 10 seconds passes by.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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A man powers up his computer but then realizes he's in China.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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