You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

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Q:A man has 100 chocolate bars he eats 93 of them. What has he got now? A:Diabetes

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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What's worse than losing your phone? 9/11

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A man waltzes into a bar, waving a carrot in the air. With an arrogant air of self-importance he flops onto a highchair at the bar. Looka here, looka here, he says to the bartender, waiving the carrot at the man. Will you buy me drinks all night, if I can make this carrot... Never mind, and please leave my bar, the bartender says, pulling out a carrot from under the counter. I've got one myself.

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what is a vampires favorite dessert? a used tampon

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Why did the chicken cross the road? What does chicken mean?

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Knock Knock Who's There? Just open the damn door I forgot my key and I really need to pee

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Hey Jim? What? Pass the stapler.

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Knock, Knock. Who's there? Disc . Disc Who. Disconnected.

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What is the black mans favorite color? -Time for you to get a watch

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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What do a large mouth bass and my wife have in common? They are both in the Animal kingdom, both are vertebrates and they share many other traits such as eyes, a notochord, and epaxial/hypaxial musculature.

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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What is purple, covered in pus, and squeals? A purple hippo with an infected scab yelling at the pain

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Why doesn't Santa Claus like cantaloupe? Because he doesn't exist. You have to exist to like cantaloupe.

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I love boobs

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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whats more serious than rape... the holocaust

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops