Did you hear the one about the blonde who went to the grocery store? She walked in, purchased the items that she specified on her shopping list, then left and went to her daughter's piano recital.

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Someone once told me a joke. It was funny.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Why did the black man win the race Because he was faster than all the other contestants

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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It's your mother, open the door.

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Q: What can a bench do that a mexican can't? A: Support a family.

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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George W. Bush

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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