When is a joke funny? When you read it.

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What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't because it got hit by a car.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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Went to the corner shop - bought 4 corners.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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Your mom is so fat that it's becoming a serious health concern...

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Women's sports.

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A dog walks into a bar. The bartender asks the dog "what will ya have?" The bartender is then recognized as The Dog Whisperer

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What runs faster than a dead baby? Almost everything.

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Why doesn't Rick Moranis come out with anymore movies? He left the film industry in 1997, six years after the 1991 loss of his wife, Anne, to liver cancer.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why was johny late to school? He died

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Why did the black man not tip his waiter? Because she provided terrible service and was undeserving.

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Why couldn't Roger become an astronaut? Because Roger's a toaster.

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yo mamma so fat she seen a yellow train full of white people and she said stop that twinkie

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How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy I have Alzheimer's Hey I just met you

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Why did the man stay in the basement? Because he was addicted to pornography and it was tearing his family apart. Eventually he was unable to tell the diffidence between fantasy and reality and sexually assaulted his 13 year old niece.

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Going for the Dislike record woot I farted!

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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A man asked a guy in a store for football cleats The guy got all confused because footballs cannot wear cleats

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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