What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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WNBA

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she didn't have woman's rights Knock knock Who's there? NOT Sally, she's in the kitchen

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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How do you get a beautiful woman to go to bed with you? "How?" It's not a joke, it's a legitimate question!

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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what do you call a dog? it doesn't matter what you call it, its not coming

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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why did i go on the rollercoaster? because there was a muffin on it

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steves legs

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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