... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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3 blonds walk into a bar ouch

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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A guy sitting at a bar was getting really impatient for his drink, so when the bartender asked if everything was fine, he yelled, "No, it's not! Where the f*** is my drink?!" The bartender replied, "I'm not sure what you're asking, 'cause I don't know what letters the asterisks are replacing."

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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George W. Bush

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What is purple and flies? A purple plane.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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Did you see the blind man get hit by a car? Neither did he.

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Yo Mama is so ugly she wears a mask on halloween

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Once upon a time, You have a nice rack...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops