two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

thumb_up thumb_down +51

My sister has to take a dump

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do you call a dead baby in a blender? child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Me: Knock Knock, Pornstar: Cum in.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

what do a dog and tree have in common? nobody cares when they die

thumb_up thumb_down +43

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

thumb_up thumb_down +43

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen, warning him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and other bad life consquences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Q: Why did the little boy cry? please answer this question in the form of a 2 page essay and back up your answer from personal experiences, your readings or any other outside sources.

thumb_up thumb_down +39

What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

How did the guy with aids die? He died of aids

thumb_up thumb_down +37

Adam Sandler.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

thumb_up thumb_down +33

women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

memes

thumb_up thumb_down +31

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Knock knock! Who's there? Your neighbor My neighbor who? I already told you, it's pronounced "Wu". I'm very sorry, Mr. Wu

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops