Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

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What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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Why did Suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzy

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Black people are clen.

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Why did the boy miss a day off school? He was in a coma

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Ask me if I'm a Banana Are you a Banana? Yes Oh, I couldn't tell in this lighting

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Roses are #FF0000 Violets are #0000FF

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream cone? He got hit by a bus.

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I have the heart of a child... in a jar on my desk.

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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how did the chicken cross the road. it didnt.

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What is worse then Hitler? Shelly's Cooking.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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