Okay so two penquins are sitting in a bathtub when one asks the other "Hey pass the soap!". The other one jokingly replies "what do I look like a typewriter?"

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What did Jimmy get for his birthday? Nothing, he was dead

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What's worse than missing your favorite TV show? 9/11.

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W.N.B.A.

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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What do you get when you cross a horse and a pony? A mule

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*Knock-Knock* "Who's there?" "The police, you're under arrest for the murder of your wife and your two children."

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What did the mute child say to his parents for the first time? "My head hurts" Doctors later found he had hypertensitive heart disease and an aneurysm in his brain. He died later that month.

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Your Mom... is a very nice lady who makes good cookies

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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A van drives into a car. An hour earlier, the man who was driving the van walked into a bar.

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What did the pickle say to the banana? Nothing both of thiese particular things are sentiment and incapable of producing words and or thoughts. Along with a diverse enough personality to be creative enough to even think about asking a question. If you thought otherwise,GO SEE A DOCTER. Having sentiment objects talk to you is not normal.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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Why wasn't the child breastfed? Because it's mother died while in the process of giving birth and the father does not have the necessary mammary glands to produce human milk for the young child.

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How did the Pollack die? Cardiac arrest.

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jess yawns with no hands in front of her mouth. true story.

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What has ears, but can't hear, eyes, but can't see, a mouth, but can't talk, and legs, but can't walk? A deaf and blind paraplegic with an improperly functioning larynx.

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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Who flexes triceps more than anyone? James

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Pianca going ham

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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a black guy leaves prison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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