How many elephants can you fit in a car? Five. Two in the front, two in the back, and one in the glove compartment.

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What's worse than the holocaust? Probably nothing

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call Justin Bieber having sex with a women? Sex.

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What did the Chinese restaurants do with dogs that wander into the kitchen? Kept them as pets.

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What makes the turtle move? It's legs.

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why the worker did not come to work? Because he died!

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how do you kill a blonde? -a gun, knife or any other lethal object

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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I dislike old people.

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How do you estimate the number of jippos in an area? Take the dole's numbers from that area and measure how far away they are from the nearest council landfill site.

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two philosophers stood in silence at the foot of a very large mountain; a mountain not only too high to climb, but also too wide to walk around. So the first philosopher finally speaks: "...so, what do you do for a living?"

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Golf.

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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roses are red violets are blue kiss my ass you god damb goe..

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What did a cat said to another cat? Nothing because cata dont talk.

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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drugs.

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guess what Beethoven is doing right now. de-composing

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

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-Knock knock -Come on in!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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