What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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I had sex with the Earth, and out came global warming...Imagine what will happen if i had sex with Obama?

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Why is a giraffe's neck so long? Because it's head's so far from his body.

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

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Your mama is so....well we've been friends since childhood and I know your mother passed away recently. So, as to refrain from being an insensitive jerk to a good friend. I will tell this joke to someone with a mother who is fat, dumb, lazy, ugly, or has a combination of these traits. Or has none of these and happens to be a nice lady with a son/daughter who just enjoys a good mama joke.

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A man walks into a bar.

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Why does Michael J. Fox make a great milkshake? Because he's had a successful career where he has made a substantial amount of money, allowing him to purchase high quality ingredients.

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Q: what do strawberry and a cat have in common? A: they are both red except for the cat

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What lives underground? Grandpa

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Why did the penguin cross the road? Chicken

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what is red and looks like blue paint? red paint.

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If you saw two cowboys in a kitchen, which would be the real one? Why do you automatically assume one of them is false, or that either of them is real?

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Why didnt the kid go in the pool? Because there was no pool!!

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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Yo mama's so stupid, I told her it was chili outside so she went outside with a spoon.

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What do you call a black man who flies planes? A pilot, what do you call him you freaking racist!?!?!?!?!?

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Your mum is dead

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why did the chicken cross the road? because the light was green

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Time flies like a banana.

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Two cows are standing in a field One cow says "Mooooo"..... and the other cow says "mooooo" also because they are both cows and cannot speak

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Covietz has a large penis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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