Which of the following is NOT true? A. The lemon is walking to a store. B. The store is walking to a lemon. C. The man is a lemon and a store. D. Peanuts are stuck in my anus

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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How did Hellen Keller's parents torture her? They made her go to bed when she wasn't very sleepy

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What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

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Why did the thief steal the kitchen sink? Everything else was stolen by another thief earlier in the day.

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Whats the difference between a dead baby and an orange? One is a tasty treat you can peal and enjoy and the other is an orange

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What did Helen Keller say when she fell out of a tree? SHFVDHGCIJCBSHG

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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What do you say to a black man who is in your house at night-time, carrying your television? Sir, may you please put down the television as it belongs to me and I worked hard to earn the money to buy it. If you do not I will have to contact the authorities to deal with you in a correct and fair manner.

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It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

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Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

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What's funnier then an anti-joke? People who fail at making them.

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W.N.B.A.

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One day, Little Timmy asked his mother this question, "Mommy, why are boys and girls different?" She responded, "You're adopted and Santa Claus is dead."

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What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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How do you get a black man off a swing? ask him.

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What begins with "f" and ends with "uck"? A curse word.

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In Soviet Russia! People were much more finacially secure than they are now.

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What's brown, hairy and goes up and down? A kiwifruit in an elevator.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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