One Big Ass Mistake America

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, and says nothing. Ducks are incapable of speech and therefore it would be physically impossible for a duck to say anything. Where the duck walks up to does not partake in the matter.

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two muffins are in an oven one muffin says man its pretty hot in here and the other muffin says oh my god a talking muffin

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I am a real homosexual

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How many Chinese men people does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Anyone can screw in a light bulb, regardless of race or gender.

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a carrot walks into a bar, carrots cant walk for they do not have legs.

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Why are mexicans such hard workers? I don't know.

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Did you hear about the anorexic with the yeast infection? Apparently she's really good at math, and if she can overcome her afflictions she wants to become an accountant one day.

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What do you call a black man in a pumpkin patch? His name is Bill.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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when does the phrase "time heals all wounds" not apply? to people with fatal wounds.

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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Three black guys walk into a gym and play a rigorous game of basketball for an hour

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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Q: Why is the sun so bright? A: Because it reads books!

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Why do blacks have a little white on their hands? God has always said that everybody has a little good in them.

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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How do you beat someone in a video game? You win it.

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Women's Rights

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Q: Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away? A: The backyard gate was left open

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What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow that's been chopped in half? Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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