9:11 make a wish

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A man walks into a pet shop. He says to the shopkeeper, "Excuse me, do you have any dogs going cheap?" The shopkeeper replies "We feel that we price our animals reasonably, but the cheapest type of dog we have is £50." The man realises that, unfortunately, he cannot afford a dog so instead he purchases a goldfish. It wasn't the same.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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a fat man eats porkchops all day ling shit a just craped my pants

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Why was the Amish man dead? Because he fell off of his fridge, while trying to screw in a light bulb.

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Why couldn't the Little Boy hear his mother yelling at him? Because his mothers died

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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Why did James come back to drive the boat again this year? Because he likes driving boats and towing passengers

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Two guys walk into a bar. You think the second one would've noticed and avoided it.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

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why do sausage rolls taste of sausage and not roll? Seriously -_- what?

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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A man is talking to his friend at work. The man asks his friend, "Did you see the game last night?" Then a plane crashes into the building and we call it 911

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What did the doctor tell the boy with no arms or legs? I'm sorry, you have terminal cancer.

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How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

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Why aren't Anti Jokes funny? Cuz they're against my religion.

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How do you kill a fox in Canada? Cut it's leg off and let it run!

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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roses are red violets are blue i thought i was ugly but then i met you

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Why doesn't Santa come in the summer? Because it's not Christmas.

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Today, I had intercourse with a teddy bear

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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