Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know.

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George W. Bush

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What do you call a kid with no arms, no legs, and an eye patch? Names

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have genital warts Now you do too

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Why did the man have cold feet on his wedding day? The wedding was outside in the winter.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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Why couldn't santa eat cookies and milk at little Jimmy's house? He has diabetes and is unable to stray from a strict diet prescribed by his local doctor.

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Why did the cow lay down? Because he was tired

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why did stacey marry bally because she loves him

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What did the cow call the hen? A hen, what else would you call it?

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Knock knock.* Who is it? The police. We have news that your daughter was molested and will never been seen again for the man who stole her has takin' her out of our jurisdiction.

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*Look Down* Nice shoes, wanna F@#k?

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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what's brown and sticky? a stick.

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What's the opposite of Them Cox? Deez Nuts

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What's brown and sticky? Poop.

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What did the Canadian Goose say to the Snow Goose? You're white.

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Your mama's so fat, she's dead!

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Two Jewish Rabbis are sitting in a sandbox....

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops