what a tomato would say if his friend would be hit by a car? Nothing because tomatoes can't speak

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what do you call an asian flying a plane? a pilot

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Knock Knock Whos there? The IRS *locking noise*

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why did susie get hit by the bus? cause the bus driver wanted her ice cream

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was suicidal.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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What happens when you are caught in the serious offense of killing somebody with intent? You get in trouble.

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What does D.N.A. stand for? Deoxyribonucleic Acid

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A plane is flying from NY to Canada, but crashes on the border. Where do you bury the survivors? You don't bury survivors.... Just kidding, there were no survivors

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Why is jim gay? because he likes men

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Why did the bunny eat his food

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What is the difference between a black man and a bike? Bikes are not human beings and therefore cannot experience the ups and downs a human being experiences.

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Making jokes about 9/11 is just plane wrong.

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*via text message* Me: Hey Trevor! You at home? Trevor: This is Trevor's mom. Trevor committed suicide today.. Me: OMG! Why?!? Trevor: Because when I gave him a glass of water, it had 3 ice cubes. Trevor doesn't like odd numbers.

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There was a blond girl, a redhead, and a brunette. They all walk into a hotel and are granted equally friendly desk service because hair color is not a reliable indicator of intelligence or economic status.

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Q: why did the plain crash A: because the driver was a loaf of bread

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Why did the rhino cross the rode? Because it was the chickens day off.

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What did the women order for dessert? Pie.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a boy scout boy scouts come back from camp

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what's better than animal crackers? your mom.

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Why did the boy bump into a pole. He was sleep-walking with his eyes closed.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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