Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What did the mouse say to the elephant? Squeak.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why was the black man sad? People were frequently talking and whispering about his dark colouring behind his back. Also he had no legs.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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What's the difference between a dead baby in my garage and a Ferrari in my garage? I don't have a Ferrari.

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You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

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Why did the Jew pick up the loose change on the ground?Because he has to use it for taxi money to get back home.

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where's waldo? in a picture book.

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What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

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What is the difference between a black man and a white man? Different skin color.

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I've got the moobs like jagger.

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Knock Knock Who's There? ... knock a door run

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A small plane is carrying three passengers: a young boy scout, a priest, and the smartest black man on earth. Due to improper planning, there are only three parachutes on the plane. The engines cut and the pilot takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The black man says, "I am the smartest black man in the world. I need to live." He takes a parachute and jumps out of the plane. The priest says to the boy scout, "Son, you take the last parachute. I have lived a full life." After a very touching moment, the boy scout puts on the parachute and jumps out of the plane. Minutes later, the priest dies a horrific death as the plane crashes into the desert.

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A man walks into a bar, he drinks, then leaves the bar.

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what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did little Timmy get absolutely nothing for Christmas? He is Jewish.

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One day, Jimmy didn't wake up.

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What is 69? A two digit number.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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