Why did the man walk into a bar? Well hell I don't know I thought you might.

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The pennis has a tuff life, his best friend is a pussy, his neighbors is an A hole, his family is nuts, and his master beats him.

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what are three words that are never used together in the same sentence ...... salid taste good

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What did the mole say? Nothing

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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What did the mother say to her baby? These little piggies taste good!

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cut it out ..but i dont have a scissor

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Knock Knock Who is there? You have no Dick

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Whats gets stiff when you have sex with it? A dead body.

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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Why isn't this joke funny Because i have cancer

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You could stab him repeatedly with a box cutter and demand his social security number, but I wouldn't suggest it. He would most likely beat you up.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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shut up

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Two guys walk into a bar, the third one is a duck.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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Q: Why happened to the dead whale? A: It was shot by Asian pochures.

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What's green and has wheels? Grass...I was just lying about the wheels.

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you wanna hear a joke? no

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What did the man say when he dropped an apple on his foot? That might have caused some minor discomfort had I not been wearing shoes.

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Who is the richest clown? You're probably thinking Ronald McDonald but its actually Barack Obama

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Whats worst then the Holocaust? Two holocaust's.

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What comes after "Q" R

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Morgan Freeman walks into a bar. Everyone is pleasantly surprised they are in the presence of a celebrity.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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