What did the dog say when his family's grandmother came back to life from the dead and ate everyone? Nothing. This is a highly improbable situation, and furthermore, dogs cannot speak.

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A black guy walks into a bar with a beatiful parrot on his shoulder. "Wow," says the bartender. "That is really something. Where'd you get it?" The parrot was his fathers. Do to severe mental and physical illness, he can no longer take care of it. He asked his son to take it, those were his last words as he slipped into a coma

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Why wasn't Pat able to get an erection? Because Pat is a girl.

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How do you make Lady Gaga cry? You set her on fire.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas ? Cancer

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Why couldn't the Asian reach the sink? Because he was a 4 year old boy, and was only about 3 feet tall.

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Why was the little girl lying on the floor. Because she got shot.

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why does renee suk at tetris? i dont know thats why im asking

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Why can't Jesus eat M&M's? Because they keep falling through the holes in his hands.

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When did the War of 1812 begin? 1963.

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How do you make a blond cry? Rape her

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Q: What Did Batman Say To Robin When They Got In The Car? A: Get In The Car

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What in the world is that thing in her butt!!!

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What did the man who was punched in the throat say to his friend?

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A black guy, mexican, and asian walk into a bar. They leave soon after because they heard the "one about them"

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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Why was the black man excited when he found a $20 bill on the ground? -Anyone would be excited

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Why don't women need watches? Because they have clocks on their cell phones because they have jobs outside of the house and are INDEPENDENT WOMEN! MEN DO NOT DEFINE THEM!

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What did the girl with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Cancer .

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What are the things that define you? The things that define you.

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What did little Robbie get for Christmas? AIDS

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Why dont dinosaurs speak english? Because a meteor hit the earth and ran them into extinction

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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