a priest, a bishop and a cardinal walk into bar to hand out pamphlets about alcoholism

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What is the best thing about having sex with twenty-seven year old's? There's twenty of them

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Math problem: You have 50 candy bars and decide to eat 45. What do you have now? Diabetes.

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Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because he was being chased.

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NEIL PERT IS THE GREATEST DRUMMER OF ALL TIME!! I LOIVE SMOSH VIDEOS I SEENT EVERY ONE LOLOL

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Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Have you seen the size of their fingers!?!?!

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Girls go to college to get more knowledge. Boys go to Jupiter because they have an in depth understanding of astrophysics and interstellar travel.

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Why couldn't Maria play Softball? She was born without legs.

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What did the otter say to the pumpkin? I'm so glad I'm a walrus

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A very depressed man walks into a bar, sits down, and gives the bartender his credit card and says, "Keep giving me beers until I pass out." The bartender asks, "What's wrong Buddy? You can talk to me!" The depressed man explains that he was fired, his wife has been cheating on him for the past 2 years, both his daughters ran away and became prostitutes, his mother died after choking on his father's Genitals and the father had just been diagnosed with both brain and testicular cancer and will die within the week, his sister was kidnapped and sold into a sex slave market and has been missing for the past year, his brother confessed to being gay and committed suicide with his lover (male) after learning that their state did not accept gay marriage. He pauses to drink his beer, then continues on to say that he has been convicted of sexually assaulting a child even though he was innocent, his dog had just been run over by a tractor trailer with no physical body left to bury, his cat had gotten stuck in the garbage disposal and he turned it on without knowledge that the cat was sleeping inside. The man looks at the bartender and started to laugh and cry at his misfortune, he then said,"... And to top it all off i just spent the past 2 hours explaining this to a deaf bartender!" The man then went home and hung himself on the telephone pole outside his house. At the funeral only the bartender,who attended, spoke on his behalf, reciting the man's terrible life, then ending by saying, "This man death has motivated me to search for a cure to this rare Delusional Disorder."

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A man is walking on a beach when he finds a golden lamp. He rubs it and a genie comes out. The genie tells the man he will grant three wishes. The man wastes his wishes on material goods that do not bring him happiness.

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roses are blue violets are red I am dyslexic and possibly a Jew EJ

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What did the Ethiopian eat for dinner? Nothing

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you know what sucks more than getting raped by a gorilla? getting raped by two gorillas.

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How do you get a movie star to go out with you? Blackmail.

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A man and a women have a conversation. Man: what's 2 + 2 Woman: four. Man: you're correct.

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What do you call a deaf person? You don't they can't hear you.

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Black Poeple

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A black policeman and a white policeman work different shifts, one is during the day and one is at night and the both get equal pay.

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What did the Engineer say to the English major? Hey we went to the same school and got different degrees! Cool!

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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A man walks into a bar. [Insert punchline here.]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Loss of habitat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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