- Anti Joke

Why can't Helen Keller drive a car? Because she's dead.

What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

How do you kill a Russian? You shoot him with a gun.

Knock knock. Who's there? President. President who? The President of the United States.

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

What do you call a black person playing basketball? An athlete.

Why did the black man win the staring contest? He's good at staring

What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

What do you call a boy with no arms and a hunchback? -names

Knock Knock? Whos there? akward neighbor. akward neighbor who?

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

What happens when you eat too many breadsticks? You get constipated.

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

A: Knock knock. B: Who's there? A: I am.

What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

A baby seal walks into a club. And is brutally murdered for a hunting round.

newt gingrich

Whats funnier than a real joke? An anti joke

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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