How many light bulbs does it take to screw in a light bulb? One

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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How did the ruttabaga believe itself to be a ruttabaga? Because it was in fact NOT a ruttabaga, but some self-aware individual with delusions.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd probably put all the labials, coronals and dorsals in separate places sorted into plosives, nasals and fricatives, with the vowels at the beginning sorted by their relative IPA chartings, to make it more logical and easily attainable to foreigners.

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Why did the todler fall over? He's an iraqi child and has ben shot inboth legs being readied fro public excution for fighting on the opposing side a.w. j.p.

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Whats the difference between a duck? One of its legs are both the same.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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jack shine has boobs

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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A fat man buys a salad

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What's the difference between a single mom and a stripper? Job status.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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penisface

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a duck walked into the 7-11, grabbed a slurpee and told the man at the register, "put it on my bill". But the man behind the counter was Indian, and could not understand what the duck was saying. The duck then walked out confused, wondering why he was buying a slurpee in the first place

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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What did the blue man say to the purple lady? Do you want to make purple.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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