Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

There once was a beautiful princess named Snow White who lived with seven dwarves in the forest. One day, and old hag approached her and offered her an apple. She bit into the apple, chewed, and said,"Wow, that's tasty. Is this a Golden Delicious?" The hag said, "Why yes, it is. I have a private orchard. Perhaps I'll let you see it some time." The two promptly resumed their lives.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

A welsh guy walks into a pub. This something any average guy would do.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

what do you call the one eyed man in the land of the blind? You call him an outcast

Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

Hey! did you know Helen Keller had a dog? Neither did she...

Why did the cancerous elephant cross the road? it said WALK.

What did the mollusk say to the sea cucumber? I don't know. Neither of them can talk.

What does mens "man sauce" and babies have in common? They're both fun to make and easy to kill...

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

Why are "Polish" and "polish" spelled the same? The word is a homophone.

How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Baby seal walks into a club... what a tragedy

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

Q:why are lamas cool? A:because m&m's are poisoned with deadly dosages of viagra.

Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

Why couldn't the blonde divide 5 by 0? Because it's impossible to divide by 0.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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