A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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OK, A plane carrying 200 passengers crashes on the border between America and Canada. Which side of the border do you bury the victims? Well, it would depend on where the passengers where from or what they had stipulated in their living will. I suppose some would be cremated which opens up a whole other can of worms entirely.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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What do you call a cow with big horns? A bull.

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Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Roses are red Violets are blue I rhyme like lil Wayne Fridge

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What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Why did the cat cross the road? He thought he would make it to the other side, but instead was hit by a mini van and soon after died in the bushes from internal bleeding.

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

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A kid with no arms or legs is stuck in the desert. Sucks to be him.

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roses are red, violets are blue, fudge is sweet, heres some fudge.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

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What do you call a black guy with Alzheimer's? TO GET TO THE OTHER SIDE

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Why was Bill Clinton such a good president? He went to ifreeclub.com

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lewis bedford

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Why did the chicken cross the road it was out of its coop

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What do you call a mexican without a lawn mower? .....unemployed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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