you mother is so stupid that it takes her quite a while to understand jokes

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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What should I name my dog?

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Why didn't the baby drive the car? Because its a baby.

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Roses are red Violets are blue This line doesn't rhyme Neither does this one.

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GONNA

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Why did Rose throw the clock out the window? Because she's a moron.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

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Human is to breast as breast is to nipple as nipple is to milk as milk is to HIV as HIV is to AIDS as AIDS is to death as death is to heaven or hell as heaven or hell is to Jesus or the Devil as Jesus is to God as God is to the Universe

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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Hey, your mom left something at my house. It is pink and lasy. It is her new hat and i think she will want it back.

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Knock Knock Whos there Reality* Knock Knock *Opens Door*

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Two guys walk into a bar, one is treated for a concussion.

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What did the cancer patient say to the arab? the tumors hurt my body

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Why aren't jokes funny in base 8? Because 7, 10, 11.

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What's the difference between a black man and a large pizza? One is a popular Italian food and the other is a human being.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell down and bumped his head He suffered a serious concussion and was never the same again.

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What do you call a Jewish lawyer, who is happily married to a woman, but goes and sees a man on the side? A gay Jewish lawyer who cheats on his fake wife.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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