A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

no u

thumb_up thumb_down +28

What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Just kidding, Stephen Hawking doesn't drink.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What happened when the princess kissed the frog? She died, the frog was highly toxic.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

What do you call a fat Mexican? Whatever his name is.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Why is the world round? Because oranges are purple.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

Hello, ladies, look at your man, now back to me, now back at your man, now back to me. Sadly, he isn’t me, but if he stopped using ladies scented body wash and switched to Old Spice, he could smell like he’s me. Look down, back up, where are you? You’re on a boat with the man your man could smell like. What’s in your hand, back at me. I have it, it’s an oyster with two tickets to that thing you love. Look again, the tickets are now diamonds. Anything is possible when your man smells like Old Spice and not a lady. I’m on Sarah Jessica Parker.

thumb_up thumb_down +26

How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

thumb_up thumb_down +24

A dying homeless man walks into a Hospital. He is asked to leave because he doesn't have health insurance. He dies in a gutter next to where he shits.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do a baker and gynecologist have in common? They can smell it, but they can't eat it.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

a black guy leaves prison

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the kids stop playing tag? Because the boy was "it" was kidnapped and never seen again

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

thumb_up thumb_down +22

When Chuck Norris is bitten by a zombie, Chuck Norris doesn't turn into a zombie, the zombie turns into Chuck Norris

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Whats 2+2=? ?= CHICKEN

thumb_up thumb_down +22

I've got the moobs like jagger.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

what's the difference between a ferrari and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

roses are red, violets are not, this poem makes no sense. Bananas

thumb_up thumb_down +20

What is 69? A two digit number.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why could the black man not fall asleep? The gunshots outside his home in Compton constantly awoke him

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Jewish People

thumb_up thumb_down +18

why did the cow jump over the moon because it was on a high dose of lsd

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops