Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? He let go of it.

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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Why was the asian so good with computers? Because he spent 8 years in college getting a doctorate in computer programming at the University of Hartford

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Yo Aodhan yer hands smell of pish

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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womens rights!

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What did the man say after falling off the bridge? Nothing. He died a painful and terrible death on impact.

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how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

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the joke below me is not an anti joke

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Your Mama is so poor. I begin to worry about you and your familys' finacial situation.

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What did the human say to the human? You are a human.

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why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

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A Horse walks into a bar. Bartender:why the long face? Horse:I have terminal cancer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The chicken probably crossed the road because of some sort of impulse or external stimuli (most likely a bug or a worm located on the other side of the road) in which he or she responded to by proceeding to cross the road in order to get to the other side as chickens have a sense of cause to effect in which the effect would be consuming the bug or other living life form.

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? A watermelon is edible.

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Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

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What's the difference between a train and a lamp? A lot

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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What's worse than 9 dead babies nailed to a tree? 1 dead baby nailed to 9 trees.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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