You're momma's so fat, that I just wanna go over there and make hot passionate love to her. What? I'm a chubby chaser.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No

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How did sally fall off the swings? she had no arms. Knock knock, who is there? Not sally.

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why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know, you tell me.

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What do you call a retarded man? Nothing, because it's inappropriate to call retarded people names.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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Women's rights

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Where did Betsy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

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What do you get when you cross a grizzly bear and a dolphin? Well, the odds of these two animals mating are slim to none. Due to the undeniable fact that dolphins live in the ocean primarily in the warmer tropical waters and grizzly bears live on land in the pacific northwest where the water would be too cold for the dolphin anyway. The dolphin would be swimming around avoiding sharks and the bear would probably be eating a salmon. But if they did breed you would get a dolphinbear. Although a dolphinbear would have a very low chance of survival given it's part dolphin. Dolphins are pussies.

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how did the dinosaurs die? they got old

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A squirrel got killed by getting hit by a truck haha its funny cuz the squirrel died

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what is patrick wilson? smart

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Why did the man eat the apple? Because he was hungry.

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A woman is getting in the shower but the the doorbell rings so she puts on her towel and gets the door a man is there asking for sugar. Then she gets back into the shower then the doorbell rang again so she puts on her towel and anwsers the door another man is there he asked for some batteries she gave him some and went back to the shower. Then she hears the doorbell again she thought since there wasn't anybody else that lived on her street she decided to just go to the door without her towel so she answers the door thinking the blindmans there and it was the police man.

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Two muffins were in an oven. Neither of them said anything because they are inanimate objects. After they were finished baking, they were pulled out and set to cool on a counter to be eaten at a later time.

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Why did Justin Bieber smile in his mug shot? He did not understand the consequences of his horrible actions that could have killed many innocent men, woman, or children and, in jail, there could be very dangerous people living there.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? A lot of things. Dead babies are not funny.

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What's the difference between uranium and plutonium? Blast radius

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What did the Atheist say in the church? His best friend's eulogy.

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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What has lips and smells like a fish? A fish.

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What did the man say to hitler? hi hitler.

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Why did the old man fart?? Because he had gas

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Justin Littleton getting laid.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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