. Deez nuts Ok

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Chuck Norris can beat an eleven-year-old in a fight.

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What's the most wonderful time of the year? When your wife dies.

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roses are red violets are blue god made me pretty what happened to you?

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How did Notre Dame football stay so popular in spite of decades of mediocrity? Catholicism.

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Y2K

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Knock knock! Yes?

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yo momma's so fat that when she walked into church she had a nice conversation with some people who encouraged her to start eating better.

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Q: where did the pickle live? A: In the desert

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Violets are red Roses are blue I scrrewed that up Now can i screw you?

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Hey, I want to because you are really sweet and deserve it, and damn you are hot, but thats secondary in your case, in every case actually, otherwise I would just be doing it with meat whose soul and thoughts I hate/dislike/detest/etc, and that is not who I am. Once huh? I mean I said night/day/shower/breakfast table... Not so sure I can last for that long with a girl as hot and sweet as you for that long. Kidding, hey, best friend huh? Wow, I mean that`s really sweet, and you are really a special friend to me, but uh, to be honest, best friend? I barely know you... I hate this part of myself, I am blunt with that honesty thing, I may just have insulted you, but you know, I also need to be able to live with myself If I am going to enjoy life.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Its dad mom died....

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Why is Eeyore in Winnie the Pooh always sad? Cause he has a nail in his anus

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How do u know when someone is horny? look at there pants

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-Whats the worst part about being a black jew? -You have to sit in the back of the oven.

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Three jewish men are standing in at a bar. Its getting late and the bartender tells the three men its time to go home. As they walk out to the street, the bartender asks if they will be needing a ride home. Of course these three men had a few drinks, but did not live too far down the road, so they decided to walk. They pass the first mans house and he goes in to see his wife and three kids. They walk past the second mans house and he goes in to see his fiance leaving only one man left. He gets to his house, unlocks the door and goes inside only to find a note on the counter. He gets onto his computor and see that he forgot his wallet at the bar. He goes downstairs and walks out the door only to find himself falling into a giant pit. After falling for a while he starts thinking about his life. Then he remebered that he wasnt jewish.

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What do you call a shop dedicated to selling watermelon, fried chicken and corn bread? A poor business model.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Nothing. He is Jewish, therefore he does not celebrate Christmas, he celebrates Hanukkah. So he won't get a present for Christmas, he will get eight presents for Hanukkah. (He'll like getting a good deal).

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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Why did the man go to the restaurant? Because he wanted to get some food.

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whats small, black, and crispy? a baby in a drier

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How do you start a Mexican parade? Close off the streets you plan to have the parade on, and be sure to have a decent amount of floats and marching bands.

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What did the cowboy say to the alien? Nothing, this is a dream. Wake up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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