Three tomatoes are walking down the street... No wait, they're in my salad.

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What did the cat say to the chicken? Nothing. Animals are not capable of speaking.

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How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

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What do u call someone who lies? Jack eckert qnd colin

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Why did the angry husband murder his cheating wife? She forgot to cook dinner.

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Adam Sandler.

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What did the black kid get for Christmas? A Derrick Rose jersey.

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I'm on the seafood diet. A large proportion of my daily food intake is fish.

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What happened to the orphan on Christmas? he got raped

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What do you call Jesus Christ? Jesus Christ.

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WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW

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women's rights

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What happened to the dying kangaroo? He died What animal is not in the lion king? Kangaroo --why? Because he died...

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Two muffins are in an oven. How does that even work? Muffin pans come with either 6 or 12 muffin holders.

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What does a Mexican do in a landslide? Lose a good deal of his hard earned property to the disaster.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he wanted to.

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what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

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memes

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What do Ethiopians do at Christmas ? Starve...

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Q:What do you call a dog with no legs? A:It doesnt matter he's not gonna come

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A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

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wanna hear a joke?... Womens rights

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Why is Helen Keller a bad driver? Because her inability to see or hear makes her an extremely dangerous road hazard.

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why did jimmy fall off the swing? because he was a tree.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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