How do you kill a blue elephant, with a blue elephant gun, how do you kill a pink elephant, you strangle it until it turns blue and shoot it with a blue elephant gun.

What's the difference between people who make dead baby jokes and people who don't make dead baby jokes? I don't avoid eye contact with people who don't make dead baby jokes.

Whats long and hard? a pole

Why did the lion get lost? -The jungle is massive

Whats sad about a black women killing herself? She was my mother

Why did somebody text "lol"? Because they laughed out loud.

A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

Q. What's black and white and red all over? A. Certainly not a newspaper. Nobody reads those anymore.

What happens when you cross a dog and a cat? Something.

memes

what's the difference between a lamborghini and you're mother. cars don't scream when you rape them

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

Wanna hear a joke? Toyota

the iPod hand is such a great deal It's only seven ninety-nine..........................................ninety nine for one hundredth of a dinosaur wait a minute...

Sea World Japan.

A man walks into a bar. He buys a drink and then goes home and beats his wife.

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

Why couldn't the kid get into the Pirate movie? He died in a car crash on the way there because of a drunk driver.

A man with a ski mask on enters a bank, he just came back from the slopes.

Why do black people love watermelon? It's simply delicious.

W.N.B.A.

knock knock. who's there? whoer whoer who? whoer you?

How do you get a baby out of a blender? Call the police and have them deal with the tragedy.

whats worse the being in a car crash? finding out that your mother and father were in the other car and were fatally injured.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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