An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

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Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

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Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

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How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

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Q: What faster than a black man with a t.v A: A jew with a coupon

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Your mum is dead

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

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WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

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What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

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What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

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What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

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It's your mother, open the door.

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A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

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Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

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A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

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Giving birth to the antichrist

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What do you call someone who states the obvious? Someone who states the obvious.

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Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

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What do you call a women with two black eyes? Someone trapped in the cycle of violence that is domestic abuse. The few friends and family members she still speaks with tell she should leave. They don't know about the last time she threatened to leave him, when he held a gun to her throat and screamed "You try an leave me I'll kill you and your precious god damn babies!" Now she suffers silently for fear of what he might do to her family, but is increasingly worried about the way her husband has begun looking at their 13 year old daughter. Every night she kneels at the foot of her bed and prays for death, over the sounds of her own sobbing and her husbands drunken rage. Also she is a slow learner.

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Why was Six afraid of Seven? During the crossover episode of Blossom and Star Trek: Voyager. Six traveled ahead to the distant future and found herself on the aforementioned starship. Her situation was confusing and frightening, even more so when the half-female, half-Borg appeared before her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? There was a shoe sale at JC penny on the other side

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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