How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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my girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile, thats a big word for a 3 year old

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person 1-As me if I'm purple... person 2- Are you purple? person 1- no

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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Pianca going ham

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What is the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same.

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jess is a drama queen am i right rishi ?

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I am a real homosexual

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What do you call a gay, black, Muslim physician? Doctor.

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Why did the horse fall over? Because I shot it

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What is the same about a plum and an elephant? They're both grey except the plum

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? Statistically speaking, in a brief survey done by the United States Traffic Commission, they stated that a standard 4-door sedan had the highest percentile of drivers. So, in regards to the legal system, a person may only fit, in fact, 5 jews in a car.

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Hey you want to hear a joke? Oh well. Goodbye

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Covietz has a large penis

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A bear walks into a bar and says to the barman "I'll have a pint of................ beer please." The barman says "why the big pause?"

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What did the drug addict get for Christmas? He got hepatitis, fired from his job, and nothing from his family because their relationship was badly damaged by his addiction.

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How do you make an antijoke corny. How? Corn.

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George W. Bush

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What's the difference between your wife and a female dog? none - they are both bitches!

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Why is 6 afraid of 7? Cause 7 is black.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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