What's worse than a dead baby? A dead puppy.

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How do you get an elephant into a fridge? You can't - elephants are too big to fit in fridges. How do you get a giraffe into a fridge? You can't, see above. If there is a raging fire in the jungle, which animal will survive? Most likely the parrots and other birds, as they can fly away.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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What is 6 plus 9? 15

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Q: Why did Rapunzel fall out of the tower? A: Because she was a dumb bitch.

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What do you call a giraffe driving a car? A danger to society.

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A blonde girl walks into a screen door. She is blind.

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If a quiz is a quizzical what is a test? It is an assessment intended to measure the respondents' knowledge or other abilities.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? You shouldn't eat Jews, unless your a cannibal for which you should seek psychological help.

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96

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Osama Bin Laden. Oh wait...

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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your family is so poor that you require healthcare to recieve money

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wuts at the end of the world? nothing the earth is spherical and therefore does not have an end

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What did the penguin say to the polar bear? Your in the wrong hemisphere

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whats worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it? being raped by justin beiber

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A father gives some golf balls to his son on his son's birthday. The son then goes into the woods with the golf balls, and then comes out without the golf balls. "What did you do with the golf balls?" asks the father. The son says nothing. On Christmas the father gives his son more golf balls, and the son does the same thing. He goes into the woods with them, and leaves without them. Again the father asks what he did with the golf balls, and the son says nothing. This happens for many holidays to come, until the son gets hit by a bus. In the ambulence, the father asks; "One last question ,what did you do with the golf balls?" The son dies

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Knock-knock. Who's there? Interrupting Cow. I'm calling the police.

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A married couple was in a terrible accident where the man’s face was severely burned. The doctor told the husband that they couldn’t graft any skin from his body because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate some of her own skin. However, the skin on her body that the doctor felt was suitable would have to come from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they requested that the doctor also honor their secret.

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what was the dying mans last words? im dying

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Q: Why did little Johnny not like little Suzie? A: He was a homosexual.

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milly, milly, milly, cat

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow who? ...

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*Knock Knock* "whose there?"... "me"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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