What do you call postman pat when he is retired? Pat.

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How do you know if a monster is hiding under your bed or in your closet? Go and look.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? 9/11

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How do you wake up lady gaga? punch her in the dick.

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My mom's dead

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Justin Bieber

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Lilys are from england violets from japan. I've got a knife now get in the van

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What did the plane say after it flew into the World Trade Center on 9/11 Nothing, planes are incapable of speaking.

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Q: what did the boy get for Christmas A: a new wheel chair his legs were recently amputated due to the same cancer that killed terry fox.

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the awkward moment when Rick Astley gives you up

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Why did the baby cross the road? It doesn't matter. He was hit by a bus.

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The racist uncle went to attend his nieces bat-mitzvah. Although he is racist, he is smart enough to not speak his mind, for he is in a temple, and may offend many people at the service.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ben. Ben who? Ben Dover.

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what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

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Three blondes are walking through the woods when the come upon a set of tracks. The blondes stepped away from the tracks to watch the train as it went by.

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What's the difference between a women's running team and a band of pygmies? Quite a lot.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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Humpty dumpty sat on a wall. Humpty dumpty had a big fall. All the king's horses and all the king's men did not come to help him because the United States does not have a patriarchal system of government.

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What rhymes with sloth? Cloth

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Nock nock. Whose there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting cow wh. ( mmmmooooo)

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How does a black man make an anti joke? www.anti-joke.com/submit

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What do you call a person with no eyes? Blind.

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Why couldn't the orphans go on the field trip? Their parents couldn't sign the permission slip.

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What happens when you mix 3 pounds of baking soda, 2 dozen cans of Mr. Pibb cola, and a live tortoise? It makes a terrible mess and your wife gets upset at you for getting the house so dirty. She refuses to clean it up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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