The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

What did Mambo say to Jumbo? Nothing. Because they weren't friends.

a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

A man buys free health care...

Where did Susie go during the bombing? Everywhere

what do you call a martial arts instructor with a medical degree who's name is Richard? Craig... just kidding, Richard

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Q:How do you turn off a Jewish Lamp? A: You press the Auschwitz.

What's wrong with him? He lit the flashlight at both ends.

What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

What type of food was the black guy eating? fruit, he is on a diet

Golf.

A horse, a duck, a pig, and a muslim walk into a bar. The horse ducks, the duck's hoarse, the pig's in a blanket, and the muslim has a can, being surprised how far a can can preach in Chicago. The bartender reminds the muslim that he entered with a swine, and the muslim is embarrased for the horse.

What's funnier than 24? 25.

What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

A man has 72 cookies, he eats 64 of them. What does he have left? Diabetes.

What s faster than a black guy with a TV? His brother with a VCR.

What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

Why can't Ray Charles read? Because he's black.

What's the deal with airline food? It's nourishing matter that sustains life, provides energy, and promotes growth distributed by flight attendants.

Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog.

What should I name my dog?

What's samller than a table but can't go under it? A baby with hay fork in his back.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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