whats red white and blue? i dont know

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If you have two berries in one hand, and three in the other, what do you get when you put them together? Five.

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What is green and has wheels? Grass, i was lying about the wheels

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What did the man say to the other man? I am unsure of what he said, but it seemed like a pretty nice conversation until one of the men got hit by a elephant.

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The man who ran behind the bus got exhausted. The man who ran in front of the bus got tired. The first one survived.

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a man walks into a bar, sits down, sighs and says, "i had the worst day ever." the bartender replies with, "worse than 9/11?" the man then says "well, 9/11 wasn't that bad."

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3 guys and 2 women walk into a bar and sat down........... good to see both sex`s were welcome in the bar

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Why did the girl's cat fall from the ceiling? Because she didn't use enough tape.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the chicken was trying to escape from the sad and depressing environment that surrounded him on the side he thus came from. Alas, he did not know that he would be soon hit by a drunk truck driver, who would also die, in a bright explosion of morbid flames and screams.

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Two guys walk into a bar... They sat down, had a few drinks and left without any incident.

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What is one thing you can't buy at the store? Toast

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Wanna hear a joke? Me too.

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Why did the insect play marco polo? It couldn't. Marco polo requires multiple players.

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what did the man say to the other man? hi

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I tried to post an unfunny punch-line-less joke on anti-joke. It worked and I got tons of emotional affirmation from it and stuff, so thanks.

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Michael J Fox likes his martini's shaken because they taste better that way.

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What's funnier than 24? 25.

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Why didn't the man show up for work on Monday? He gets Mondays off.

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What did the man say to his wife when he bought a dog? I bought a dog.

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What do you get when you cross an African-American, a bird, and ice cream? I don't know.

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A blonde walks into a store and asks for the microwave behind the counter. The man behind the register promptly hands her the microwave and charges her $435 for it, which is utterly ridiculous.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Who the hell named a blue flower "violet"?

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Why was the blond looking at the orange juice box? Because she was reading the nutritional content of orange juice.

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Why do leprechauns laugh when they run through the grass? Because it tickles their nuts.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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