that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I think I may be colorblind.

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Whats worse than a dead dog? 5 dead babies and a dead dog...

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Mmmmmmm Lemons

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Do you think people can change? No. They can change their mind.

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... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

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Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

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what did the deaf kid get for christmas ? An ipod.

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If life gives you melons.. You're just plain retarded.

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What notes does the tightrope-musician have to worry about? They probably have to concentrate generally harder than the average musician in order to produce any correct, good quality notes.

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George W. Bush

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a pedophile

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why did the little old lady die? she was mugged then shot in the head 5 times.

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Welcome to AntiJoke.com Jeff. Jeff just got his mind blown.

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Do you like fishsticks? If so you are not a homosexual fish as fishsticks are a frozen food rather than fish genitalia.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? The KKK

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Whats worse than breaking your pencil? Getting a cactus shoved up your ass.

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Guess what? Chicken butt? Poultry gluteus maximus!

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A man walks into a bar. He drinks then comes home to his whole family murderd and mutilated

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What's your middle name? (Interrupt them) It doesn't matter what your middle name is! What does deduce mean? Fall down the stairs.

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A man stuck his diick in a blender He had a "penis shake" for breakfast

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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