jordan HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHH

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Knock knock! Who's there? It's me, Allison. Oh, come in!

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What do you call a person with no legs, no arms, no eyes, and no heart? Well he'd be dead wouldn't he?

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Why can't Michael Jackson play Chess? Because he's dead.

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Why was the plumber very sad Because i killed his family

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Your as much use as Anne Frank's drum kit.

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why is 5 afraid of 6? it isnt

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Shit I forgot to put the slash. Thang god for google

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Q: What's black and white and red all over? - - - A: Nothing. If it is red all over, then it is not black and white.

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what did the robot say to the centipede. Stop being a centipede!!!! Its funny because robots have arms.

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Wife: Do you know what the most untruthful lie I've told you? Husband: What? Wife: That I love you. By the way I'm leaving you for your father. The twins are gay and in love with each other and your daughter is a hooker with AIDS. Your mother killed herself upon hearing all this news. She suffered a lot. Oh, the dog died by rat poisoning that your dad put in the backyard. Bye.

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If I have 10 apples and you have 45 oranges how many plates can we fit on the roof? Purple because monkeys don’t fly

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Q: What did the bulbasoar say to the charmander? A: bulbasoarrr

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Why didn't the 13 year old boy have any friends? He was autistic and didn't connect properly with people.

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When life gives you lemons, throw them away. Nobody likes lemons.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock. Whos there? NOT SALLY.

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A preposition is a bad thing to end a sentence with.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations]) That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

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What's funnier than Mexicans? Whats funny about Mexicans?

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a mexican, an asian and a black are all in a car, who's the driver? their friend bill who offered to take them to the upcoming three days grace concert.

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why can't Helen Keller drive? because she's a women

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A black, asian, and white guy jump off a building, who lands first? Well, according to newton's law of gravitation every massive particle in the universe attracts every other massive particle with a force that is directly proportional to the product of their masses and inversely proportional to the square of the distance between them. It depends on who weighs the most

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where do you get virgin wool from? ugly sheep.

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There is a penguin at the bakery: i want 2 loaves said the baker white or brown bread says the penguin does not matter I'm a moped

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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