A priest and a rabbi walk into a bar. The priest is a former alcoholic, and has the strength to turn around and leave.

Wanna hear a joke? The 19th amendment

Why did the chicken cross the road? it didn't it was being sexually abused by its father.

Did you hear about the black guy who went to college? Neither have i

what do you get when you cross a chicken and a mad scientest? a mutant chicken

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

womens rights!

how do you confuse a brunette? tell a joke about how there are no beaches in florida

why didnt the dog bark? he died in his sleep

A black guy and a Mexican jump off a bridge. Who dies first? Nobody cares.

how many jews did hitler kill during the holocaust? too many jews

69

It's a scientific fact that if you took all the veins out of your body, and lined them up end to end, you would die.

What's better than nailing a baby into the wall? Football.

Q. Why did the chicken cross the road? A. Why dont you ask the chicken.

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

Why is Michael J Fox so good at using shake weights? Because he is motivated to stay in good physical shape.

Sea World Japan.

What do you call a one-armed man Whatever his name is

A women walks out of a kitchen.

What did the homeless man get for christmas? Nothing

What is the difference between a bench and a mexican? the bench is an object

Why did the used car salesman stop selling cars? He got fired.

You know what's worse than finding a worm inside an apple? finding crack, too late to spit it out.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...