I walked into a dark ally at night and ran into 2 black men They severely beat me then while unconscious brutally raped me. I then spent 5 weeks in the hospital in a deep coma.

What's brown and sticky? Human Feces

One night you tell your mom to make you a sandwich, the next day in school you ate a delicious peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch

Why did the dog go in the bar? Because the door was left open

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. They have trouble understanding each other.

God.

Why is the dinosaur yellow? He's not.

... and so the rabbi says "Don't worry. It was a kosher pickle anyway."

Sam: Knock knock? You: Who's there? Sam: Sammy Sosa. You: Hi, Sammy Sosa. Sam: Hi.

Doctor, Doctor I keep getting pains in the eye when I drink coffee! It's not the coffee, you have a deadly case of ocular melanoma, a form of cancer that affects the eye. You'll be blind within the next 24 hours.

How can you tell if your wife is dead? She no longer has a pulse.

Any idea of his whereabouts Nero? I am the leader, I fund this myself, as you know money is not my problem, its rather loyalty.

How do I recover from my Pokémon addiction? Catch 'em All!

Your mum is dead

Roses are red Violets are blue I own a lawn mower Can you swim?

What do you call five white guys sitting on a bench? THe NBA

WHY DID THE KID RID HIS BRICK HE WAS BLIND

What's the difference between a white person and a chair? -The chair isn't a complete douche.

What's the leading cause of pedophilia? Sexy kids.

Why did the monkey scream? He was hungry

It's your mother, open the door.

What's worse than finding a real joke on anti-joke? Finding a repeated joke about no armed susy falling off a swing.

A boy goes into Mourne View and meets a girl what happens next? He's now a father living off of the dole.

A black man, an Asian, a Jew, and an American all jump off a building. Unfortunately, they all died on impact and their families will mourn for years to come.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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