How did Hitler like his steaks? He didn't like steaks, he was a vegetarian.

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How do you wake Lady Gaga up? Poker face

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Q. What's brown and people don't care when they step on it? A. Dirt

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Suzie.

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A man about to get on a plane forgets to store his utility knife in his bag before the security scan. He is taken to a back room for private questioning and fined.

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A black guy and a white guy are sitting in the bar. Later they will probably return to their respectable homes.

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9/11/01 walks into a bar

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Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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A teenage boy tells his family that he is gay. His mother says she had always known, and they accept him for who he is.

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Q.Why was 6 crying? A.Because 7,8,9

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God.

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Why did the 40 year old man quickly close his web page when his wife called his name? Because he had to leave.

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What happened when a black man's phone went off? He answered it.

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This post contains NOTHING.

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why did Louisa go black and never go back? She got hit by a truck

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How do you make a panda toot? You punch it in the stomach.

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Q. How did Kit Kat candy bars get their name? A. It was chosen by manufacturer.

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Women

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Why was 6 afraid of 7 Because 7 was black

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What's worse than Bin Weevils? Nick Clegg.

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Why did phil krahn go to the store? To get one of those suits

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that awkward moment when you get in the van and there are no sweets...

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roses are red violetes are blue you need to shut up or I will kill you

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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